I have always made it a firm policy of sleeping with my female friends. It just made sense to me and my argument has always been as follows: 1) we obviously like each other; 2) we enjoy each others company; 3) we laugh at the same things and 4) afterwards, we won't have those uncomfortable moments of silence that accompanies sex with a stranger.
It was an argument that worked with perfection with almost all of my female friends save one, Sondra. She wasn't buying it.
She said, "You're just creating a harem of weak-willed women who were just too stupid to see the lame game you were running on them and that if you were the last man on Earth I would not sleep with you just on general principle."
Oh I forgot to mention, she also happened to be my best friend in the whole world.
So with that said I never approached her in a sexual manner, though she became my sounding board for all my sexual exploits. She always listened intensely and would give me advice on how to handle situations that may have gone bad or how to win over stubborn women who were blind to my charm and wit.
Sondra would also tell me about her own exploits and I would give her my advice, which was basically to not fuck any men at all because they would all break her heart, which most of them eventually did. She was emotionally fragile person and every break-up would crush her. She never developed relationship calluses like most people and that was her biggest flaw.
Her other problem was that she was too attractive. Sondra drew men to her like flies to shit. She's 5'4" and had the most luscious 36DD breast and a fine well rounded rear end that could literally stopped traffic. Each day dozens of men would hit on her and she didn't have the ability to filter out the assholes from the good guys because of the sheer volume of requests for her attention.
So after a while she stopped dating and spent many nights at home with Hagan Daas and a Pocket Rocket that I brought her for her birthday.
One evening, I came home early after going out on a frustrating date with an exasperating woman who left me flustered by her unwillingness to present me her sexual favors. So I rushed to the phone to berate this tease to my best friend. When she answered, I could tell by her voice that I had just interrupted a session with "Mr. Pocket Rocket", she snapped at me and asked me what did I want.
I, of course being the perpetual flirt, said "you and all only you, my dear."
There was a pause, then a sigh and then in a slight whisper, "I know I am going to regret this but you have ten minutes for you and that semi legendary dick of yours to get over here or the offer will expire," and then she added, "this is a one time offer, so don't get any ideas about some great romance. It's now 11:32pm, you have until 11:42, the clock is ticking, jerk" and with that she hung up.
Damn, I jumped out of bed and threw on a coat and raced to my car. On a good day, it usually takes 20 minutes to get to Sondra's house but tonight it was raining, ugh. But fuck it, I was going to get some pussy, so I pulled out of the parking space as if my Honda was a dragster. I ran red lights, I drove up one way streets and all but drove onto her front lawn, so that I could beat the deadline.
As I ran up the porch to ring her bell, she opened the door and said, "It is amazing what a man will do given the right incentive."
I looked at her and said, "aren't you going to let me in?"
"Well, you are here so much anyway, you might as well have a key."
