Hera Stries Bac

"Athena, I must say again how grateful I am for you allowing me to use your temple this morning," Hera said as she sat down on Athena's throne near the altar, and rubbed her temples. "It is a total cluster-fuck outside on the Acropolis, and..., frankly, I was not able to hear myself think with everyone talking at once. The quiet solitude in here is helping me concentrate!"

"Oh, your majesty, Mom," Athena said. "I am glad to assist and only because I have been so fortunate! I think my temple here is the only one in the whole Greek world to have survived this calamity. But, now that we are alone, I must ask. What is your take on all of this? Is it over, or, do you think there will be another attack?"

Hera furrowed her brow as she glanced over at Athena, and said, "I don't know, daughter. I really do not know. We have been fortunate, so far, but I hate counting on luck forever."

"Fortunate?" Athena cried. "You call this fortunate?"

"Oh yeah," Hera said. "We have been very fortunate. If this temple, and the other shrines on the Acropolis had fallen in the attack, we..., well..., let me just say, it would not have been good."

"Yes, but if we are attacked again, what then? We have taken one hell of a hit on this first wave. We could not withstand another. What happens when they come back, which, I fear, they most certainly will."

"Yes..., we certainly have taken a hit," Hera said, her face darkening at Athena's question. "But the Acropolis miraculously still stands. I really must ask you who you used for an architect for this building. It has held up well today."

"You are hedging, Mom!" Athena said as she narrowed her eyes. "You did not answer my question. What happens if we are attacked again? The Egyptians could return at any moment!"

"Alright, you want an answer to your question..., well, do you want my official thoughts, or..., non-official?"

"Mother! Stop being coy, I want to know what you really think?" Athena shouted. "For the first time in my life I see a real look of fear in your eyes, and since you are the most powerful Goddess on Olympus, the fact that you are afraid fills me with dread. Give me the straight story. I am sure with all of our collective divine wisdom, we can figure this thing out."

"Ha! You were always the smart one, Athena," Hera said as she forced a grin onto her face. "I think when you popped out of your Dad's head, sadly, you took most of his smarts with him on your way out. I also think you painfully overestimate our 'so-called' divine wisdom. Did you hear some of the lame and dumbass suggestions being made by the other Gods to deal with this crisis?"

Athena sighed, and said, "Yes..., this has not been the finest moment for Olympus."

"No," Hera replied as she shook her head. "It has not. Between Hades wanting to charge into Egypt like some idiotic avenging Fury, and Dionysus saying this all must be some big misunderstanding, and wanting to invite the Babylonians over for a friendly drink, I really could use some sage advice from a cool head. And that, my dear, is another reason I wanted to use your temple. You are one of the smartest Goddesses on Olympus."

"Thanks," Athena said, "And don't forget those Nordic fuckers! They stabbed us in the back when our defenses were down! But..., you are still hedging, MOM! You have not answered my question. What is your assessment. I want to hear it, warts and all. I am a big girl, I can handle it."

"Well..., I can't decide on the proper metaphor to use to accurately describe our situation," Hera said. "I mean, we are fucked of course..., and not just royally fucked. That we could probably deal with. Thousands of years of marriage to your father," Hera added as her eyes flashed, "has taught me all about being royally fucked. His wandering dick has caused us no end of problems in the past, but this time, his perpetually perambulating prick has managed to fuck up the entire world!"

Athena gasped. Her mother, Hera, was no prude but this language was out of character for her. This was even more alarming than the look of fear of the Queen of Heaven's eyes, and Athena felt her stomach erupt into a low rumble as worry flowed over her like a cold rain.

"So," Hera continued, "this is our situation this Solstice morning. We have, my dear darling daughter, entered into a whole other level of fuckitude. One we have never explored before. We are not only colossally fucked, and perhaps even metaphysically fucked; but, I fear, we are eternally, completely, utterly and existentially fucked!"

"Perhaps you may need a—" Athena said as her face fell.

"Oh no," Hera snapped, "I do not need a drink. You wanted my assessment, warts and all, and this is it! We are completely screwed. With all of our temples destroyed, and our priests and priestesses killed, the sacrifices have dried up. Soon, and probably sooner rather than later, our reserves of Manna will dry up, and our helpless state will just get even more helpless. Without being able to rebuild the temples, and with our powers rapidly evaporating, and no way to recover; we will just get weaker and weaker as the entire Greek world descends into a dark age that will make the war with the Titans look like a garden tea party! If we were to be attacked now, we would be finished off with barely a whimper."

"Holy Mother Gaia, Mom!" Athena gasped. "If this is meant to be a pep talk to rally the troops, frankly, it sucks!"

"I am only telling you this," Hera said. "As I said, you were always the smart one in the family. Which means you are smart enough to handle the truth..., the ugly, unvarnished and depressing truth!"

"Well, if you aren't going to have a drink," Athena said, "I will...! Ganymede!"

Ganymede rushed into the temple, and said, "Yes, oh wondrous Goddess of knowledge and war, whose fierce beauty inspires both lust and fear in the enemies of Olympus, whose tremendous intellect has inspired philosophers and sages from time immemorial to pontificate upon the vagaries and essential meaning of life, whose glittering armor, glinting in the first rays of the Solstice sun, rising up from the crystal—"

"Ganymede! Give it a rest," Athena snapped. "Hera and I need a drink, and we need it now."

"Of course, delicious divinity, of course. I have a very nice cabernet Franc that survived the attack. You will love it, I am sure. It is a good vintage, as it was quite dry the year of the harvest and the grapes were—"

"What else do you have? I don't think wine nectar is going to cut it this morning! Given our dire circumstances, we need something a bit more—"

"Distilled, I would think," Hera interrupted. "Oh what I would not give to have Euphrosyne's tequila giving cactus with us right now."

"Tequila, magnificent mother of the universe?" Ganymede said. "I am unfamiliar with that grape. Is it a red or white..., or even perhaps a rose?"

"I agree," Athena said. "I wish we were still back in Euphrosyne's cave right now. I think I would suck that fucking cactus dry right about now!"

"So do I, dear," Hera said. "So do I." Turning to Ganymede, Hera added, "You know, perhaps coffee might be wisest choice. We really should keep our wits about us today, what with the end of civilization at our throats, and all."

"Divinity," Ganymede said as he bowed, "Your instincts, radiant and glorious as ever, more insightful than the wise Socrates, whose prognostications and proverbs illuminated generations of—"

"Ganymede," Hera said with a scowl. "Brew a big pot, and make it black! We need lots of caffeine today!"

After Ganymede left, Athena turned to Hera, and said, "Mom, uh, I don't know how to ask this..., but, what specifically started all of this trouble? I know Dad was involved, as he always seems to be at the center of every trouble. But, even at his worst, I would not think he could do something that would cause a coordinated attack from ALL of the Gods against us at once."

"Yeah, well," Hera said, "never doubt the power of your Father to fuck shit up good! But, even I have to admit, I am at a loss to explain all of this. I know Zeus fucked that little slut Sekhmet, so I understand Ammon Ra's rage at the impregnation of his daughter."

"Yes," Athena said, "Remind me who she is again? Was she that crazy girl with the snake head? Dad always was such a freak."

"No," Hera said as she shook her head. "She is that little cat-headed skank. You remember, she came to the state dinner and sat at the head table."

"Ah, now I remember," Athena said. "OK, that explains the rage of Egypt, but, what is the Babylonian's beef with us? I thought relations with God Marduk were fine."

"So did I, dear," Hera said. "So did I. That remains a big mystery. I understand why the Egyptians attacked, and those low rent Nordic fuckers always like to join in during a kill-fest, so I get why they are on the rampage, but Babylon is a mystery."

"You don't think Dad and Ishtar..., you know, —"

"—Ha!" Hera laughed. "I highly doubt it. Oh, Ishtar certainly is beautiful enough to attract the attention of my husband, the King of the Dogs, but, she is not his type."

"Honestly, Mom," Athena said, "but I thought Dad's type was anything with tits and a slash."

"True, but even he has his limits, and, well..., that bitch is CRAZY! And if there is one thing I do know about my husband, it is this. Drama makes his staff of power wilt. And that skank is nothing but drama."

"Your coffee," Ganymede said as he entered, "most perfect being ever conceived, whose delicate hands sculpt the cliffs of paradise, whose worshipful toes trail patterns in the sand, that travelers from distant—"

"—Thank you, Ganymede," Hera said as she took the pot and poured she and Athena a cup. She turned to the cup bearer to the Gods, and said, "Do you care to join us? I think I could use your wits today..., if only you could perhaps be a bit more succinct than usual."

"Thank you so much, your magnificence, whose eternal wis...," Ganymede said before pausing and sitting down. "Thank you. But, I could not help but overhear what you were saying to Athena. I think I might have some answers for you about Babylon."

"Oh?" Hera said. "What insight can you give."

"Well, did you not hear the story Demetrius told about how Aphrodite went missing?"

"You know, in all of the confusion, I did not," Hera said. "Is it related to the attack?"

"I think so," Ganymede said. "He said that Ishtar attacked Aphrodite with, well, with something that sounds very much like the ancient sword of Chronus. Strange... But, anyway, after she swung the sword, Demetrius said he saw a rip formed in the air, and she, Aphrodite and the sword were ripped into the void. He only avoided that fate because Aphrodite had him chained down to the sand. I am positive that is why Marduk has attacked. He is looking for Ishtar."

"Ganymede, you are a lifesaver," Hera said. "That might very well explain Marduk's attack, but I still need more information. There must be more to this story than you are telling me, and of course, we will need to get Aphrodite back! Go fetch this Demetrius. I need to question him."

As Ganymede rose and bowed, Athena added, "I think you should also bring Archimedes into this conference. He is very smart, and I would like to hear what he has to say about all of this."

"Yes, you are right, daughter," Hera said. "Archimedes has been especially helpful. Both Hades and Hephaestus swear by him! Why he, more than any of us Gods, is responsible for saving Athens. If he had not created that God-Ballista, we would be even more fucked than we are, so I will value his input into our plans."

"I shall fetch him too," Ganymede said. "Should I bring Orion and Circe as well? They brought Demetrius to Athens from Aphrodite's temple and might be able to assist."

"I don't know, Ganymede," Hera said. "I have no problem with Circe. She is very bright, and from what I heard her say, she was part of the initial repulsion of the Babylonian attack. But, I am not so sure about this Orion character. I, as the patron Goddess of aggrieved women, have heard countless prayers of revenge prayed to me over the years about his perpetual philandering. He has left quite a wake of pissed off exes, and, aye, Pythia alone has cried out for a decade for the most horrific revenges to be unleashed on him. So..., I don't think—"

"—Well, your Majesty," Ganymede said, "remember, he did bring Artemis back to Athens to heal, that is something, isn't it?

"Perhaps," Hera said. "But still—"

"—And he was the first to really take the fight to the Babylonians. Demetrius and the acolytes of Aphrodite surely would have perished had he not shown up at the last second," Athena said. "We will need good fighters like him if we are to win this war. Even if he was a cheating little fuck, maybe his fresh good deeds can redeem his past transgressions."

"Well," Hera said as she stroked her chin. "But still—"

"—Mother," Athena whispered, "If you are looking for justice for his cheating, well, I think Artemis has punished him pretty effectively. Those balls of his are sealed away forever. Surely that should—,"

"—Alright already," Hera sighed. "Never let it be said I cannot listen to reason. You two have convinced me. Bring them all forth, but send Demetrius in first, and send him in alone. That beautiful boy is at the center of this whole mess, so I want to hear from his own mouth what he knows about Ishtar. He is the key to unlocking this whole mystery."

Ganymede bowed and left.

Minutes later, Demetrius knelt in reverence when he was brought before the two Goddesses in the temple. Hera, looking as beautiful as ever, smirked as she ran her piercing violet eyes over his naked body. Athena too smirked, as she gazed down at him, a hazy twinkle of lust flickering in her eyes.

Demetrius was nervous in their presence, especially given the fact they had assumed their true Goddess forms and now towered fifty feet over him. The fact he was naked, as he had been for centuries now, only made him feel even more insignificant and self-conscious. Regardless of the fact he had been traipsing around with so many Gods and Goddesses over the centuries, being in a divine presence always quickened his pulse and made his stomach flutter. Humans can never truly adjust to being in the company of Gods. He cupped his cock and balls with his hands and lowered his head in reverence.

"Now, now, boy," Athena said. "Don't cover up! I hear from all my gal pals you have been wagging those twig and berries at all of the Goddesses but me! I should feel insulted."

"Athena, don't tease the boy. It isn't his fault you weren't on his list," Hera said, "and remember, there is a war on."

"I know, MOM," Athena said. "I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit. All of this talk about charred destruction and death is quite depressing."

"That it is, that it is," Hera sighed. Turning to Demetrius, the Goddess said, "So my perpetually naked gorgeous boy, here we are again. It appears that you, my handsome little cum denied bastard, are at the center of this event that now shakes the world to its foundations. So..., what can you tell me about the Goddess Ishtar and why she would have come here to attack Aphrodite. It is important that I know all that you know. I am sure she did not just show up by accident."

Demetrius, his mind flashing back to his interactions with Ishtar: the quest for Carya in the cave, the teasing torment of Ishtar's honey nymphs, his accidental calling out Aphrodite's name in her temple, gulped. He had quite a lot of explaining to do.

*****

"The Uber driver just called, and said he would be here in ten minutes!" Darla cried as she closed her suitcase and walked into the living room of her Austin Texas apartment.

"Ten minutes?" Shelia yelled from the back bedroom. "Holy fuck, that is not enough time! I thought you said our flight doesn't leave until one?"

"You know we still have to check in, and get through security," Darla said as she walked into the bedroom, "and..., Damn it! What in the hell are you doing?"

When she saw Shelia sitting on top of a third suitcase, desperately trying to keep the overstuffed bag shut long enough to latch, she said, "You know we have to PAY for extra luggage on the plane. I am already tapped out after buying our tickets, so we have no more money for extras like this!"

"Well, I can't go to New York without being properly prepared, can I?" Shelia said. "I mean, with all of those hip clubs, and cute New York guys, I had to bring something appropriate to wear. I can't go to New York looking like some sort of redneck big haired Daisy Duke, can I?"

"Shelia, you need to just concentrate on one guy," Ishtar said as she walked into the room, "and that guy is Constantine Demopolous." She turned to Darla and lifted her one carry-on bag, and said, "See, I got everything into one bag, just like you asked."

"Thank you, oh Glorious daughter of the moon," Darla said as she bowed. "Perhaps you can knock some sense into your other 'acolytes'!"

Ishtar laughed as Dottie rushed in, looking equally harried as she pulled an enormous trunk behind her.

"What the hell is with you guys?" Darla sighed. "We can't even get all of that in the car? How in the fuck is it going to fit in the overhead compartment! We aren't MOVING to New York you know! We are just going there for a little while."

"Don't be such a bitch, Darla," Dottie said. "It isn't that big."

"You know; my cousin Steve doesn't have that big of a place. He can't fit all of this shit into his 1-bedroom apartment."

Shelia, pointing over at Ishtar, said, "Speaking of him, did you tell Steve about our special guest yet?"

"Not yet," Darla said. "I thought it best not to disclose too much up front. Plus, what could I say that wouldn't make me sound like a fricking loon? Hey Cuz, can you put me, my two roommates, and the ancient Goddess of Love and Desire up in your pad for a few weeks? No. Steve will have to meet the Glorious Ishtar on his own."

"Yes, I am most curious about this, Steve," Ishtar growled. "From his picture, he looks quite yummy!"

"Hey!" Darla cried. "You promised to leave him—"

"Don't get your panties in a bind, Girl," Ishtar said with a wink. "Your precious little cousin's balls will be safe. I gave you my oath to let him be."

"I am sorry I snapped, great Goddess of Love and Beauty, Ishtar the magnificent, daughter of the Moon, Queen of the Night, Divinity of the—" Darla stuttered.

"—Yes, yes," Ishtar said as she rolled her eyes. "Enough of all that. I am not pissed, and I understand your natural concern for your cousin. I wouldn't want some Goddess milking Baal against his will, but, your worries are baseless. As it turns out, it appears I don't need Steve's pre-cum anyway. My new acolytes are performing quite well back at the trailer park. It seems Jim Bob is a natural producer and heavy, heavy leaker."

"So, do you have enough Manna built up for the trip?" Shelia said.

"Oh yesss," Ishtar hissed as she inhaled deeply. "I have resisted using any magic over the last few days, so my manna reserves are in good shape. Jim Bob's balls have provided a nice harvest! And as long as I am conservative with my spells, I should have more than enough to last until we get back. I really need to save up all I can in order to use it to find Constantine."

Ishtar and the girls jumped when the horn from the Uber driver sounded outside.

"Well, this is it," Darla said. "New York City, here we come!"

***** Across town, Jim Bob grunted as a dollop of his precum slid out of his purple cock and plopped into the small measuring cup beneath him. His face was beet red and he was covered in sweat. It had taken over an hour, and, the whole experience was humiliating in the extreme. Crouched on all fours on the Formica kitchen table in Sally's trailer, his hands held down tight by the phantom gloves, he was naked, red and throbbing; as he had been for a month.