I Don't Care About You

Divorce is brutal in many ways, yet so very freeing in most other ways. Amber and I had been married for five years. The first three years were incredible. Then it just went to shit. We fought all the time. She became withdrawn except when angrily engaging or confronting me over little nit-picky bullshit. Every little fucking thing that went wrong became such a big deal that it consumed her for hours. She became more angry and bitter towards me because I was still functioning quite well in our normal daily life. She slept twice as much as usual. A complete bitch when her eyes were open. My patience was quickly vacating my being.

I tried to get her to recognize the change which always set off her defensive side and then she'd shut down but not before nastily unloading on me verbally first.

I tip-toed around on eggshells trying to help her for over a year. I would jokingly say maybe she needed therapy, a Rx or "maybe you just need a good fucking", all of which always instigated a fight. Each time I faintly suggested she seek professional help it set her off, so I learned to avoid giving my thoughts.

"I'm fine, she'd always scream! I don't need a doctor! I'm not depressed or crazy! You are!"

If she wasn't being such a cunt and she would actually engage me in any sexual activity, I would probably have had more tolerance with her. But with this change having lasted for over a year now and me not having touched my wife's vagina in about as long because of this change, I wanted out. I finally saw the writing on the wall and started to seriously consider divorcing her.

From my previous experiences, these sudden changes in attitude and behaviors have concluded me two things:

First, she's hooked on drugs, or second, withholding sex usually meant they're getting it elsewhere or they're about to walk outta your life.

She had nowhere to go, except maybe an Aunt or cousins, that I knew of, so I dismissed her leaving me. As she started to withdraw from our life, she had begun to slack on caring about her appearance. She wore no make up, stopped doing her hair and nails, wore hoodies and baggie clothes, things she normally wore on winter nights, were now worn 365, which completely overshadowed her natural beauty and rocking body. With her like this she wasn't oozing sexual attraction and in her state of mind, with her bitchy sour negative attitude I can't imagine anyone trying to break through those walls just to try to get in her pants. So what was going on? She wasn't the same woman I married.

I wanted away from her.

The night we met, Amber caught my eye immediately. Amber was wearing this summery outfit and her bare midriff, ass and legs caught my attention first. Then as I scanned her body up and down, I decided I wanted to try her. Amber is Latina, 10 years younger, stands 5'3", weighs 108lbs, athletic body with toned legs, flowing deep brown shoulder blade length hair, a 27 inch waist and full 34C cups. When I saw her eyes, I saw beauty. But her best attractive feature was the one thing that was killing our marriage: her attitude and personality. The more I got to know Amber, the more attractive she became. Hanging out with her was like talking with one of my boys, throwing back cold ones. She could dish it out and take it. She knew sports. She knew football, both pro and college and she actively played golf, my favorite sport. We gelled. I was addicted to her. A year later, we married.

The first few years together were fantastic. We laughed. We discussed our future. I wanted to provide her whatever she wanted. I was very happy and committed to her. We fucked regularly for years, at least 5x a week. Nothing kinky, just good hard passionate love making. Then it became less frequently and then it dried up and disappeared, all leading to this point.

The more she uttered out of her mouth, the more I started growing frustrated and began resenting her. She seemed angry and despite trying to have dozens of "talks", we perpetually argued. There was no physical touching anymore and fucking seemed outwardly taboo to her. Towards the end, despite becoming a cunt for a wife, I still wanted to fuck her tight 5'3", now 100lb. body and cum on her tits. But, again, she wasn't having it.

I really was in love with her at one point, not too long ago but I was reaching my limit of bullshit. If someone is moping around sad, bitching a lot, yelling at you, complains everyday, repeatedly... BUT NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT ... it all wore down my basic tolerance of having any compassion and it eroded any remaining empathy I had for her. I was on fumes in this marriage, but yet, I still felt I owed it to her to give our marriage one last chance to resurrect itself with a 100% last ditch effort on my part.

I decided to do it and to surprise her with a five day getaway to an exclusive resort in Mexico for the following week. I was hoping for a breakthrough and that Amber would come around. When I told her about the trip and my hope, she turned to me and with a snappy, bitchy attitude asked me, "Why? What's the FUCKING POINT?" and

in the same breath, she continued to answer her own question, irritatingly screeching her voice louder, saying "Because WE ARE THROUGH! This marriage IS OVER, YOU DON'T LOVE ME", she finished barking at me and stomped off. Of course, I predicted this charade and her pouty "poor me" antics. She and I have a totally different understanding on what "love" truly is, I'm realizing. Typically of late, these dramatic outbursts will take an hour or three before she'll come out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, which both are in line of sight to the den where the main TV is on and I can see whenever she's come out of her black hole. But, shortly after her storming off I heard the front door open, then slam. I didn't expect her to leave. She's never done that before. I got up in time to see her dragging a duffel bag down the driveway and struggle to put it in a car waiting on the street. This was the first time she had ever left.

Maybe she is right, the marriage is over, which I already knew, but needed to accept, I thought to myself. Then I reasoned and summed it up that she was being a dramatic attention seeking queen expecting me to come running out to the street to stop the car. Back in the day with her, she would've been right. But not today. Instead of the usual thoughts that would've been in my head, like "who's fucking car is she getting in?" or me actually pulling the driver from the car and apply a beating on him, I felt relieved she was gone and now outta my sight. I went out to the back patio and smoked a joint. Fuck that bitch.

"I need better pussy, I said out loud, laughing stoned with myself. Pussy that listens. Fuck that bitch."

It had been two and a half days since she stormed off. I mean, no contact at all, no calls, no texts and I seriously only gave her a thought in the mornings while making my coffee. Overall, I was happier, less stressed, much more relaxed, not worried about her at all. I started feeling easier about things knowing I tried one final time with the trip in a few days to Mexico. Fuck her if she doesn't recognize my efforts, I thought.

Wanting even more distance from her and this situation to gain clarity, I decided to go to Mexico anyways. Being a guy that has not been fucking his wife, I went to Mexico very discreetly with a mutual friend of ours, named Kerri. That's a whole entire sexventure story for another time. So, when I returned from Mexico, I found Amber had returned to the house.

First words outta her mouth "Where the fuck have you been all week?"

"Mexico."

"You motherfucker," she screams and throws the first thing she grabs at me (a coffee mug). It wasn't even close to hitting me.

"Who went with you," she demanded? In the same breath, she continued "who was she? That coworker? You fucking pig!" she said, having concluded in her mind that was the truth.

I ducked a fork and spoon hurling my way.

"How could you, she asked? "You know how much I love you!" she says storming off down the hallway in her small, too tight shorts and wearing one of my wifebeaters, tied at her stomach.

As much as I wanted to hurt her by telling her I WAS actually with another woman in Mexico and brag about her pussy to my wife, I wasn't going to give her any ammunition knowing I was filing for divorce. But, I also wanted to protect Kerri and keep her name out of it, since I took her to Mexico, being as how she and my wife are friends.

Attempting to quickly diffuse the situation as she walked off, I lied to Amber telling her I went with my good buddy Clint. I offered her the phone to call the hotel to verify what I'm saying, knowing full well the hotel won't disclose that info over the phone. I was bluffing. She stopped walking away, turned towards me and shot me the double bird while yelling "Fuck you! I don't give a shit BECAUSE WE ARE THROUGH, MOTHERFUCKER!" To this day, Amber knows nothing about being replaced on that trip with Kerri.

Two days later, I filed for divorce. I couldn't wait for her to be served because she's not expecting this and we're still living together in same house, this is sure to be huge fucking fight. I had to be there so she didn't attempt to destroy the house or any expensive shit inside. I wanted to just get it over with so we both could move on.

Amber was served the divorce papers the following week, which started a few days of hell. Not so bad that neighbors called the cops, fortunately with all of her piercing screams of "Fuck you!" "How could you?" "Don't you know how much I love you?" "You don't love me", "Fuck you!" over and over. I made sure I was gone as often as I felt I could.

After Amber got over the initial misplaced shock of my leaving her behind and going to Mexico without her, then being served the divorce and learning I'm keeping the house because I've owned this house for three years prior to our first ever meeting, Amber resigned she needed to move. She was angry about everything and once she made up her mind, she wanted her own place ASAP. I wanted that, too.

To expedite her departure, I went out of my way to be a dick to her. I vowed for as long as she was gonna stay here that I would make her very uncomfortable, alone hoping to force her out the door. It worked. I helped pack her shit and opened the door to show her out. I slammed and locked the door to drive home the point. That's how she ended up at her cousins house a day later and had been there for the last 3 months of court for our divorce. During this time we only spoke through lawyers, per the court and didn't see each other until the court proceedings began. I was happy to see she cleaned herself up and at least looked human again.

It was a contentious, bitter divorce. She wanted shit that wasn't hers, like my old Mustang that's 80% restored. It got ugly. I hated her more and more each day. On the day of our final court appearance, I thanked the good lord that finally I was done with that bitch, it was over. I took a deep breath, accepting that she couldn't suck anymore money or life out of me.

Then I looked over across the courtroom to see Amber was sobbing. I felt more victorious than I thought I would. I wanted to openly return fire the double bird at her right in the court room and do a celebatory dance on the courtroom table top.

Her cheap lawyer was trying to gain her focus and stop crying so she could review the final papers that we both needed to sign to make this official.

She looked defeated. I found total enjoyment and thrill in her demise. As I was laughing at her, I realized I was introduced to my dark sadistic side. My dick was rock hard. So, when I saw her standing at the elevator, I wanted to gloat but instead slowed my roll, hoping to catch the next elevator down to the lobby and avoid any contact with her, but no such luck. Damn elevator timing didn't cooperate. Soon we were standing within the social distancing standards and time seemed to stop. As I waited for the doors to open any second and get me outta this situation and avoid having to interact with her. What seemed like an awkwardly excessive amount of time, was really maybe 20 seconds.

She looked up and over at me with an emptiness that her life was over. I couldn't help myself. I broke a smile.

She started sobbing again. My dick was hard again, but instead of indulging my new urge to destroy my now ex-wife's spirit, I chose to be nice to her. Awkwardness lingered and finally I broke the tension in the air and engaged her in small talk hoping I wouldn't have to hear her more than a minute in total. Finally, the doors opened, I let her enter first and she pressed the L for lobby button.

"Where did you park?" I finally asked as the elevator headed down to the lobby as the doors opened. I was trying to gauge how far she was going to be walking next to me, looking like a total wreck and still lightly sobbing.

"I'm right over there," she says as she points towards the bus. "Something is wrong with the SUV and it's at Rick's (our mechanic). I had to take the bus to court this morning."

So, I was, but yet I wasn't shocked to find myself giving my now ex-wife a ride after court to her cousin's house where she was now living. Why the fuck was I being so humane to this woman? My dick was hard. That explained why I was disregarding all logic and lessons learned seemingly to follow my sadistic urge to mount in triumph the woman I just crushed in court. With that realization, I wasn't too surprised 25 minutes later, to find us driving past her cousins neighborhood and pulling in to my driveway (which was our old house). Once inside in no time at all, I had Amber willingly bent over the back of the sofa as I buried myself balls deep into her vagina, just pummeling away. I hadn't fucked her like this in a long, long while. She willingly allowed me access to her body each time I initiated sex that night. Amber didn't say no, which was unusual. Not that she was ever against sex, but we only ever did it in cowgirl or missionary positions, it seemed when she did green light me.

Her current behavior is in stark contrast to the last year or so when she became withdrawn and uninterested in sex. I tried to ask questions about it and she always had an excuse. Obviously, this eventually wore on me and our marriage took the hit. Prior to a year and a half or so ago, we still maintained a reasonably healthy sex life. It had waned over time since the honeymoon phase, but I was good with it and thought she was too. Then sex disappeared. No explanations.

Now, on the day of our divorce being finally official, with her sobbing in court, I was fully aware that her sudden sexual willingness was a sign she was obviously struggling to let go of our marriage and sex allowed her to hold on and feel close, I surmised. I wasn't falling for it. While I thoroughly enjoyed her giving her body openly to me and her allowing me to have her any way I wanted, I sure as fuck didn't want her misinterpreting any of this to mean I suddenly gave a fuck again. She needed to lock in on the fact that there is nothing beyond this moment and I told her so. Every time I wanted to fuck, or just because I knew she wouldn't say no, I started taking her with more aggression not giving her time to process things. I tossed her around. I started talking dirty to her. I started talking down to her, telling her what a worthless wife she ended up being.

I enjoyed taking control and feeling her hot body respond to my touch as I became more aggressive with her sexually. I said humiliating things to her.

"Don't try to be a good wife NOW that we're divorced! You are worthless. I was so wrong about you," I said.

"Noooo," she kinda cooed loudly, arching her chest up then rolling her hips upwards, hoping to be touched.

I immediately knew she was different. Besides her willingness to NOW fuck, every time I called her a name or belittled her in a certain way, she let out a moan while raising her vagina up to be taken. She was always soaked. I was enjoying the pleasure I was getting from calling her dirty names in addition to controlling her willing body. I mocked her. She spread her legs wider.

"You failed as a wife, I told her and you'd probably fail as a slut, too, so I have no use for a worthless piece of ass."

I told her, "that her pussy was useless." Every time I humiliated or embarrassed her, she spread wider, always got wetter and often orgasmed.

I liked seeing Amber get turned on. I loved watching her cum so I kept degrading her until she did cum. I angry fucked her. I hate fucked her. I celebratory fucked her over our divorce. I was using her body while abusing her mind for my pleasure and telling her in her ear as I fucked her that I always knew she was a dirty slut at heart. I discovered calling her a useless fuck toy gave her two orgasms. I liked that I was getting off on shaming her.

So, in this moment, I decided to get my moneys worth, so to speak, out of her pussy until I got sick of her. I chose to get the last 12 months of her pussy she deprived me of for as long as we continued this marathon fuck sess. Long into the following day, I was still fucking her at will. I felt in control by grudge fucking her like a rabid whore the entire time. I used her probably 10-12 times over a 36 hour stretch after our divorce was final that day.

Amber did not resist or protest to anything I did to her, which I wasn't used to.

The more power I took, the more she submitted allowing her body to be flipped, rolled and fucked willingly. I was hard as lumber realizing that her submitting her naked body was empowering me. I liked feeling dominant over this wounded bird that I shot making me recognize I was getting off on my sadistic, dom behavior on treating Amber like a worthless piece of ass. However, what made my dick fully stretch to its fullest was Amber's body's response of a constant flow of thick, sticky juices signaling how much she was getting off on submitting.

But, I know her tricks and methods. Her pussy used to be irresistible to me and she knows that. Her pussy used to be my Temple. She knew how to use it to manipulate me and I didn't forget that. I assumed that's what she was doing, playing games. I figure her endgame was to try to keep her claws in me by using the only thing she thought I wanted: her pussy. She gave her body up anyway I wanted to fuck it, which only told me she was trying to trap and hook me with it. Paranoid? Maybe. Just being real? Most highly likely. Any unsuspecting man, given the extreme physical pleasure her body provides would've been falling for her antics. I surely was not going to again.

As the saying goes "For every hot chick a guy sees, there is some dude who is sick of her" meaning I was too far gone out of love with her, I realized, and as I stroked my ready to explode dick in and out of her welcoming vagina, I only had anger in my cock, in my thrusts and in my blood. I realized I had zero positive emotion towards her despite my momentary fuckhead decision to give her a ride from court that day. I was truly accepting of the fact I didn't give a shit about her anymore. I gave her a ride outta guilt maybe or because I am a sucker for a sobbing woman, especially when I made them cry in the first place (A devils conundrum within my head, indeed!) or maybe it was how hard my dick got from shaming her, but whatever the reason, I found I was now fucking her with an aggressive, reckless abandon. I took it as a win-win. I was unapologetically fucking her like someone would a hot one night stand. I just wanted to abuse her body for selfish gratification. I was making up for 12 months. I was getting off on this.

I repositioned her reverse cowgirl and pulled her onto my cock as I yanked her by her hair and pulled her face next to my mouth and asked "Where was this dirty little willing slut side of you before?"