An Old Friend

Thursday night.

I let out a sigh of relief and closed my laptop. It was a rough semester, and I was more than ready for the relaxation that winter break provided. It would have been nice to go home and see my family, but we all decided that I would save the travel cost and visit them in the spring instead. With my final essay finished and submitted, I was a free man. The clock read 12:43 am.

I went about washing up thinking when Heather came to mind. Funny, it's been a while since I had thought of her, but I guess four months is still insufficient when forgetting someone. Thankfully, the sadness was gone, and only fond memories remained. She was incredible, and we were incompatible. What seemed like a genuine spark revealed itself to be nothing more than coincidence. We were at the right place at the right time, but just weren't meant to be. She was happy now with someone else. I caught her eye last week on campus as she held hands with her new partner. It was no bother, we gave each other a smile and that was that.

I slid onto my bed and started the usual pre-sleep browsing. Cycling through Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube worked well to tire my eyes. After a few minutes I felt myself dozing off. I could faintly hear my housemate Tom laughing with his girlfriend over the phone in the other room. It was a peaceful night. A quiet night.

My phone blared suddenly, breaking my drowse. Who would possibly call me at this hour? Probably someone back in California, someone who forgot that New York was three hours ahead. I checked my phone to see I was right, but it wasn't anyone I expected. It was Hailee. I haven't heard or thought of that name in years. We knew each other back in high school, but we hadn't talked much other than a group project our third year. We were in different friend groups, and whatever mutual friends we had I lost contact with. I had a mild crush on her back then, but nothing came of it. I lacked confidence. Still do, I guess. She went to a school in California last I heard, so we never really got to talk again. Why on earth was she calling me?

"Uh... hello?" I answered.

I heard a soft sniffle, "Hello? Is this still Ian? Ian Miller?" Her voice was nasally.

"Yeah that's me, Hailee right?"

"Yeah, from highschool." She sounded like she had been crying, "I am so, so sorry for calling you so late. I... I'm sort of in an emergency."

"Oh, well you know I'm in New York, right?" I felt annoyance creep up, another thing to worry about. I wanted to enjoy this break.

"Yeah," she paused, "That's what I was hoping for."

I waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"Yeah, so, what's up? You okay?" I asked.

"I'm in New York. I'm so sorry to do this to you, but do you think I can come over to your place? To uh... stay the night... I can make do with the floor if anything. It's kind of a long story. I'm a little low on cash right now too..." She spoke softly, her words were a bit slurred.

I thought for a minute. I could sense desperation. I had no reason not to trust her, she had always been kind to me. But then again, that was four years ago. Who knows what kind of person she was now. It was a bother. And she sounded a little drunk. But... I guess it wouldn't hurt to help her for the night.

"Please." She started to break down, "I'm so sorry."

I had paused for a little too long.

"Sure, Hailee, sure." I quickly reassured her, "I'll send my address, let me know your eta."

She started to thank me profusely, and after a little more reassurance she hung up. I texted her my address and got out of bed. I knocked on Tom's door.

"Yeah!"

I opened the door to see him on his bed, phone in hand.

"Hey, sorry man, I just wanted to let you know I got an old friend coming over, she's gonna spend the night."

He gave me a sly smile, "You want me to go to Amber's?"

"Nah, dude, it's nothing like that, she's just gonna crash on the couch." I chuckled.

"Okay, well. Say the word and I'm gone. What's that? No, no babe I was talkin to Ian."

"Thanks bud." I smiled. He gave me a thumbs up and continued his conversation. I closed the door. He was a good dude and a good friend. He and Amber were flying to Washington State to stay with Amber's parents over the break. I looked at our living room. I'd say we were relatively clean, for guys' standards at least. I did a bit of tidying up and got my blanket. I did my best to make the couch comfortable. My phone vibrated from a text.

Omw.. Eta 15 min. Thank you so much again.

I texted back.

Of course! Let me know when you're out front.

For some reason I was anxious. Why was I anxious? I was just helping out an old friend. An old acquaintance, more like. I turned on Netflix to try and drown my thoughts out. I was wide awake now. After a few minutes my phone buzzed again.

Here.

I quickly got up and rode down the elevator. Be cool, I told myself. Just be cool. I made my way to the front door. As soon as I saw the girl on the other side of the glass my heart jumped a bit.

Her face was swollen from either the cold or the tears. Probably both. She waved at me. I smiled and waved back. Four years can really change someone. I don't remember her putting on any makeup before, but now she had just the right amount to accent her features perfectly. A tiny piercing sat on her nose that suited her well. Her long dark hair had been cropped to neck length and colored into a dirty blonde. She had on a pair of thin framed glasses and a Disney beanie. Her clothes had a nice style, not that I knew anything about fashion. What I did know was that she was... beautiful.

I buzzed her in and opened the door, "It's freezing! Come in"

I was caught off guard with a firm hug.

"I'm so sorry... Thank you..."

I hugged her back. Her shampoo smelled nice, but I could also smell alcohol. I could feel her starting to cry.

"Really, it's fine. It's good to see you again, Hailee."

We embraced for a few moments as she steadied her breath. I led her to the elevators. Other than the soft sniffling, it was a quiet ride up.

Getting off the elevator, I pointed and led her to my unit, "I'm over here."

I opened the door to see Tom putting on his shoes. He had a backpack on.

"Amber wants me to come over." He said with a smile.

I almost laughed. This freaking guy. "Oh, Hailee this is Tom, my housemate."

"Hello."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Hailee. You guys have a good night." He winked at me. I wanted to sock him. I think I saw her blush in my peripherals.

Tom left and we headed inside.

"Make yourself at home." I spoke gently. "Sorry about that, he means well."

She chuckled, "No worries."

She looked around and saw the couch I made up for her.

"Want some hot chocolate?" I asked.

"No, no, that's okay." She rubbed her hands.

"C'mon, it'll warm you up."

"Uhm..."

"I'll take that as a yes." I smiled at her.

"Thank you..." She fiddled with her hands before speaking, "Ian... I owe you an explanation."

I started to heat some milk on the stove. "No, it's fine. You look like you could use some rest."

"No, really I... I'm a little drunk right now, and this is just so not cool of me. I'm not the type of person to do..."

"Hailee," I spoke sternly, "it's okay."

"If there was anyone else..."

"Hailee."

She didn't respond. She looked out the window for a moment before burying her head in her hands. Tears started flowing. I grabbed some tissues and quickly walked over to give her a hug. She leaned into my shoulder. We stood there for a bit. I never know what to say in these situations. Thankfully, Hailee mellowed out as the milk started to steam.

"Sorry." I said gently.

"Yeah." She whispered.

I let her go, walked over, and put two drinks together as she sat down on the couch. I had about a million thoughts in my head, but one stuck out above the others. She needed a friend. I could be that friend.

"Keep in touch with anyone from Harper?" Maybe taking her mind off whatever she was dealing with might help.

"Not really. I talk to Jane every now and then. Finn and Amy sometimes. You?"

"Yeah, not really. Kind of alone out here. Remember John Dalecki?"

"Uh... the dude with the mullet?" She had a cute smile. Her nose crinkled when she did.

I laughed, "Yeah, yeah, always wore overalls? He goes to school with me. Never really talk to him though. Interesting dude. But yeah I lost contact with basically everyone else. The distance does that I guess. Just me and good ol' Johnny now."

She let out a small laugh. I don't remember her laugh being so musical.

I walked over with two cups, sat next to her, and handed her one.

"Thank you." We both took a sip.

"Damn dude. 10/10."

"I'm honored." I bowed my head.

She chuckled.

"So, what brings you to New York?" I said, taking another sip.

Her smile faded. She looked down at her cup for a bit. "I came out here to live with my boyfr... Ex. Ex-boyfriend. He sorta... cheated on me. Today."

My heart sank, "I'm so sorry. We don't have to talk about it."

"No, it's okay."

Silence. I didn't want to pry.

"It's just embarrassing." Her voice started to quiver. "I made a big show for my parents. Telling them I want to start a new life in New York. Telling them Max and I would take on the world. His family is out here, so I felt safe. I moved out here with complete faith in him. In us. I was so excited. It was always my dream to live here. Two weeks after moving I caught him sucking face with a girl at a party. He didn't see me. I couldn't confront him, so I ran. And here we are."

I was at a loss for words.

"You think you know someone. A year together and you feel like you know everything about them." She sighed. "I guess that's not that long. But I'm starting to realize that it might have been a little less of me wanting to live with Max and a little more of me wanting to start a life here. He just gave me the opportunity."

I just sat there, feeling useless. I wanted to empathize, but I've only had one serious relationship, and we ended amicably.

She took a deep breath. "I don't have any other friends out here. Everyone I knew, I knew through Max. And no way in hell I'm going back to Cali. Not after everything I pulled."

"Your parents would take you back in a heartbeat." I offered.

"How could I face them again after being so cold? I made my feelings pretty clear." Tears started streaming down again. "How could I be so stupid..."

"You're not stupid. You're strong, and brave. It's not your fault when others let you down." I looked out at the city. "You'll be fine, Hailee. I can tell you're tough."

It was quiet for a bit. Her breath steadied after a while.

"Thank you." She put down her cup and took off her beanie to ruffle her hair.

After some more silence I thought it best to get her mind back onto something else. "You, uh... went to a Cal State right?"

"Yeah, Pomona. Graduated last year."

"Dang, finished in three years huh? What'd you study?"

"Business. Pretty boring, but fast tracking kept me busy." She set her cup down.

"I bet, that's pretty impressive."

"Thanks, it was rough." she chuckled.

"Tom's business too. We both got a semester left."

"Oh nice! And you're studying..."

"UX design." I set my cup down too.

"Oh cool! That's like web design right?"

"Pretty much. Little bit of coding, little bit of graphic design, stuff like that." It was probably best not to bore her with this.

She nodded.

"So you looking for a job out here?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, I was..." she thought for a moment, "All my potential connections were all through Max."

She really did put all her faith in him.

"Well, I'm sure he would offer to keep business and personal separate. Especially after what he did."

She looked down at the coffee table. "I don't know if I want his help anymore."

I paused. Everything in me wanted to help her. She could use someone in her corner.

"Tom's got some connections. His family's from here. I could ask him for a favor, maybe."

She didn't look up. She didn't speak.

"Just a thought." I hope she didn't take it as pity.

"That's really sweet... but you barely know me... we barely even talked in highschool", she spoke softly.

"Well, that's not true. We had that group project in Henderson's class. That presentation?" I chuckled.

She lit up, "Oh my... I totally forgot about that!" she smiled, "If I recall, I did like ninety percent of the work?"

Her smile gave me relief. "Excuse me, I made the shit outta those index cards."

"You just copied what I wrote in my notebook! Y'all were absolutely hopeless without me." she said jokingly. Her laugh was beautiful.

"Sure, sure."

That opened up a flow of conversation. It was nice, catching up on our lives. We talked about old highschool stories and rumors, where old friends were now. We talked about how she went through a few relationships in college, how a mutual friend introduced her to Max. She talked about her little sister Kimmy, who I remembered as a freshman during our last year. I told her about Heather, how she was my only ex. I talked about the city, giving her recommendations on all the best places to eat and drink. She told me about her travels, how she loved her trips to Japan and New Zealand, and I responded talking about my trips to Iceland and France.

Never before had I wanted a conversation to last forever. There was magic in her voice, it was the perfect union of husky and silky. Her laugh made my heart jump every time. Conversing was so easy, she made me feel heard and interesting. It made me regret not talking to her more often before.

"Highschool seems like a lifetime ago." I said.

"It does, doesn't it? Time moves quickly."

We sat in silence for another moment until she spoke, "But I don't think I want you to bother Tom. I just need to figure some things out."

"I understand." I wanted to be careful, she was vulnerable, and probably had a million things racing through her mind. I could only offer support.

"This couch is yours til you do." I gave her a reassuring smile.

She looked at me and smiled back. I smiled back and looked out the window. This was nice. It felt good to help someone in need. And it felt good to see Hailee smile. I skimmed my eyes across the city skyline. This place was always full of surprises. I've had plenty of bad, and a few good. This was one of the nicer ones. We just sat there for a few slow minutes.

I felt Hailee's head lean on my shoulder. I felt warmth on my thigh. I looked down to see a hand. Electricity shot up my body. Seeing me not responding to it, she slowly moved her hand up. My hand reacted and grabbed her wrist.

"Hailee." I mumbled, "You're still drunk."

"I'm not... It's okay..." she whispered.

I paused for a second. I wanted it, there was no question. But a flash of clarity overcame my emotion. She was alone and vulnerable. She needed rest and sobriety, not empty actions she would come to regret later. It took everything in me to come to this resolution, all while holding her wrist. She didn't fight me. I hoped this clarity was hitting her too.

"You should rest." I said gently as I set her arm down on her lap. As soon as I let go her hand came back up across my jaw and pulled me in. Our lips met.

My mind went blank as everything else in the room vanished. I closed my eyes. Hailee slid her hand to the back of my neck and trapped me in her embrace. Our foreheads met as our lips parted, her hand still holding me firm, making sure I couldn't pull back. I wouldn't if I could. But I should. She climbed onto my lap. My heart raced as the warmth of her body covered me. I opened my eyes to see hers locked onto mine. Her glasses were fogging around the edges. She brought her hand up to my cheek as I whispered her name.

She had a slight smile but I could sense the sadness and confusion behind them. This was wrong. Not all of it, just the timing. It was too sudden, too haphazard. As much as my emotions wanted this my brain kept reminding me that this could get messy. I should stop this here. I need to stop this here.

Before I could say anything within a split second her expression changed from calm to horrified. Her hands shot up to cover her mouth and she let out a loud gag. Oh shit. Another gag, and I felt warm fluid on my chest. No words were needed. Both of us jumped up and practically tumbled to the bathroom. She fell on the toilet and spilled everything into it. I looked down and saw some of it on my chest. Not wanting to embarrass her, I took my shirt off and threw it in the laundry. Grabbing another shirt from my room, I rushed over back to her. She puked again as I came in. She had started crying. I flushed the water and started to rub and pat her back. A few minutes passed by while she gagged every few seconds. It looked like she was done. The tears overcame her. Seeing someone so wonderful break down like this was tough. I felt terrible only because I knew she felt terrible. I wanted to tell her that everything was okay, but I couldn't find the words.

We stayed there for what seemed like forever. Just the sound of her sniffles breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry..." she trembled.

"It's okay, honest," I so wanted to reassure her, "we've all been there."

"I'm sorry." Her words sounded so broken.

I stayed silent. I wanted for her to know that it was okay. With everything that she went through tonight, I didn't want her worrying about being a burden on me. Because she wasn't. A few more moments passed before I spoke.

"I had a crush on you in high school." I froze after saying it, questioning my choice of words.

"What?" She chuckled, confused.

"I thought you were beautiful."

I could see a smile through her tears. She spit into the water.

"I just... destroyed your bathroom." She almost laughed, breathing heavily.

I laughed. "It's fine, really. It happens."

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm not usually like this. I downed like three shots on my way out after seeing Max... you know."

"Hey, no judgement here. I have similar stories of my own."

"I'd like to hear them sometime," she smiled, "You can offset some of this humiliation for me."

I chuckled.

Silence.

"What about now?" She asked.

"Huh?"

She didn't reply.

"What about now?" I pressed.

She laughed softly, "Do you still think I'm beautiful?"

I smiled. "Like, right now? Over my toilet?"

We both broke out in laughter. I felt her relax her shoulders.

"It's all part of my seduction." She spit into the water and laughed. "You must be so turned on right now."

"Totally." I smiled.

I got up to go grab a fresh towel, a t-shirt, and a pair of shorts. I came back to see her rinsing her mouth in the sink.

"Hey, just... if you want you can take a shower, you'll probably feel better."

She looked down at the items I offered. There was a bit of uncertainty.

"Just, if you want..." I emphasized.

She grabbed them slowly and smiled at me. "Thanks, that's really sweet."

I left, closing the door behind me. I heard the water turn on as I mindlessly opened some apps to browse, but I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. Granted, she wasn't in her right mind, but her doing that scrambled my brain. I opened up her instagram to see a bit of her life. Her recent pictures were with her friends, some with a guy, I assume Max. She seemed like such a happy person, it looked like she enjoyed her college years.

I set my phone down and lied back on my bed. My heart was pumping still. Her throwing up did nothing to dampen my erratic feelings. I could only see her eyes staring back at me. Was there affection in there? No, it was best not to get my hopes up. I tried to look at this objectively. With everything she went through she just needed someone to lean on, she was lonely and vulnerable. Me being a kind friend pushed her to reciprocate the kindness. She was confused, end of story.