Bittersweet

"I want you to kill me," he said.

I looked at him, expressionless, not sure if he was serious. After a year of knowing him, I still had trouble reading him at times. Sometimes he would say the most outrageous things just to entertain himself with my extreme gullibility.

"I'm serious. I've had enough. The wife and I are...well, you know. Work sucks, and I am just...tired. I want you to kill me," he said without blinking.

"And how do you propose I do that?" I asked matter-of-factly. I still figured he was kidding.

"I want you to fuck me," he said.

"Ex-fuckin-scuse me? How the hell would me fucking you... kill you?" I was getting pissed.

"Well...I haven't exactly been honest with you..." he said.

Fucking great. Just what I needed was another liar in my life. He went on to tell me that the reason he and his wife hadn't had sex in over a year, the reason his marriage was on his last legs, and the reason he was always sick was because he had a heart condition. He got all technical explaining things and I zoned out. I replayed all of our conversations in my head. I had been wanting him, needing him, since the first days we began talking. His wife wasn't taking care of him, why shouldn't I? It would have been perfect. No strings, no heart break, no clingy, jealous boyfriend...just a fuck buddy that I not only trusted but was wildly attracted to.

But...

Now this.

I was angry that he had lied to me. I was sad to think that the fun I wanted from him would mean I would never see him again. I was also still being cautious, not sure if he was just pulling my leg. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I held back as much as I could. He knew though. He always knew. He came over and hugged me.

"Hush, My Kitten. I know your thoughts are going wild. I want you to think about it. We'll talk tomorrow. I have to go for now," he said. He kissed my forehead and the tears slid down my cheeks as I looked up to him. My perfect friend, the only one I trusted and could tell everything, wanted me to put him in a better place by giving him something we both wanted and needed: an Earth shattering, bone rattling orgasm that would put any man in the grave, but specially him.

Fuck.

I laid there hour after hour, minute after minute. I cried, I laughed, I did shots of tequila just to try to calm myself. I sat on the porch in the rain and read through all of our little messages that meant the most to me. I realized that I had done him the biggest disservice one friend can do to another. I didn't see how badly he was hurting behind his tough exterior. I knew he was different with me. he was always nicer to me than I had seen him be with other people. He was, to put it gently, an ass to most people especially people he didn't know. I also knew that he hid things from me to some extent, but he was married. I had to expect him to shield me from some things. But I couldn't help but think I had let him down. It was no longer him that I was angry at, it was myself.

I made my decision.

Every evening after work, he made a point to stop by my place before going home. He had a key and the ability to come and go as he pleased whether I was home or not. My place was his safe place. He knew I had nothing but open arms for him. Mi casa, Su casa. I never felt the need to entertain him. He belonged there. This evening was different.

When he walked in, I was fresh from the bath and smelled of a light vanilla. My red hair was in long ringlets and waves. I think it looked prettier than it ever had when he had seen me. I wore a cute little white sundress with pink flowers adorning it here and there in their own low key, dainty kind of way. The dress flowed in the right places, and it hugged in the right places. I felt like a little girl. His little girl.

He stood in the doorway for a second and just stared. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes before he closed the door behind him. He came to me and held me in his arms tighter and sweeter than he ever had. I didn't think it was possible. He was always so good to me. I had to be strong. I couldn't break down.

His hands moved from my back, along my arms, and up to my wrists. He grasped them firmly and I knew the rest of the night would be perfect. He kept his lips on mine, kissing and sucking on my tongue as he slowly moved me back towards the wall. When there was no more room to move, he pinned my wrists above my head with one hand making my back arch towards him. His other hand went to my breasts. They looked so ripe and delicious jutting towards him, flowing over the top of my pretty little dress. His mouth followed my neckline down to my nipples. He had pulled my dress top down with his perfect perfect fingers in anticipation of his lips wanting to follow.

I had no words. He had taken my breath away with the grasp of my wrists that he still had a hold on. I could barely breathe. When he finally let go, my arms came down to cradle his head as he suckled my breasts before making his way back up my neck to my lips. He bent just slightly and moved his hands under my ass to lift me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him tightly. I wanted so badly to be one with him right at that moment.

"I'm going to let you down, but don't think you're going anywhere, My Love," he growled.

He slowly slid me from his waist back down the wall till I was standing on my toes. He grabbed my bicep and whipped me around until I was chest to the wall, pinned me with his body, lifted my skirt, and pulled my panties to the side. His fingers rubbed the length of my slit, front to back, as he spread my wetness on my lips and clit. I couldn't help but be aroused. A moan escaped my lips and he laughed. He rubbed my clit faster, slower, back and forth until I was ready to climb the wall. I tried reaching for him, but couldn't. With his arm wrapped around me, he continued rubbing my clit as his other hand came from behind and slowly he pushed a finger into my sopping wet pussy. My whole body began to shake. I needed him so badly. He moved that finger in circles making a wet, slippery sound inside of me. When he slipped another finger in, I felt my pussy tighten up on him and he moaned.

"You are going to feel so good on my cock, Kitten."

He fucked my pussy with his fingers as he kept me pinned against the wall. I could feel my wetness soaking the panties that were pulled to the side and slowly dripping down my thigh. When he pushed yet another finger so slowly into my ass, I came so hard I could barely stand. He held me up as he continued finger fucking my ass and pussy until my waves of pleasure subsided. When I finally slowed down, he scooped me up and took me to the bedroom.

For hours he licked me, pet me, rubbed and sucked on me. He made me cum and he made me squirt time and time again. Each time, he would soothe and calm me with his tongue. Not once in those hours did he let me suck on him. Not once did he slide his cock into my pussy though I begged for it like a little girl. He looked so amazing naked and hard, precum glistening on his cock. He was all I had wanted from day one.

Finally, the time had come. He laid atop of me, kissing me sweetly and looking in my eyes. Slowly he slid his cock deep inside of me, a moan escaped his lips as he kept his eyes locked on mine. At that moment, I couldn't have loved him more. He made love to me for quite some time before turning me over to fuck me hardcore. I was so afraid he would leave this world while he was behind me, but he held on. He fucked me so hard, I was afraid the neighbors would call the cops from my screams. Ass, pussy, ass, pussy. He pummeled me till I knew I would be throbbing yet numb for days. I couldn't stop cumming for him. It was like he released everything within me that had been pent up for so many years, especially this last year waiting for him.

After one more quivering, screaming orgasm, he laid down beside me.

"Ride me so I can suck on your tits and look into those beautiful eyes, Love."

I climbed aboard and rode him slowly while he sucked on my nipples and squeezed by breasts. I could feel him growing just a little more as I tightened on his cock. I could feel him throbbing. I could feel every ridge, every vein. I could feel that perfect, smooth head deep inside me. But mostly, with my hand on his chest, I could feel his heart changing pace.

"I'm going to cum baby, ride me harder. Take me to the end!"

Tears were running down my cheeks and landing on his chest and abs as I fucked him hard, my tits swinging in his face, my eyes never leaving his. I could feel his body tightening and see not only pleasure but pain on his face. I couldn't stop. I was so close to that final Earth shattering orgasm that the demon inside me took over. I rode him even harder as we screamed and moaned together. He thrust his hips up into me putting his cock where it hadn't touched before and with that we both came in waves. I watched as tears came to his eyes and he whispered, "I love you."

With that, he was gone. I collapsed on top of him still gripping him with my raw and well fucked pussy. I held him in my arms as I kissed his lips.

"Goodbye my friend... I love you...goodbye."

When finally I climbed off of him, I covered him with the bed sheet and called 911. For the next couple hours, I answered questions as my friend was taken away by a silent van. That was the last I saw of him. I had enough respect not to go to the funeral. I could never face his wife whether she knew or not, and I didn't want to know if I had broken her heart.

Today, I got a card in the mail. On the outside was a little bluebird on a branch. Inside were only the words, "Thank you, you set me free. I know he is happy now."

I could only hope that he was.