Just a Crush

I would like to thank everyone that took the time to read my first chapter. I heard wonderful feedback. To answer a lot of the same questions I received. No this is not an actual story, as much as I myself would like it to be also. All characters and places were made up with my imagination. I know my grammar could be improved. I'm trying, so bear with me and enjoy! Thanks again, all comments and constructive criticism are welcome.

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School the next week was a blur to me. Travis made attempts to talk to me about what had happened that night at the Drive-In whenever he could. I told him repeatedly everything was fine, and that if it wasn't, my brothers would have talked to him way before he had a chance to talk to me. He offered to take me to a movie but I reclined saying I was busy with school work. It was partly true, but I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't go on a date with him knowing all I can think about is Evan and our kiss.

Here I was on a Saturday doing school work that wasn't due for weeks. I was in my room the whole week for that matter, my books consuming me. I don't think my brothers thought of anything different. It wasn't out of the ordinary for me to be holed up in my room for periods of time, trying to get school work done. So here I was once again trying to get my mind anywhere but on Evan Bianchi. I kept reading the same paragraph over and over again trying to understand what it was saying every time. But all I could think about was Evan. Frustrated I closed the book, leaned back on my bed, and massaged my temples.

I haven't spoken to him or even seen him for that matter since I left him confused at my front door a whole week ago. It has only been a week? By the way the week went by it had seemed longer than that, maybe even a month. I would look for his truck everyday passing his house after school. I don't know if it was out of habit or if I wanted to run into him and finally face what happened between us.

The kiss, it was more than I ever expected from Evan. I often thought about what it would be like between him and me, but I never expected that. My brain turned to mush, and if he had encouraged anything more at that moment, I probably would have let him. I've never not been in control of my own body. I don't know whether that scared me or excited me more. At the time, all I wanted was him and how his actions were as if all he wanted was me. But now I couldn't help but to think of all the other girls who have had the pleasure of his lips on theirs. Did he kiss them like he kissed me? His kiss was passionate and aggressive, as if he was trying to tell me something words couldn't. But what? He has never hinted to me of any feelings towards me other than a friend or another protective older brother. I couldn't just sit here all day and do this to myself again. I wanted answers, and Evan was going to give them to me. I don't care if he avoided me like the plague all week. Soon enough my brothers, even Mr. Bianchi, will notice something is up if I don't confront this sooner or later. I would rather talk to Evan than deal with my brothers any day. I got dressed and pulled my hair up into a pony tail.

As I headed down stairs I heard my brothers opening up cabinets in the kitchen. I sat down at one of the stools at the island and watched them move about. As they laid contents out to make a sandwich, I picked up a piece of bread and started picking at the crust little by little and placing it in my mouth.

"So what are you guys getting into tonight?" I said in between taking bites of the almost gone piece of bread I had.

"Cara and I are probably going to head over to Mike's and see what they are getting into." Trevor answered me while spreading mayo on a slice of bread.

I could tell by the way my brothers were acting towards me, nothing was ever said about my drinking the Saturday before. Not even by Cara, I think she knew that by the way Evan dragged me off, I had already gotten an ear full and didn't want to mention it to my brother.

"Yea, she texted me too but I didn't really feel up to it. Let me know what you guys end up doing though, maybe I will swing by later." I replied to Trevor.

I turned to Mark who was now stuffing his face with the sandwich he made. With a grossed out look on my face I asked him his plans.

"I'm taking Susie out. I met her at the Drive-In. She's Sara's Cousin." He said with his mouth full.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one Mom taught manners to." I said as I leaned over the island grabbing a napkin. I motioned to Mark to take it and wipe up the mayo that stuck to both corners of his mouth.

He took the napkin from my hand, wiped his mouth, and swallowed the remaining contents. "Why? What are you doing tonight?"

Glancing out the bay window in the living room, I could see that Evan's truck wasn't in his driveway. He is probably at the shop. I overheard Mark talking to Trevor during the week, how Evan has been in a mood all week and is non-stop working in the garage. He had said something about Sara getting to him again because he had been that way since he left them two at the Drive-In. Confirming that Evan hadn't said anything to my brother about my drinking and taking me home. But could his mood be because of me? Or was it an argument that surfaced between him and Sara from having to take me home and leave her there? Another question I had set in my mind to ask Evan when I see him.

I looked back at Mark, "You think you could drop Trevor off and I can take the car tonight? Steph and I were thinking about going and seeing that new Horror film they have out at the cinema."

I came up with the lie quickly knowing that my brothers knew Steph didn't drive. I needed the car to go to the shop and confront Evan. But giving them that information would only lead to them suspecting something was up.

Before Mark could give me 21 questions about what time, how late I would be, and blah blah blah. Trevor interrupted, "I can get a ride home from somebody, and I always get the car on the weekends. You can drop me off before your date with Susie." He said looking at Mark.

Although they were both protective, Trevor knew when I needed a break. Mark would have no problem if all I ever knew were books. Mark loved me, but he just didn't understand that I was a person and I needed social interactions just like everybody else. He couldn't beat up every boy that talked to me. I think the way he treated girls when he was in high school all came down and affected me. He knew how boys could be, but instead of trusting the fact his little sister could take care of herself, he rather block the world.

I smiled at Trevor. In between taking a bite out of his own sandwich, he grinned back at me knowing I was happy he saved me from Marks third degree.

"I guess I could do that, but if you are going to stay at Steph's text me and let me know." Mark said to me sternly.

I nodded my consent and walked on the other side of the island, giving them both a quick hug before I went upstairs.

I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls or texts. I had a text from Travis asking if we could talk. I know that I had been ignoring him all week and after I refused his movie date he looked a little upset. I wasn't ignoring him because I didn't like him. Apart of me did, not only as a friend, but he always treated me nice. But I couldn't talk to him until I cleared whatever it was between Evan and me up, it wouldn't be fair to Travis. He deserved to have a girl's undivided attention and as much as I wish I could be that girl I had to follow my heart when it came to Evan. I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

I called Steph to let her know my plans. She had known for years my infatuation with Evan and seemed thrilled to be taking the "plunge" as she would say. She told me that she had a project that was due anyways and that if I did end up wanting to stay the night there that she would love to hear all the details. I told her that I would let her know and thanked her before I got off the phone.

By the time I got out of the shower and ready my brothers were already gone. I grabbed the keys and headed outside. The sun was almost set, leaving clouds in bright purples and reds, almost in remembrance that it once was there. When we were little, Evan and I would run to the cliff when others were being called in to have supper and watch the sunset. We would call it our place because only each other would enjoy those moments like we would. In a way I think Evan always had a part of my heart. He understood me without me having to say a word, I was never complicated in his eyes. Sure he teased me right along with my brothers and would often make me cry, followed by a Mr. Bianchi giving a lecture to all the boys on why they need to be nice to me. But we have moments that are just ours. It's like he always knew what to say or do whether it was to make me angry or happy. As we got older our time together became less and less, but I always valued our memories none the less. As I got older my feelings towards him only continued to grow and a part of me hurt every time I would see him with another girl, only to be relieved that it only lasted a week if not more every time.

As I drove towards the shop I couldn't help but to think of what I wanted to say to him let alone what I wanted out of it. What exactly did I want to be to Evan? I wanted to matter I knew that much but knowing his history with girls I know he would grow tired of me. Then what would happen? Would he stop coming around? Will his relationship with my brothers be affected? I couldn't ever lose Evan all together. I decided I was going to tell him not to worry, it wasn't a big deal. That everything could go back to normal and my brothers didn't have to know about any of it.

I pulled up to the shop and before I lost all nerve to walk in there, I shut the door just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. I could tell by the lack of cars in the lot he was the only one there, with his blue truck sticking out like a sore thumb. I opened the door to go inside the garage and let it slam shut behind me. I jumped at the noise and shortly I heard a radio being lowered.

"Hello." I fidgeted with my hands as I looked around only to see him turn the radio back up and lower his upper body into a car. I knew he knew it was me and figured that if he ignored me I would just go away. I wasn't, I was determined to speak my mind even if I didn't get any answers in return.

Instead of nervousness overcoming me like it did on the drive here, I became angry. I stomped my way over finally taking place right beside him.

"I don't know what your problem is. First you drag me home, and then you kiss ME. Then you proceed to ignore ME. I don't get it." It all came out in a ramble and a rant.

He placed the tool that was in his hand on the bench next to him. Grabbing a rag he turned to me slowly.

"Are you done?" He could tell by the way I was looking at him I had way more to say what was on my mind.

"No I'm not done! You can't just go kissing anybody you want to, I have feelings too, and for you to go and just confuse me isn't fair. I'm not just some girl you can do that to Evan! "

I calmed as soon as the words left my mouth. It felt good to say what was on my mind. He kept his cool the whole time. Looking amused almost as if he was impressed he could get me that angry.

"I think you're the one that ran away from the situation. So I gave you some time to think and come to me." Evan said stiffly. I wasn't use to him showing no emotion when he talked to me.

"I mean for fucks sake Evan were you jealous? Jealous that not every girl swoons over your every move? Am I not an exception? You left your date with Sara, for what? To ruin mine?"

I was angry and I was trying to anger him. To get something, anything from him other than a flat answer.

It worked, Evan threw the rag on the engine and started walking towards me. His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was holding back from saying something to me. With every step he took forward I heard my heart thump. I didn't budge, I stuck my chin up, and looked right up into his green eyes. He was so close I could swear he heard my heart beating. I almost lost my train of thought as he became nearer. Last time he was this close his lips were on mine and I couldn't help but glance at them in remembrance.

"You're not like every girl Natty, that's the problem." He said truthfully.

"I don't want to talk about this here, come on let's get out of here." He said grabbing my hand leading me towards his truck.

I didn't say anything, I let him lead me without saying another word as we hopped in the truck and made our way towards his house. I could tell his guard was coming down, I think that's why I went with him without any hesitation. We walked inside the dark house, him going before me, turning lights on his way towards the kitchen. Mr. Bianchi and Angie were gone for the weekend. Before it starts to snow they usually spend their weekends at their cabin whenever they could. With Evan being back at the shop it wasn't as busy and they used that time to get away. I followed him and sat at a chair putting my elbows up on the island. Evan grabbed two sodas from the fridge and placed one in front of me.

"I don't know why I didn't like that Travis boy touching you, I just didn't. You were drunk on top of it...."

I stopped him "I wasn't drunk."

"Okay but you smelled like it and then I thought he had forced it. But when you had gotten so angry at me I was almost mad that you let him kiss you, that you wanted him to kiss you. When we got home and we were standing there. I don't know why what happened, happened, it just did."

His words were rambled, I could tell he was frustrated that he couldn't quite clearly get out exactly what he wanted to say. But I knew what he was saying, he was confused about what that kiss meant just as much as I was. But at the same time it felt right. I looked at him with a blank expression. I think he thought I was still angry by the way he looked down at his hands where they were holding the can of soda. I couldn't trust my voice and before I lost the nerve I walked over to the side where he was standing. At that moment I knew I wanted Evan, even if I just became a fling to him. I had to give us a shot. I knew by his words that that kiss meant something to him too. He looked at me surprised and before he could even say another word I stood on my tip toes, wrapped my arms around his neck to lower his head towards mine, and brought my lips to his. Just like his lips spoke to me a week ago, I wanted mine to speak for themselves also. I was pleased to feel him wasting no time in kissing me back. Everywhere he touched, my body was on fire. I started roaming my hands up his shirt to feel his taut muscles. He grabbed my hands and without breaking our kiss he lifted me up on the counter in front of him. With him in between my legs I couldn't help but to feel moisture gather and a warm pressure build inside me.

His lips were demanding, he broke the kiss only to nip at my bottom lip and travel down to my neck. I grabbed the hair at the base of his neck and tilted my head to the side so he could have better access. He brought his lips back to my mouth and started giving me soft kisses as he travelled his hands under my shirt and towards my bra. I raised my hands in the air as a motion for him to remove my shirt. He did. I'm not usually this bold, but all I wanted was Evan and his hands to be on me. He gave me a quick peck before placing his hands at my clasp and unhooking my bra. He leaned back as if telling me I would have to be the one to take off my bra completely. No one has ever seen my bare chest, and although I was nervous, I'm glad it was Evan. By the way Evan was looking at me I could tell he wished my hands weren't cupping my bra just as much as I did. I took each strap off first all the while holding one hand up so that my bra was still covering my breasts. Finally letting the bra come completely down in one hand and fall to the floor beside us. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful thing that has ever sat on top of his counter. It encouraged me to tug at his shirt and lift it up letting him be the one to pull it over his head.

As soon as his shirt hit the ground his lips were on mine again. Trailing back down, he went farther and was placing soft kisses in between my breasts. Placing his hands on my butt he pulled me closer to the edge. I closed my eyes enjoying his mouth on my skin as he placed his whole mouth on one of my nipples while his other hand rubbed and tweaked the other. I've played with my nipples on my own but nothing ever came close to what Evan was demonstrating on me now. My panties were soaked, I was sure of it. I kept grinding my hips into his pelvis liking the friction it was creating. As if sensing I was becoming more anxious, he picked me up, and started walking us towards his room with my legs wrapped around his torso.

He placed me in the center and lay next to me with his head in his hand. I grabbed the ponytail that was in my hair and put the band around my wrist letting my hair sprawl out as I sat mocking his position next to him. He looked at me placing his hand to my cheek. From my cheek to my chest, his hand traveled down until it reached the button on my jeans. He undid the button effortlessly and slowly zipped the zipper down. He looked at me questioning, as if to give him an answer to further his movements I leaned over and kissed him as if to encourage his actions. He hooked his hand inside the side of my jeans as if trying to tug them off. I decided to help him and discarded them on the side of the bed. I moved closer hooking my leg so that it lay on top of his. He smelled manly, he smelled like Evan, and it only added to my senses of being aroused. He grabbed my leg and placed it back to join my other. With an upset whimper I realized he did so, so he could remove his own jeans. Here I was, with Evan, in his room with nothing but our underwear on. It wasn't weird or awkward. It was like I was always supposed to be there, like that, with him. It just felt right.

He grabbed my leg hooking it back over his and pulled me closer so that my mound was greeted by his hardness. I loved the fact he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. His erect member proving his need for me, I trailed my hands down and grabbed what was between us. He took a sharp intake of breath and lazily trailed his hand right below my butt on my thigh. I pulled his boxers down and wrapped my hand around the soft skin, slowly stroking up and down. He grabbed my hand and breathing heavily he whispered.

"You're going to be the death of me."

Liking the control I had over him I begin to nip at his neck. Only for him to roll me over, his thigh placed in between my mound, and him hovered over me on his elbows. My hair pooled around me and he took a strand and twirled it in his fingers. I grabbed his face and placed it closer to mine as I let my lips sweetly caress his. He trailed a hand down to where my panties were covering my mound and slowly rubbed the outside up and down.

He spoke into my lips, "Your panties are soaked." Before hooking them with his thumb and pulling them off as I bent me knees to help.

He placed his hand once again on my now bare mound and continued his stroking. Instinctively I began pushing my hips up to meet his hand. As if answering me, he pushed a finger further into my lips spreading my moisture around. I wanted more and I began to whimper. He slowly inserted a finger and I shuddered. He stopped his movements, finger still inside, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.

"Are you still a virgin."

Moving his finger as to prove his point. It was more of a statement than a question. He knew with the brothers I had, I had to be. But my actions tonight were nothing of a shy virgin. I blushed diverting my eyes away from his.