How much would you pay for what you want most?
Our greatest desires always have a price in order to attain them. Some of us pay, many of us give up because it costs too much. Often we live without them, we never have enough time, we never have enough motivation.
Some of us do.
How much would you pay for what you need most?
Our obsessions can destroy us, or make us. Our needs can lead us to a path of success, or failure. Are you willing to pay the price, to risk everything for that need?
I would.
I did.
Everything she did, every word she spoke, every breath she took became my melody. Like a harmony, a sequence of notes that rang in my ears, a tune that elevated my need and obsession. I live in her presence everyday, I serve and I yield, I yearn and I obsess, I give in and I give up...everything for her perfection.
How did I end up here?
Here. I kneel, head to the ground, knees to my chest. I prostrate myself in her presence. I am restrained, for her sake and mine. The tight ropes bite into my wrists and elbows behind my back, they bind my ankles and I am grateful for them, I wish I could thank her but I can't. All I can manage is to drool around the bit-gag sitting tight between my lips, straps secured around my head..and there she was.
Paying me no attention whatsoever.
She had work to do, spending her time and giving her attention to her laptop whilst sat at her desk. I was a few feet behind her, out of her sight. out of her mind while she occupied...no, while she owned mine. The love of my life, my dearest bestowing upon me the gift of misery and yearning.
A gift...unquestionably so. I am her puppet, her pawn, a toy to use for her amusement. I had a choice, and I chose what cost me everything.
I gave it all up to love her, and I continue to pay the price, every single day. Today, the price was my pain, misery and discomfort. The floor was not nice to my knees, I was losing track of time and the pool of drool my chin rested in would not do me any favors when it is inevitably noticed. It's not in my control, of course, but who would take the blame? It's my mess. It's my fault.
In-fact, it's my fault I'm even here. My weakness, my obsession that lead to my self-destruction by her hands. She gave me a chance for us to be equals and I was incapable of comprehending such a thing. I want to live my life under her thrall. It was my dream. My greatest desire. My need.
I wanted her to own me, and she did, when she made it very clear to me one day.
"I own you. I own your mouth. I own your lungs and how much air I give them. I own your pussy, I own how it can't help but get slick when I ruin you. I own the confusion in your mind."
How did I ever get so lucky?
"I own the love that grows stronger for me the less I see you as a person."
Fuck.
"Go deeper."
I did, with no hesitation. I did everything and anything for my love.
Just as I do now. I suffer, even when she isn't looking. It has been a while, I don't know, my mind is a muddled mess and my desperation leaves a tight feeling in my chest that makes it hard to breathe. So deep was my need that her voice would quell my misery, but it doesn't come. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve her.
Yet I love her more and more every-day.
The silence breaks and it snaps me back to earth. The chair moves, and I see you stand on your perfect, precious feet. You turn to me, and grace me with a look of disdain.
"You're making a mess on my floor. Gosh, I hate you. You're so stupid, just a drooling cunt with half a brain."
Oh god yes. Please. Yes. Tell me you hate me. Tell me I'm scum, I'm stupid, a fuckhead, a dumb cunt.
It makes me feel so good.
