Benefits

All events portrayed in the following are completely fictitious. Not a bit actually happened folks.

I awoke to the tone of "Shout It Out Loud" coming from my cell phone. I groggily reached for it.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver.

"Jake?" said a female voice.

"This is he."

"Jake, it's Mila."

"WHAT? What the fuck are you doing calling me? I thought it was made fairly clear how I feel about you!"

"Jake, please don't hang up! I'm sorry okay? I was stupid, and let jealousy and everything get a hold of m-*click*" I hung up and turned off my phone. What the fuck was she thinking, expecting me to even speak to her after what happened? Right as I was having these thoughts run through my head, a knock was at my door.

"Yo man, what's with the Banshee impression?" asked Kyle as he peeked through the door. "Some of us would like that precious gift called sleep."

"Nothing," I replied. "Just someone calling me when they shouldn't, that's all. I'm gonna go for a walk, get some coffee, eliminate all the steam built up."

"Whatever man. Just no more hulking out."

***********

I decided to walk down to a book store that I knew had a coffee shop on the inside. It opened up surprisingly early, so I knew I had a shot of going in and having some good reading to go with my coffee and donut.

I walked in and headed for the mystery section, hoping to find something to pique my interest. Mysteries were not usually my style, but on occasion I would stumble across something that would hold my attention. And judging from my perusing, today would not be that occasion. I headed over to the adventure section, and managed to come across something that piqued my interest, a collection of the earliest Conan stories by the creator, Robert E. Howard. I decided to pick that up.

I was skimming over some of the stories on my way to the register when I bumped into someone, accidentally knocking the person over. When I looked, it turned out I had knocked over a stunning brunette, which only made me help her faster. I'm only human after all.

"Oh shit, I'm SO sorry," I said, helping her pick up her things. She had a few books on her as well. "I didn't see, you, I should have been paying attention. Did I mention the sorry part?"

"No worries," the woman said as I helped her. "I didn't see you either."

"Yeah, but you didn't knock me on the floor."

"True enough," she said with a smile. "But still, don't feel bad. No one was hurt."

"Yeah, but still, I feel like a bit of a tool. Any way I can make it up to you? Buy you a cup of coffee or something?"

"Ah, so it wasn't an accident, this was planned all along", the woman said with a sly smile.

"No..I mean..arggghhh...listen, could I just get you a cup of coffee, it would make me feel better about knocking an innocent woman on her ass."

"Fine, fine, anything to ease your tortured soul Mr......?"

"Parker, Jake Parker. And you are?"

"Morena."

Once everything had been picked up, Morena followed me over to the mini-coffee shop within the store. For some reason, this lady looked very familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place her face. No big deal I suppose. This was a pretty woman, and I was a single guy, the equation wrote itself. Anything else would most likely be just an annoying variable.

Once we had ordered our coffees and such, we sat together at a table near the front window of the store. This was really the first time I got to soak in everything but her marvelous face, which I had already gotten several spectacular views of. She was wearing some very sexy jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a black jacket. In my opinion, very nice.

"So, Morena, you from good ol' New York originally?" I asked, taking a bite from my donut.

"Well, I was born in Brazil, but for the most part, I'm completely a New York girl," she replied. "What about yourself?"

"California guy right here," I replied. "But I swear, I'm not a hippie. I bathe and am pot free."

"Wow, you bathe! I feel lucky. If you can also read, well then, I think I hit a home run."

"Wow, a sarcastic New Yorker, who'd have thunk it?"

"Oh, what was that? You don't want me sitting with you?" she asked with a smirk.

"Please, forgive my accidental blurting of the truth," I replied. "So, what do you do for living?"

"Well, I'm an actress."

"Really? Have you been in anything I would have seen?"

"Well, I've mainly done plays, but a few small parts in movies have also come my way. Also had a big part in a TV show a few years ago."

"Really? Was it something I would have seen?"

"Maybe, the show was called ‘Firefly'."

"Wait a second.....you played Inara, didn't you?"

"Give the boy a cigar! Wow, I can't believe you remember that show. Not that many people saw it."

"Well, most people think that ‘Patch Adams' is a triumph of the human will. Besides, I'm a huge fan of anything Joss Whedon touches, Alien Resurrection excluded."

"Wow, I'm sitting with a fan. Should I be calm, or running scared?"

"Hey, no need to fear, I'm cool. I won't be no harm ma'am, nu-uh," I said in my best Little Rascal-esque voice.

"Eh, I trust ya. Aside from that whole, traumatic event with the me falling down, you seem like an okay guy."

"Thank you. Okay enough to see me again though?"

"Perhaps," she said with a smile. I saw her reach into her purse to take out a pen, and then she scribbled something on a napkin. When she was done with her scribbling, she pushed the napkin over to me. "That's my number. You ever want to get together or something, just call me up. Lot easier and more convenient then knocking me on my ass."

"You got it," I replied, folding the napkin up and placing it in my wallet. "You want another cup?"

"No, one jolt of caffeine is all I need in the morning, but thanks." She got up from her seat and begena to walk away, then stopped for a second to tun her head towards me. "Don't forget to call Mr. Parker."

"Oh, trust me, I won't."

*********

As I walked through the door of the apartment, I must have had a big ol' shit-eating grin on my face, because I was immediately called on my recently out-of-character good mood.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Kyle said, pulling his head away from the TV. "Who's this odd man? Could it be? No, that's impossible. That sad sack of crap isn't capable of smiling."

"Shut up dingleberry," I said, tossing a strewn about pillow at his head. "Can't a dude be in a good mood?"

"Usually, I'd say yes, but your ass has been nothing but power ballads and Friday Nights alone lately, ‘cept for those rare occasions where me or Josie can get you goin' to do somethin'."

"Hey, I have plenty of fun and adventure."

"Dude, sitting at home watching Bruce Campbell fight the hordes of darkness doesn't really count as adventure, so the question stands, what's with the grin Mr. J?"

"Well, if you must know, I met a knockout brunette this morning at the book store, and got her number."

"Oooh, wow. That's amazing. No really, it is. See, this is me amazed."

"Well, you may be more floored if you knew who the number belonged to."

"Sure, sure, I'll bite. Who's number is it?"

I looked through the DVD case for my Firefly box set. I threw it at him and said, "That brunette."

"He scanned the box cover for a bit before it hit him. "Bullshit. Bullshit. And three times I say it, bullshit."

"I say thee nay to thine cries of bullshit," I replied.

"Yeah yeah, blow it out yer ass Thor. I still say bullshit."

"Alas, poor Kyle, thou hast little faith in thine own cousin."

"Dude, cut it with the Asgard talk."

"Sorry, got carried away there. But anyhow, let's place a little bet on it. If I call this number, and Ms. Morena Baccarin shows up at the bar this Friday, you let me go early and cover the entire bar on your own."

"And if she doesn't show up?"

"Then you leave early and I cover things. Probably better that way for the customers. They won't have to dodge Jack Daniels bottles."

"Two things. One: Fuck you, and Two: You're on." We shook hands and the bet was on. I felt a bit odd on betting on something as trivial as this, but if it meant I got out of work to go out with a beautiful woman, I wasn't going to complain.

*******

I was in my room, strumming around on my acoustic guitar, when my cell rang. I picked it up.

"Yo, this is Jake," I said into the phone.

"Jake-O, how's it goin' there buddy?" a familiar voice replied.

"Laura?" I asked. "Laura, that you?"

"No, it's the other blazing hot red head you know. Of course it's me."

"How've you been? Besides the whole "dying your hair the unholy shade" thing."

"Oh shut the fuck up. Like I don't get that enough from my other friends. It's for a movie role."

"Sure sure Red, whatever you say. Betrayer."

"Oh shut up! Stop with the hair, lest I will not drop by New York to see you."

"You're coming here?"

"Yeah, why not? Figured you could use a friendly familiar face. You know, to remind you that Cali isn't ALL bad memories."

"I know that Red. But you coming to visit won't get me back there any sooner. I still have to get.....you know...her...out of my system."

"Jesus, I swear, I've never heard of two people being so fucking whiny over a damn break-up. I know you two loved each other, but damn, all I hear is ‘why oh why? Woe is me!' in stereo. A friendly ear can only take so much."

"What do you mean by ‘in stereo'?" I asked, standing up from my sitting position on the bed.

"Put two and two together Professor X," she replied. "Did you really think the break was all together that clean for her? About two days after you left, she was looking all over for you. She wanted to talk and work things out. She found me and I let her in on where you were and why. She's really not all together sure she made the right choice, and my guess is she's hurting like you are now."

I was dumbfounded. I actually fell backwards onto my bed at hearing this. I thought she was sure of the choice. Now, knowing she felt like I did, she wanted to talk...I had to see her.

"Jake," Laura said. "Jake, you still there?"

"Wha?" I replied, gathering my thoughts. "Yeah, still here Red. So, you're saying, she really wants to talk to me? Try to work it out?"

"Well yeah, but if you're thinking of doing it now, you may want to wait a bit. She's in Australia filming a movie."

"Well, the fact that she wants to talk is good enough for me. And the fact that a close bud of mine is coming up to visit just adds a bit more juice to my day."

"Glad to hear I could bring a smile to that face of yours, even if it was in a non-carnal way. I'll see you in a week then. Just meet me at the airport. I'll give you more details later. Gotta go now. Bye."

"Bye." This was great. A second chance. She wanted to talk. She doubted the break-up. If things worked out right, I'd be with her again. I'd be with Elisha. Sure, it'd have to wait a few months, but I could wait. For her I could.

No use dwelling on what could be though. If I thought about it too much, I know I'd just end up jinxing myself. I flipped on the TV and started channel surfing. Wouldn't you know it, I flipped through and found something with the lovely Ms. Cuthbert herself on it. I decided to watch, a stupid grin definitely sliding over my face. She was being interviewed on the set of her movie in Australia. The interviewer asked her the usual, softy questions, per usual with behind the scenes stuff. The camera crew followed her around the set, continuing with the mind-numbingly droll questions, but I stayed glued. It was, after all, the girl I might have a new shot with.

I continued to watch with that stupid grin on my face, until a certain point came up on this behind-the-scenes special. I watched as Elisha put her arms around some member of the crew, and plant a big kiss on his lips. One of the kisses I used to get.

"Well, who's this Ms. Cuthbert?" the reporter asked. "A new beau?"

"This is Dave," she replied cheerfully. "He's a grip on the set. He's my Crackerjack."

Well. That's just fucking great.

*************

"She called him Crackerjack," I said despondently to Josie. "That's my fucking name. What the fuck?" We were sitting at a coffee shop. There weren't too many people there, so my slightly raised voice wasn't calling too much attention. "Isn't that like an unwritten rule? ‘Never call another person by a name you reserved for your ex.'? It comes right after ‘Never feed mogwais after midnight'."

"Jake, come on," Josie said, taking my hand in hers. "I know this hurts, especially after what your friend told you, but you know what, if she's gonna pull something like that, then she really doesn't deserve a second chance."

"But Josie...."

"NO ‘buts' Jake. You're a great guy. Great to talk to, fun to be with, great in the sack. You deserve better from an ex than that. Even if it was a bad break."

"You know, you're right. Hurts like all fuck, but you're right. No need to even think about talking to her if she's gonna pull something like this."

"That's the spirit! Show some testicular fortitude!"

"Thanks for the pep talk coach."

"Well....how about more than a pep talk?" And with the end of that sentence, I heard her shoe drop to the ground and felt her foot slide it's way to my crotch. "I have a few ideas."

"I bet you do," I replied with a smirk. "Now, just what are these ideas, I wonder?"

"Well, I was thinking something like a nice drive to a nice little amusement park, maybe add a bit more fun to the funhouse, that kind of thing."

"Sounds like a plan."

**********

The drive to Coney Island was easily the longest, but most fun, drive I've ever had, with Josie teasing me along the way. As soon as we arrived and parked, we rushed to into the amusement park and located the funhouse.

As soon as we walked through the doors, Josie darted ahead of me, laughing as she breezed by. I followed her of course, found she had done some work for me, removing her panties and leaving them for me to find along the way.

When I finally caught up with her, she was in the hall of mirrors. She was leaning with her back against one of the mirrored walls, her skirt lifted with one hand while the other fingered her slit.

"Mmmmm....c'mere Jake," she said in a sigh. I waked over to her and lowered my face to her to kiss her deeply, feeling a slight nibble on my bottom lip, courtesy of Ms. Maran. I felt her undo my belt and zipper, and I let my pants fall around my ankles as I lifted her up, Josie wrapping her legs around my waist as I lowered her on to my painfully hard cock.

As soon as I was completely inside her, Josie opened her eyes and fixated her stare on me, her wicked half-smile crossing her face as I began to thrust into her. I moved my mouth to her neck and began to lick and nibble, getting yelps and groans from her as we fucked.

"FUCK!" exclaimed Josie. "FUCK YES! That's it Jake...fuck my tight little pussy...fuck me fucking hard! Fuck me like a fucking whore...FUCK!!!"

"You like that Josie?" I gasped. "You like this fucking cock? You like it fucking you! You like this?" I started to thrust into her with more voracity, my teeth gritted as the obscenities flowed from my mouth. I looked into the mirror we were leaned against and saw multiple reflections of our activity. I don't know if it means I'm completely egotistical or something, but the sight of the two of us fucking like animals just seemed to spur me on more, make me act more animal like, which got no complaints from Josie.

"God damn it YES! Keep fucking me you fucker! FUCK YES! Don't fucking stop!!"

"Fucking cum for me Josie. Cum on my hard cock. Fucking cum." I savagely took her shirt down to expose her pert breasts to me, and eagerly took her right one into my mouth, nibble and sucking on her nipple as my other hand went for her clit, frigging it as we fucked, lost in the moment.

Josie was approaching her crescendo, her voice getting more and more high pitched as I thrusted into her, her crotch grinding into me at random intervals, sending insane feelings through my body. She moved her head forward and began to lick and nibble on my earlobes, her breaths getting shorter and short until finally, I felt her pussy spasm around my cock, and heard a low groan escape from her lips as her orgasm hit her, her warm juices covering my cock. Within a few more thrusts, I let out a loud groan myself as I released my hot cum into her waiting pussy. I lowered Josie down and watched her slide down the mirrored wall, a smile on her face as she wiped sweat from her forehead. I fell back as well, but with a bit more of a start as my butt hit the cold linoleum floor, to which I responded with quickly pulling my pants up.

"Well," Josie said crawling over to me and planting a deep kiss on my lips. "Hope that took your mind off your troubles."

*************

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Josie asked as we walked up the stairs to the apartment.

"Well, not much really," I replied. "I was thinking of calling this really cute chick I met the other day, but after what's gone on recently, I don't know."

"Oh come on Jake, do we really need to go through this again? And besides, what better way to wipe the taste of heartbreak then not only having some hot, spur of the moment sex with one gorgeous girl, then going out on a date with another, while obviously not nearly as gorgeous, but still good-looking, girl?"

"Yeah, I'll call her. No reason to dwell on the unfortunate bad choices of an ex, right?"

"Very true my friend," Josie said as we approached the door. "Now, this is unfortunately where I must depart Jake. I gotta head off. Late for a lunch thing. But I promise I'll see you around." She got on her toes and gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye, and walked down the stairs. I turned around and opened the door, and headed straight for the phone. Might as well get in contact with Morena now, before any feelings of sadness overtook me and prevented me from doing so. I dialed her up and heard my call be answered.

"Hello?" asked Morena.

"Morena?" I asked.

"This is she," she replied.

"Hi, this is Jake Parker. You know, I accidentally knocked you down in the bookstore, bought you a cup of coffee......"

"Oh yeah. I was wondering if you'd call. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do something tonight. Dinner, movie, rob a liquor store. You know, average date stuff."

"Hmmm, now the liquor store idea does sound tempting, but I think dinner and a movie is a better bet. You know, for first dates. If this was a third, it'd be armed robbery all the way."

"Glad I have that for future reference," I replied with a laugh. "Can you meet me at Nick's Dive? You need directions?"

"No, I know the place. I'll meet you there at around.....8:30?"

"That sounds great. See you then Morena. Bye."

"Bye."

***********

I was behind the bar serving some shots up as Morena walked through the door. She was wearing a nice red dress with a pink floral pattern, and a black jacket. She spotted me behind the bar and walked over to me.

"Why hello Mr. Parker," she said with a bright smile. "You almost done here?"

"Almost Ms. Baccarin," I said. "Got to get out a few more drinks, then I'm out."

"Great. And since you're making some drinks anyway, I'll take a tequila sunrise."

"Right away ma'am." I got to making her drink, and handed it off as soon as I was done. I then headed down to Kyle. "Look over there dipshit."

"What?" he asked, looking over. When his eyes came upon Morena, sipping her drink, he winced. "I fucking hate you sometimes man, I really do."

"Yes, indeed, I do know thine hatred. But as we agreed, I prove I was telling the truth, I leave, making you the sole bartender tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, get the fuck out of here, before I decide to welch."