Summer Revelations

Summers in Clewiston are the worst kind. The humidity makes the air feel thick enough to drown in. And the heat, oh the heat's enough to drive a person mad. Here all the gentle folks gather under their big gabled porches, sipping tea and wagging tongues like everybody's business is their own once the noontime sun hits.

Me, I'm never included in their socials. Being the son of a drunk and hateful man in a small town makes you the usual subject of such gatherings; not get you invited to one. And I'm long since too old to be pitied and petted as some poor little boy. Now I'm marked as troubled and dangerous without ever getting to prove to anybody just what kind of man I really am.

The only person that really didn't seem to think that I'm all that bad of course, is the one that makes me really nervous: Miss Carrie, the girl that lives at the end of the old gravel road. She always has a smile or a wave or something nice to say to me. It doesn't seem to matter to her that every time I stop to talk to her that the whole town starts talking, too. And even though it causes her trouble, and I know that it does, she's still always waiting there on the steps of her big front porch for me to walk on by.

I've often wondered what her motive was. Why she smiled so sweetly or her big eyes got so warm and bright the moment I sat down to rest for a moment or two beside her.. Did she want me maybe? Was she waiting for me to be the man that everybody always seemed to think that I was?

As many times as I tried, I just can't picture myself grabbing her roughly and forcing her to submit to me. Yet I can imagine the taste of her kisses so clearly, the way her skin would feel, or what it would be like to enter her for the first time. Some part of me feels guilty about it every time I walk up to her- that she might be able to see those thoughts written out across my face as plain as day.

Or was she just being nice to me? Would that be so bad, for someone to just want to be nice to me for once? Thinking that always made me feel all the more guilty though for dreaming about touching her the way that I do. Carrie was so sweet, so pretty.. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't ask her why she did what she did. I could barely find the words to speak to her when I was near her. So I always just sat and nodded and smiled if I could, and thought about her kissing me, just once, whenever I looked away.

Today as I walked by it was a little easier then most. She was wearing a big white men's tee shirt and a pair of cut-off shorts instead of her usual pretty halter-tops and sundresses. Her long blonde hair was pulled back tightly in a ponytail that made her seem a just bit younger and her bare feet were kicking back and forth in the grass. "Afternoon Tim!" She yelled at me, smiling a little broader than usual I guess.

I couldn't help but return the grin. Being near her was infectious I'd found and usually put me in a much better mood no matter how bad a day it had been. "Today's a real scorcher, isn't it.. Are you going down to the creek later? I'm thinking a good swim'll help the day go by."

I looked at her blankly for a moment. Most of my afternoons were spent sitting down by the creek lately. Did she know? Had she followed me? I never was one for swimming, but the trees and the breeze that kicked up off the creek made a cool, shady spot that I could sit at for hours. Pictures of her sitting next to me, her arms around me as I leaned her back on the cool grass danced through my head and I found myself smiling. "Sounds great," I said, hoping I didn't sound too excited. And the next thing I knew she hopped off the step and grabbed my hand up in hers. "Then lets be going."

* * *

It hadn't even occurred to me that I hadn't swim trunks on until Carrie sat down on the grass and started shimmying out of her shorts. Even as I felt the blood warming in my veins I found it impossible to look away from her long bare legs as she walked straight into the creek, shirt and all, while I stood on the bank like a fool, staring. When I noticed that she was staring back at me expectantly I started fumbling with my shirt.

"I, uh, forgot that I wasn't wearing trunks today Carrie." I said, stopping midway through taking off my shirt.

"So swim in your skivvies Tim, it's not like you didn't do it when you were a kid."

I turned away from her, my nerves getting the better of me again as questions rang out in my head. Why was she doing this? What if someone saw us together this way? I could feel her eyes on me as I kicked off my shoes and stripped out of my pants anyhow. How I was going to hide how excited I was truly was beyond me, but the thought of backing away when my dream was so close to true was unthinkable. So I raced into the creek as quick as I could and hoped she didn't notice.

Once in the water I began to relax. We splashed water at each other and laughed like little kids. It wasn't until I saw how her shirt clung to her person that I found myself getting all keyed up again. She couldn't have been wearing anything underneath, for the cool water brought her nipples to hard dark points that were clearly visible through the thin fabric. She must have noticed my stare because she stopped the horseplay and looked at me, almost like a silent question that I just didn't get.

As much as I thought it would excite me, fear clawed up my stomach. Part of me wanted to pull her towards me and kiss her, cup her breasts in my hands and hold her close. But the rest of me shouted out doubts. What if she didn't want me to touch her and I did anyhow? She could scream rape and I'd be ran out of town forever. Still she had to know how this looked. She had to know what she was doing. Didn't she? I froze, trying not to shake as want built up inside me and my private demons warred.

And still she looked at me, moving just a bit closer until she could touch my hand with hers. Just a simple soft rub, but it seemed so understanding that I couldn't help but pull her close and hold her tightly to me. I kissed her hair and smoothed it back, felt her body neatly mold to mine and shuddered. I was in heaven.. Truly heaven..

Carrie looked up at me, her green eyes suddenly serious under long gold lashes. Her hands reached up to cup my face and drew it down to meet her lips in a kiss that burned through my whole body. Every nerve I had lit up with desire and the knowledge that I would finally have her. I had to.

Without regrets.

Without reservations.

I lifted her half out of the water as I backed us both up to the edge of the creek and the soft green grass that waited there. And as I laid her back she gave me the most serene smile I had ever seen, as if she was truly happy with the this turn of events. But then she had to be, didn't she? Carrie had planned the whole thing out. Right then I didn't care why. The most compelling urge of my existence was to touch her, to be inside of her as soon as I was able.

I slid the shirt up over her lovely pert little breasts, admiring how they felt like the softest suede against the palms of my hands before I freed her from the tee. She really was completely bare I noticed a moment later. I could see her dusky gold curls, her pale thighs and I shuddered again. In response Carrie reached for the band of my underwear, tugging them down past my ardent cock and raising her hips to meet it.

For all the dreams I'd had of making love to her slowly, taking hours to explore her before I finally entered her I found that I couldn't wait. I pressed myself inside of her until I was snugly entrenched in her honeyed warmth and we were both moaning with desire. Carrie gripped my hips tight against hers as I thrust as hard as I could. Feeling her under me was maddening, was so terribly sweet, that it drove me to take her harder and faster.

I sat back on my knees, pulling her up with me to sit indian-style with her legs around my waist. I had to be deeper inside of her, to reach the core of her warmth. I needed her to shake and moan and call my name like she did in all of my fantasies. I no longer carried if anyone heard us, this was my little moment in time.

I wound her long hair around my wrist with one hand, pulling her head to the side as I kissed her neck and bit her shoulders while my other hand forced her hips to stay locked against the base of my pleasure. And I continued pumping her until both of our bodies shook with delicious shudders. I exploded into her then, filling her with every need and wish and want that I had built up around my dreams of her for the last few years.

For a moment there was silence between us as we clung to each other. Every brush of her taut brown nipples against my chest, every breath she panted against my shoulder, brought me closer to her in a way that I hadn't thought possible. My whole universe had shifted in a moment of surety. Of trust. I felt strong and secure and loved, even if I wasn't sure it was love that she felt for me. She felt something..

Carrie shifted her weight, looking up at me with a much more relaxed grin on her face. Her fingers stroked my face again, my ears, my throat until they circled around my neck in a hug. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hold you, Tim," her breath tickled my ear as she spoke to me. "You always looked so lonely and tired. I just couldn't stand seeing you walk away like that again. There's no need for you to feel that way. Nobody's making it that way for you but you."

She kissed the corner of my jaw, rubbing her hips against me again as she did so and I felt myself growing hard inside her again. Carrie gave a little groan of pleasure and her voice dropped lower, huskier, inviting.. "You're a good man, Tim. A strong man. Be strong for me. Come home with me-"

I caught her chin and made her look me in the eyes, searching for some sign of betrayal. She couldn't want me like that. She couldn't mean what she was saying. But there was no doubt in her eyes, only a sweet, steady gaze that didn't waver or flinch when I glared down at her.

"We can start everything over, Tim. We can make a life together that you will be proud of, I promise you-" Carries words were cut off as I kissed her savagely. All I could think of was sealing that promise and joining her with me as best as I could. I ground her down against me back and forth as quickly as I could. Soon we toppled backwards again and fell into a frenzied tryst, each of us trying to please the other more until the sun had set and we were both too spent to try and wrest another moment of bliss from the other.

Instead we splashed lazily in the creek, then dressed each other with gentle hands that knew each other fully. I walked home with her to the song of the cicadas and the twinkling of the stars overhead and knew that I had finally found my peace.

We didn't say a word to Mr. and Mrs. Threadwell as we passed by them talking quietly on their lawn. Or the Anders strolling down the way. We just held each other's hands and smiled for each other until we reached her steps and her large sprawling porch. There I kissed her gently again. I didn't want to say goodnight or let her go, but I couldn't imagine how much worse it could get for her with the neighbors watching as they were. The talk would be blazing through town before it hit morning. That was for sure.

Carrie held my hand tightly when I turned to leave. She wasn't glaring out at the neighbors as I had been, she was looking at me. "Are you turning down my offer then?" She asked with a sharp note of warning in her voice. Her grip tightened on my fingers, drawing me back to the first step. "My home is your home.." She swung the screen door inwards and looked at me expectantly.

At my hesitation she looked past me at the elderly couple craning to see more of what was going on. "I'm not interested in their lives or their opinions." Carrie tugged at my hand and I stepped up another step to her. "You know they'll all be talking about this tomorrow." I told her, not expecting the brilliant smile she graced me with. "So let them talk, Tim. We have more important things to think about. Like us." She brought my hand up to her lips, then drew it beyond her into the porch, into the house and led me onwards to the beginning of the rest of my life.