I was a cheap guy in a cheap hotel. A cheap room.
She was kind of cheap too, but I think I may have been a little cheaper. Now I think about it.
I'd always fancied her. Always wanted to fuck her. Always wanted to see her naked body. Wanked about the fantasy a couple of times.
She'd always known I'd fancied her. Lusted after her. She could see it. Smell it on a guy. It never fazed her. She'd fuck who she wanted. And fuck off those she didn't. Simple. She had no morals. No ambition. Lived for the moment. A series of low paying jobs. Cleaner. Factory worker. Checkout girl. Barmaid. Waitress. Never lasted long in any of them.
She had a one-bedroom council flat at the top of a characterless block in the rough part of town. Been there for years. Maybe till she died.
She never had any kids. Didn't want them.
She liked a drink now and again. Understatement. She'd get smashed. Take a bloke home. Fuck them. Occasionally a wife or girlfriend would confront her. She'd give as good as she got. Won more catfights than she lost. She was known for it. Small town. People knew more about you than you knew about yourself.
She was trash really. I should have had nothing to do with her. But I've never listened to good advice. Especially my own. Never will.
She wasn't a happy person. Just a person. Living for the next meal. The next drink. The next paycheck. The next episode of Eastenders. The next fuck. The next orgasm. The next sleep.
We're all like that underneath. In different ways.
She rarely smiled. Seldom looked happy. But she was sexy. Sexy for mid-forties. Very sexy. Sort of beautiful. Always tanned. Naturally blonde. Slim. Bright blue eyes. Moved well.
I wanted her. Needed to tick that box. Yeah, I'm a cheap guy.
"Like what you see?"
Yeah, she said that.
I guess I must have been ogling. Not too discretely.
"Yeah, I do."
I'm an honest guy. Most of the time.
We were walking in opposite directions along 'Benefit Boulevard' -- a street known for those on social security. Old, large unsellable houses divided up into bedsits.
I guess neither of us were going anywhere important. Just another one of those days. More days like that than there aren't. For us. The cheap people.
I stopped, crossed over, and walked over to her.
"You fancy me. You want me. Don't pretend you don't," she said in a raspy kind of common cockney accent and smiled.
"Who's pretending?"
It was a corny comeback. Best I could think of. But it was good enough - to tick a box.
"Take me for a drink - for now. I need one. Just had some news. Don't ask me about it. Just need a drink."
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Hasker's Hotel. On the seafront. They've got a nice bar there. I need a gin and tonic. A large one."
"Okay."
She slipped her arm through mine. It felt good. I kind of felt wanted. For a change.
Ten minutes later we walked through the public entrance of the Royal Hasker's Hotel. We'd hardly talked. But I didn't care.
Royal Hasker's Hotel. It had seen better days. Once a place to be seen. But not anymore. It still had rooms. But they were cheap nowadays. Cheap like me. Cheap like her.
We strolled up to the bar. Together. Arm in arm.
The bar manager stopped wiping glasses and came over. He was early forties with dark slicked back hair, a ruddy complexion, and a moustache - weasel. He didn't know it yet, but he was cheap.
He looked at her and she looked back at him. It was that kind of a look. I twigged it. And then they twigged that I twigged it. They'd fucked in the past. But I didn't care.
"Large Gin and Tonic please... and whatever he's having."
"I'll have half a bitter, please."
I paid for the drinks -- they weren't cheap.
We sat at a table by the window. Across the road were a series of bus stops and beyond that the railway station. Further along the seafront was the old pier. It was looking rundown. In need of renovation. But I guess there was no money. Cheap seaside town. Cheap times.
She was wearing a faded denim jacket. Jeans too. Underneath I could see she had a sleeveless white top. The top of her chest was bronzed -- she liked the sun. Or tanning machines.
I wanted to touch her. But I didn't. I needed the green light. Or was it a red light. Wouldn't have surprised me with her.
I told her I was out of work for a bit. Unemployed bus or coach driver. Something would always come along. I couldn't do anything else. Didn't fit in. No ambition. No other skills.
Told her I'd just won a few bob at the bookies. Normally I lost.
Gambling. A mug's game. A mug and cheap, that's me.
"How much?"
"A hundred quid."
"Wanna celebrate?"
"Yeah."
A fool and his money.