A New Submissive Diary

If anyone knew what I was doing they would lose all respect for me. I am doing things for you that I have never done. You called and I did what you told me to do. I am still shaking. You asked me to go to my shower and pee on my hand. – and I went to my shower, pulled up my skirt and tried to pee. I was ashamed to do that – to let anyone tell me what to do. But I did. I am still not wearing any underwear. I spoke in front of 20 people and I was so scared they would know. And that there would be a big wet spot on my skirt when I stood up. I wasn't excited just nervous. But no one knew and I was glad to be able to do what you wanted.

When I sat down to answer your e-mail from last night, you called me. You asked me about what I would do? You told me "do it". And I did. Thank you for not making me pee outside. I sat and you asked me if I would be degraded and I said no I don't want that.

You asked if I would be shared and I said yes. You asked me to play with my nipples, to pull and twist them, and I did. You asked me to rub my juices all over my face and suck my fingers and I did. You offered to tie me up and leave me with a note for another man to come and fuck anyway he wanted. And I wanted that too. I wanted you here watching me, fucking me. I was so wet. I went to my bedroom and slapped my tits and pussy and it felt so good. You told me to get my vibrator and I did. You told me to fuck myself and I did. You asked if I wanted to be used by men, more than one. I was so hungry I told you I wanted to fuck everyone.

You talked about filling all my holes and about pulling my hair and slapping my face and it just made me hotter. You called me slut and whore and I didn't mind. You asked who else but a slut would do what I was doing. And I knew you were right.

You had me fuck my ass with the vibrator and I didn't think it would fit but it did, so tight. You had me walk around with it and look in my mirror. You said get a nail file and a brush. You had me file my nipples and it hurt but I got wetter. You had me spank my nipples and my pussy with the brush and fuck myself with the vibrator up my ass. You told me to call myself slut, whore and I did and you told me to imagine three men fucking me in my mouth, my ass, my pussy. You asked would I be with another woman and I said yes. You asked why and I told you I wanted to suck her tits and taste her. You told me I was a slut and a whore, you made me scream it. You told me to lick my vibrator clean and God help me I did - and then fucked myself with it and slapped my face and tits with it.

You made me beg. But somewhere in there I stopped calling myself a slut and called myself your slut. You let me finally touch and taste my pussy and rub my clit. But when I was about to cum you made me stop. You said I didn't deserve to cum. You talked about everything I did with you today and said "but you wouldn't meet me without a bra on". And I wondered why that was. You told me to feel proud of being myself but I'm not sure that I do. You told me it was natural desire to be used and fucked by men and I felt the truth on the inside, but I am afraid still.

The next time, after I begged you – you let me cum and I came so hard. Then you stopped me again and said we would just talk. You asked me different questions about what I would be willing to do.

I told you I needed you to fuck me so bad and you told me no. That you were only going to show me but not fuck me. You asked if I would let you bring another man to watch while I fucked myself in both holes and begged you to let me cum and I said yes. More than one – I said yes. I told you so much about all the things I want – to be tied , to be spanked, to be taken by more than one person, to fuck a stranger, to be fucked by a woman, to give up all the control and let go and obey you Sir. To be helpless against your wishes and desires, because I want what you want me to have.

You asked if I wanted to cum again and I said I didn't think I could. So you told me to fuck myself some more with my hairbrush, to slap my tits and rub my pussy and I came again. You told me you are proud of me. I said I am still not sure if I am proud of myself. I know you think that is foolish.

You told me I must thank you after we talk and that I must call you Sir or master. You told me I can beg and plead but never tell you no or you will walk away. You told me yellow and red are safe words I can use – but never to tell you no. I said yes and you waited and I said yes sir really quiet and you waited and I said yes sir very clear and loud and you told me I could rest now. And I thanked you. I don't want you to stop or walk away. I am afraid to be punished.

You said you would show this to other people. Let them see what a slut I am and it makes me wet now hours later. And afraid someone will know me for myself. You told me not to wear any panties so I went to the store and to lunch with a friend. Came home, colored my hair and read tarot cards with her all with no underwear. Still afraid there would be a spot on my skirt from my cum. And when I rinsed the dye out of my hair in the shower, my nipples were bruised from being twisted and burned from the nail file – but it felt good to me.

Now I am sitting here with my pussy bare on my chair writing to you like you wanted me to – Thank you Sir.