Disclaimer: Alright, this story is not to be read by anyone under 18 (or in some certain doomed places) 21. If you get caught jacking off by your mother/father/auntie/uncle/Grand Parent. Keep in mind it's not my fault! Please send me constructive criticism through the Contact tab in my profile.
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Author's Note: Spot the Futurama references! The name's only count as one and the first is a given. There are ten more hidden. I expect posts on the forum or e-Mails :D
I pushed my way into the brand new bar and looked around. There were no familiar faces and I was all alone. Wonderful. Next I'll be buying myself a snake. I walked up to the bar and sat down, ordering myself a Jack Daniels on the rocks, I settled into a late night of drowning my sorrows and praying they couldn't swim. That's when she walked in. A blonde goddess. She was quite short and slender, her legs were shown off by the lack of pants. She had on a black see-through top with a white undershirt on, she also had on a black short skirt with brown Cowboys boots. She was heading my way and I knew I had to talk to her, but she beat me to it.
"Is this seat taken?" Her voice was smooth and sounded so wonderful. I shook my head and offered her the seat. "You by yourself handsome?" She asked me again with a smile on her face as she ordered her drink.
"Not at all. I've got Jack here." I said with the same wicked grin, I lifted my glass and lightly shook it. Showing her the contents of my drink, rattling away happily. She smiled at my antics and scooted her chair closer to mine.
"I like a guy with a sense of humour. So how come you're here by yourself?"
I turned my chair to meet the Goddess' and shrugged. Taking a quick sip, I answered. "I don't know. I guess I was kind of expecting my friends to be here, but no such luck."
She nodded with a sympathetic look on her face. "Shame." She added, herself taking a sip of her own poison. "Although, if they had turned up you wouldn't be able to talk to me now would you?"
Nodding my head in agreement, I smiled and raised my glass. "To friend's not turning up."
The woman smiled and raised her glass, the two beakers lightly knocking against each other in a toasting fashion. "I'm Phillip by the way."
"Kristen. Say, do you not recognise me?" She introduced herself with a smile. Adding that last part with a touch of almost disapproval. Frowning lightly, I turned to her and looked at her face intently. Something did seem to fall into place but I couldn't see what.
"Really sorry but no I don't. Do you live around here?" I took a shot in the dark. "My apartment complex is full up of teenage girlies running around with little to no clothing on. Not that I care or anything of course!" I added, and I didn't want to put her off with the fact that I may have been gay.
The woman laughed out loud at my comments. She looked at me with a soft smile and sighed lightly. "I'm on TV. Veronica Mars? Heroes? Ringing any bells?"
My brain started to put a name to her face, when I realised who she was I gasped. "Kristen Bell?"
"Ding" Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Jeez, that's flattering though. I can still get a drink from guys without them knowing who I am." Kristen said with a smile as she dusted off her drink.
"It helps that you're really hot too." I corrected her, as I picked up her tab for the drink.
Kristen blushed lightly and shrugged her shoulders. "Am I hot? I hadn't noticed..." Crooking an eyebrow lightly, I smiled and we settled down to talking about things close to us.
"So, how come you're in a dive bar like this?" I asked, sipping happily at my J+D.
Kristen thought about the answer before speaking up. "Well, Hollywood can always be a bitch for celebrities trying to get a quiet drink. Fortunately, Attention Whore Heidi Montag turned up and took the attention away from me, letting me escape. Besides, you can't beat a nice quiet drink from time to time."
"Amen to that my sister." I said with a light smile, as I myself dusted off my drink and placed it on the bar. More and more people started to flood into the bar, setting their coats down by me and Kristen. She started to look uncomfortable, so I decided to play the smooth move and suggest we leave.
"My place is like five minutes away. We could hang out there I suppose." I suggested, keeping the hope out of my voice. Kristen mulled this over for a few moments before nodding her head.
"Alright, that sounds awesome. Lead the way Phil!"
Ah, my pet peeve. "Phillip. My name's Phillip. Phillip J. Fry."
"Like Futurama?" Kristen said with her head tilted to her side slightly.
Sighing, my head fell and I just nodded. "Yeah. Just like him, come on let's go."
We walked up to the door of the bar, I brushed past her lightly and held the door open for her. I caught a bashful smile on her face as we moved out into the cool air. "Yeesh. It got cold didn't it?" Kristen said with a slight shake as the cool Autumn air brushed against her body.
"Yeah, can't believe this weather we've been having! It's roasting hot one day and other days it's like Santa's Death Fortress on Neptune...Only without the homosexual Elves of course..."
Kristen giggled lightly and nodded like she knew what I was talking about it. We started walking up the road where I saw Mrs Pannucci, who owned my local Pizza shop. "Hi Mrs Pannucci!" I said cheerily as I also saw her husband Gino studying hard with a 'Teach Yourself English Audio book." He seemed to be repeating one word over and over again. "Is he struggling with that?" I asked politely as she turned to her husband. Mrs Pannucci was amazing. She had been in the country for nearly 3 months and she was practically fluent in the language.
"No, it's stuck on a loop and he's an idiot." She said with a wry smile as I introduced Kristen.
"Mrs Pannucci, this is Kristen."
Kristen extended her hand for Mrs Pannucci to shake. However, Mrs Pannucci gasped lightly. "She's so pretty! What's she doing with you?"
Both me and Kristen had a good laugh at that as Mrs Pannucci welcomed us in. "Please you both come in and have some Pizza! It's really good, customers decide they don't want any. You can have it for free!"
I turned to Kristen with a big goofy grin on my face. Kristen however had an unsure look on her face.
"Mrs Pannucci, I don't mean to be rude but it doesn't have meat on it does it? I'm a vegetarian you see." Kristen said, grinding her hands together. Hoping not to upset my second mother.
Mrs Pannucci held up her hand for a second to signify 'One moment' and she disappeared into the back. She then came back with the Pizza box smelling lovely. "It is your lucky day. Pizza is quadruple cheese. You like?"
I looked over to Kristen and we shared the yes though. "Yes Mrs Pannucci, that would be lovely. Kristen said with a smile. Mrs Pannucci brought both her hands up with the pizza and placed it on the table closest to us. As we both took a seat, Mrs Pannucci smiled and lightly clapped her hands once, admiring the scene. She smiled and then made herself busy, not wanting to step on our toes.