I'm prepared for this. I really am. I've been working on the presentation for a week. I know this material inside and out.
Then why am I so nervous? Why am I'm hesitating outside his office?
Even after my internal pep talk I can feel my palms are sweaty. I wipe them quickly on my pencil skirt, straighten the buttons of my blouse, and smooth back my hair, which is pulled into a high-tight ponytail.
I take one last calming breath and knock. His voice carries through the door as he tells me to "Come in".
I've been working here for six months and I still feel knocked off my heels every time I face him. He is...intense. That one word describes his physique and presence. I find him intimidating and compelling but I'm trying to push that all aside so I can focus on this presentation.
As I'm standing there gapping at him he gestures for me to take a seat and pulls up the material that I emailed him just before I came in.
I sit in the chair that he indicated and open my own computer. My fingers don't want to cooperate. I fumble the keys while typing in my password. I keep my eyes down so I'm not looking at him and start talking.
It's obvious that I'm nervous. He must notice it. I'm speaking too quickly and stumbling over some words but I slowly sink into my flow. I'm smart. I know this stuff. My confidence comes back.
He asks a few easy questions. I've prepared and I provide smart answers quickly. After the last slide I pause and feel a grin pull up the corner of my lips. I did it.
We sit silently for a few seconds. His eyes are piercing. The silence lasts a second longer than is comfortable before he breaks it with a final question.
When that question drops I feel my face flush quickly with heat. That is a question I'm not prepared for! How did he pick up on the one topic that I hadn't considered?
He's watching me, motionless like a predator, waiting for my answer. I don't think. I just react and say the first thing to comes to my mind. He sighs and drops his hands. His gaze has turned from assessing to stern.
Caught! That was a stupid idea and we both know it.
He stands slowly. Coming around to my side of his desk. He crosses his strong legs and leans against his desk. He's now close enough for me to smell him and feel the heat of his body. I edge my butt back in the chair, just a little, to get some space.
He asks me how I feel about the answer that I gave him and I have to admit that I wasn't thinking. There is no talking my way out of this with him.
His fingertips are tapping on the edge of his desk while he looks out the window. When his gaze is turned I feel my body relax. That's the moment he grabs my ponytail. Hard. When I least expect it.
He yanks me out of the chair and I fall onto my knees which rub painfully on the carpet. I hear his belt opening with a clink and the sound of his zipper pulling down.
He tells me "That was a dumb answer and you know it. I will not tolerate that kind of incompetence in my office. Do you understand me?"