This is my submission to the
Winter Holidays Contest
. It is a long build-up to consummation. Please enjoy and Merry Christmas!
*
She knew it was over. Her dream to re-establish her opera career crashed to the stage floor in that one moment, and she knew it! She waited in the wings as the curtain fell to thunderous applause with the rest of the cast members gathered to take their bows.
Joy Harrison prepared for her curtain call, to step out then walk on the stage alone and take a deep curtsy. She blushed, embarrassed to take a bow for such a flawed performance. Their audience paid to hear Mozart's "Magic Flute" and they instead received a watered down version, at least from her part.
The first to take their curtain calls were the smaller roles. The audience enthusiastically applauded each singer until her turn.
The strapping and ruggedly handsome baritone named Benjamin Baylor whose deep resonant voice thrilled her to her toes, took his bow as "Papageno", along with an adorable, energetic soprano, Sandra Bastion, who sang the small part of "Papagena". Each received huge applause and cries of 'Bravo' and 'Brava'!
Her apprehension and humiliation grew as her own turn grew near. At last, she took the stage and the spotlight hit her. She expected the applause to die to almost nothing but it continued at deafening decibels. The crowd was being magnanimous! She blew her aria plain and simple! And not just any aria, she blew Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's best and perhaps most famous, the "Queen of Night" aria!
The director and the orchestra even lowered the key for her since she struggled in the original D minor, but she still muffed the highest note. Perhaps the audience didn't notice, but Joy did and that it meant her dream of revitalizing her opera career after a 25-year absence would remain just that... a dream.
For too long, her voice sat idle, except to sing for family and friends, annual Christmas and Easter concerts and occasionally as a soloist with a symphony.
But singing a performance or two as opposed to a full schedule Tuesday through Saturday nights plus 2 matinees on the weekend was another matter, especially when singing a technically strenuous role like the 'Queen of Night' with its two octave range and rapid arpeggios in the upper register.
Joy took her bows and smiled with appreciation but tears gathered in her eyes with a heavy heart.
Behind her the lead tenor, Sean Alfred who sang 'Tamino' wonderfully, followed by 'Pamina', sung by a beautiful young soprano named Jennifer Albin each received much deserved thunderous ovations which continued unabated as the entire cast with the orchestra conductor took the stage.
"That's a wrap, everyone! Congratulations! Marvelous! ..... Marvelous!" The director, Gerard Pollock, clenched his hands in a victory fist above his head after the final curtain call.
"Cast after-party at Cabrelli's in half an hour," chimed Angela Cabrelli, the stage manager at the Hendersonville, New Jersey Opera House, "Everyone is welcome, please come!" Angela's family owned the classy restaurant, and generously supported the Opera.
Joy was obligated to go, though her heart wasn't in it at all. She felt humiliated. She wanted nothing more than to go home to bed and never wake up. But she was, at least for now, a professional, and would behave professionally in spite of her failure.
In her dressing room, she studied her face in the mirror. She started removing the heavy make up required by the harsh stage lights and gradually her own face appeared.
It was a good face, as a matter of fact, it was a beautiful face. She had always known and now at 52 she was blessed to have not lost much of the bloom of youth. She patted the underside of her chin where the skin of her neck showed little if any signs of aging. There were only a few laugh lines appearing at the corners of her eyes which were as big and bright blue as ever.
Her hair was as white as snow which only now was a little disappointing to her since so many now assumed she had aged into it. In reality her hair always had been white, she was born with stark white hair, and she always loved it. Her thick and luxuriant hair was one thing that always set her apart.
Tests showed that the anomaly in hair color was not albinism and thus her natural skin tones made her natural features look exotic. She was petite at 5 feet tall, and maintained her weight at 101 pounds except when she was pregnant. She cupped and positioned her perky breasts which, on her small frame were quite pleasing, judging by the attention she received from men since they arrived unexpectedly when she was 12. By the time she was in high school she had grown into an amazingly compact and well toned 34/24/34 body.
It all came down to good genes. Her mother still lived in Tacoma, Washington and at the age of 82 looked like she was in her sixties. She was energetic and vivacious and petite, like Joy.
Her mother was platinum blond before her hair turned to gray, but she looked as beautiful as ever. Joy's father was an amateur musician, playing the violin and guitar and sung community opera; she inherited her voice and love of music and opera from her dad.
"You decent?" came a familiar voice interrupting her retrospection with a small rap on her dressing room door.
"Come." called Joy. It was the voice of Leo Zappa her agent/manager. She had immediately recognized him, but she dreaded the conversation she must have now. Leo entered and smiled at her in his usual gentle way.
He wasn't the stereotypical agent. He was not brash or pushy, quite the opposite. His genius was that he was able to effectively sweet talk roles and opportunities for his clients.
He was no relation whatever to Frank Zappa though he liked to leave that impression without saying so, but he never tried to use his famous name or people's mistaken conclusions to his advantage in business dealings. He was a man of integrity.
When she called him after her husband died, and she finally recuperated from that ordeal, he told her he would gladly take her on. 'Once a client, always a client!" he told her. He, evidently, reviewed and updated her file as they talked.
Within 10 days he landed her a role in a summer series of Mozart light operas. They were produced by a small regional Opera company in upstate New York which in turn lead to her being offered this role in the 'Magic Flute' here in Hendersonville during the final weeks of August.
Leo pulled a chair around and straddled it, folded his arms over the back and laid his chin on his wrists and studied her without a word. She looked at her friend and agent. His black hair turned to gray and thinned considerably in the years since she first became one of his clients.
He was taller than her which wasn't difficult; She was barely 5 feet if she stretched extra tall, but he didn't stand any more than 5' 6" and his loss of hair made him appear even shorter. He had an 'Italian' looking face which was understandable since he was Italian.
The most striking and memorable thing about him was his smile and the expression in his eyes, he was a genuine and caring man who was one of the three men she trusted completely: her Dad, her husband, Thomas, and then there was Leo.
Her Dad and Thomas were gone but Leo was still there for her, and she loved him like a father.
Finally, he said, "How did it go?"
She began to cry then, "You heard it didn't you? I was awful! I totally blew the first of the arpeggios! Mozart is turning over in his grave!"
"It wasn't that bad."
Joy glared at him! He looked away not wanting her to see in his eyes that he was lying, a little anyway.
"I can't do it, Leo. I've let you down and hurt your reputation. You had to make commitments for me that I can't fulfill, I'm sorry. But I can't do it. I'm too old and my voice is too out of shape and I don't have the energy I had in my 20s. I can't do it." She wept in big sobs now, grieving the reality that so glaringly forced her to admit the loss of her dream.
Leo wanted to contradict her, but he knew it to be true. He warned her when she called that she was likely fighting the odds. True enough, many opera singers sang well into their sixties, and even their seventies, but they sang every day since their youth keeping their voice in top shape. They didn't take 20 years off to raise a family. She didn't have much of a chance.
"Look, Joy, I am aware you really wanted this I would say you gave it a hell of a shot. I can line up smaller roles for you, if you want, but I think these big parts are unrealistic for you at this late stage of your career. Opera, like sports, is for the young.
Joy sat quietly sobbing unable to stop the flow of tears. She cried for herself and she cried for the loss of her husband and now of her career.
"Joy," Leo said gently, "You're disappointed but you don't have to give up singing. Many professionals make a good living singing the smaller parts, which are, as you are aware, vital to telling the story, You may need to lower your expectations to a more realistic level."
Joy would typically be angry at his lack of confidence but she had to face facts, he was absolutely right! Until this evening she hadn't wanted to admit that fact to herself. But she wasn't sure she wanted to sing smaller roles. She looked at him and tried to smile.
"Leo you are a friend as well as an agent, I know you are trying to build me up but its no use, its done. I can't do it and I was a fool to try."
"Now there I have to strongly disagree with you," he almost scolded,"You never know if you can do something unless you try! You gave it your all, didn't you?
"Yes," Joy whimpered.
"Now you know. You won't always be wondering. Joy, you chose to have a happy life with the man you loved. You had two children who are successful and appear to be happy. You sang on the stage of several large market houses before you made that choice. You have had the best of both worlds, just not at the same time. Do you regret that decision?"
"No." She had her moments during her marriage but basically, no, she did not regret choosing her family over a career.
"For what its worth, Joy, you were the best young singer I ever signed. Had you chosen the career route, I'm certain you would have been a world-class artist singing in all the biggest and best houses on the globe. As far as I'm concerned you are still world-class." He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Joy put hers on top of his hand and gave a gentle pat.
"Thank you, Leo. You have always been a good friend and my biggest fan. Can you give me a few days to think and I'll call you with my decision?"
"Sure, call me. And, Joy, hold your head up when you go to the after-party, you've nothing to be ashamed about."
The party was predictable. People congratulated her and when she objected they blew off her denials. 'It was one of those things', 'Everyone makes mistakes' they said. But it wasn't just a mistake. Her voice refused to hit the high E6 above the top 'C' and she improvised to cover the failure, she instantly knew that her career was over...her voice could not endure the strenuous pace of a professional career! Her dream crashed at her feet in that moment.
When she got back to her hotel room, she wanted to crawl into bed. She would have liked to call her mom but the hour was too late, even in Tacoma, Washington where it was three hours behind. Tomorrow would be soon enough, what she needed was sleep.
2.
"Come home!" Her mother urged after hearing her story and listening to her sobbing. "Come home and stay with me while you sort out what to do next. Washington is beautiful in September and you need some time to think."
"I kind of hoped you would say that, I think I will take you up on your offer. Thank you, Mom. I'll be in touch with the flights and arrivals, 'kay?"
