We had met online and now he was coming to visit for the first time. His business had brought him here and he had requested that I meet up with him. We had lived out many fantasies over the net and I had shared many secrets with him but feared the actual meeting to come. I knew that I had to go and see him when he arrived though or I would never be able to forgive myself for what could have been.
Today was the day. He had called yesterday to say that he had made it safe and also to tell me what motel room he would be staying at. Would have a free morning today and felt that now was a good time for us to meet. Being the nice man that he is he also wanted to point out that sex wasn't a must.
I knew differently. After all the fantasies we had lived out online, I knew that I would have to feel it in real life. So here I am preparing to meet him, doing all the little things that every woman does when getting ready to go on a first date. Showering, shaving, brushing teeth and figuring out what to wear so you look good but not untouchable.
I am now in my car and on the road, heading to meet up with a man that I had only seen in pictures and had heard on the phone only a few times. The nervousness I felt wouldn't come was hitting me hard now that I knew I was going to find out what happens when the fantasy becomes reality.
At the motel heading to find his room the nervous swarm of butterflies in my stomach and hearing my heart beat as a pounding in my head. I dread knocking on his room door and yet feeling like I could never arrive there soon enough.
Finally arriving at his door, I pause outside. Wondering if he will still like me when I am looking him in the eyes and wondering also if I will be able to finish what I feel was started so long ago.
I hear him through the closed door moving around and decide that I had better go ahead and knock or else leave here without saying anything. Maybe call him from home and tell him that I couldn't do it. "No, you can do this" I tell myself as I bring my hand up and knock on his door.
I see you standing there when you open the door. Looking so much more handsome in person than you did in the few pictures I had seen. You open your arms for me and I feel myself falling into them. No words were needed as I look up into your eyes, as I see the approval of me written there clearly.
Slowly I see your head move down towards me just a little and then you pause, as if seeking permission from me to continue. I give it by raising myself up just a little higher towards you.