Love Letter to a Friend

I don't know if I'll ever give this to you. This has been circling around inside my head for quite sometime now. It seems to always be in the back of my mind, you always seem to be in the back of my mind.

I'm wondering how often you think of me; if I just pop into your thoughts the way you do with mine, if you fantasize about me, about us. Despite what I've said part of me is curious about what it would feel like to be in your arms; to taste your kiss, to feel you hands on me.

What if something were to happen? What if after I realized how much I loved my other half…would you be able to be just friends after a kiss, a touch. Would these be warm and soothing like the sound of your voice? Or would it be like chain lightning threading its way between our bodies.

I like the way I feel when I'm with you. It's been so long since any one has said the things that you have said to me. You make me feel important, sexy, wanted. I know that I'm loved, but I don't feel beloved by my other half. Does that make sense?

I don't know you. Not totally. But in the short time that I have known you I've come to care about you very much. I love the sound of your voice, so soothing. Your sense of humour keeps me on my toes too. You don't judge me for the decisions I've had to make in my life. I like that you are open with me; you instill trust and I know I can tell you just about anything. In your words, we just click.

You once asked me if I ever had any regrets. Well I do now. I regret that I can't give you what you deserve, that if I were to even test the waters I would end up breaking a promise that I had made to myself when I was younger. Never cause unnecessary pain to those who are my heart.

And that would be the risk I would be taking. I don't think I could bear to hurt you, and it would hurt me if I were to lose what I have with you now.

It's a risk I'm not willing to take, and I'm sorry for it.

Your Friend