He's upset with me. I can tell. Maybe he has a right to be. It's almost 7:00pm and I haven't called. I haven't texted. I haven't seen him and I haven't wanted to either... but I also think he'll forgive me.... I hope...
We've been friends for a long time, too many years to count really. I met Sam in college and we were instant friends but we never dated. He was busy with different organizations and had a serious girlfriend who happened to be a good friend of mine also. Sometimes the three of us would hang out and Sam went out of his way to make sure I didn't feel like the third wheel. I was there for them both when they finally broke up senior year, getting jobs in different cities, they didn't think they could make it work. I lost touch with the friend, but Sam and I - our friendship has blossomed. Kind of like I have over the years.
I wasn't very popular in school. Smart and cute, sure, but very quirky which wasn't cool at the time. I went on a few dates, but nothing serious and my only sexual experience was with a guy I met from our rival university. Let's just say we didn't click. After college, I moved to Baltimore and started working for an engineering firm and Sam was right down the road in DC. We'd talk throughout the week and hung out at least once a month on the weekends. One night, after having one drink too many, I offered up "the Pact". You know, the one where if we weren't in a serious relationship or married, we'd give it a shot ourselves.
Giggling, I sipped my drink again, but when I looked up and met his eyes, there was something different there. Something I hadn't seen before, at least not directed my way. He wasn't laughing, there wasn't a hint of a smile and for some reason I felt my skin start to prickle. He held my gaze, leaned in close and whispered "why wait..." his lips grazing my ear as he spoke.
Shit. It was the sexiest moment of my life and he'd barely touched me. Did I gasp? Shit. I could feel my nipples tighten and I know I shifted on my stool. He raised his hand to touch my cheek, let his finger trail down to my lips, and I shuddered.
"Hmmm..." I responded. Not very glamorous but it was really all I could do.
He smiled, just a little. Dropped his hand to my knee and causally agreed to my pact. I wanted to suck on the finger that just burned my lip. I wanted to jump into his lap and kiss him. I wanted to feel his lips on every inch of my skin. I wanted his hand to slide up my thigh and caress everything he could find under my skirt. What I wanted, however, I kept inside, and his hand left my leg and went back to his glass.
It's been 5 years since then, and we've continued to talk, but not as often. We hang out occasionally, but not like that first year after college. Sometimes we talk for hours, falling asleep on the phone, but life is busy. Girlfriends and boyfriends have come and gone, and as it stands today, we are both single again.
A few days ago we talked about his birthday coming up and decided we'd celebrate together. It fell on a Friday this year and I told him I'd come by around 7pm and to be ready. Over the last 48 hours, I've had a lot of time to think. That "Why Wait" of his rooted inside me and has grown. Nurtured by our talks and closeness. I want to make this birthday unforgettable, and in the morning, I hope everything will be different in the best way possible.
My one worry is that I still am a bit akward. I'm not that good at flirting and that's probably how I dropped the ball with him before. I've learned from experience though, and I'm hoping that my plan is a good one. For success, it will definitely require him to be an active participant. I don't think I can pull it off alone.
7:00 on the dot.
As I raise my knuckles to the door, I take a deep breath. It opens before I can touch it. Sam's there - he must have been waiting for me. Oops. That's not exactly happiness to see me in his face. I think he might even be glaring at me. Another steadying breath... don't crack, hold it together.
"Hi Handsome, happy birthday" I say in what I hope sounds like a soft but playful purr. His eyes aren't on my face though, and I can tell he's taking in my attire. It's warm for a mid-September evening in DC, and I'm wearing a black dress that hits me mid thigh, that flares at the waist, has a low cut square neckline and is sleeveless. I'm waxed and went to the nail salon for a pretty pink mani/pedi. My makeup is light, but I am wearing a rich rose colored gloss and a heavier mascara than usual. I don't wait and invite myself in, adding a bit more of a sashay to my hips than usual.
"Thank you" he says slowly. I don't dare look at him again just yet, and put my paper bag of goodies down on the counter, setting my denim jacket on the back of a chair. I reach into my bag, grab the bottle of Patron, two shot glasses and a lemon. Finally meeting his eyes, I can see the glare is gone and something else is forming. Interest?
"I thought we could have a bit of fun first," I say, swirling the bottle in small circles. "Grab the salt." I direct him. Silently he approaches, stands next to me and reaches slightly behind me. I didn't even notice the salt was right there. His arm brushes mine as he brings it forward, dangling it my face. "And I knife." I try to appear unfazed, but his touch makes me so warm. He sighs and brings over a knife. I slice the lemon up into half wedges, pour our first shots and hand one to Sam. " Here's to another great year, and an amazing night" I say, unable to make my voice sound anything but nervous at this point.