An update from the author.
Hello lovely people and thanks again for following my story. It's a privilege to write it for you and I'm deeply touched at all the lovely comments of support and helpful messages.
My last chapter did tell you all about Tony and it did result in a few emails of concern and so, I thought that I would address some things that came up as we continue with the story.
Firstly. Yes, this entire story is adapted from my personal life and experience as a sex worker. I did work for a large and sometimes scary firm in a private club and all the encounters I describe in detail did happen although, you'll understand that I have changed names and locations and made them easier to read and left out highly uninteresting parts.
I'm not going to share all the details right now because I want my story to tell itself through my writing which is one of my personal challenges.. to be able to do this but, when I reach then end, I will sum up in more detail my personal journey.
I hope you are enjoying walking my path with me, it feels so rewarding to share it with you all. xx
Chapter 8 -- It's happening again!
About a month had passed since my encounter with Tony and time enough to consider the shift that it had caused towards my feelings about sex. I'd managed to settle back into my work at the club and there had been no other incidents and everything had thankfully been normal. I worked my shifts and left the men satisfied. For me though, there was now something that was unresolved and it played on my mind. It was like I was missing something important, but I couldn't figure out what that was exactly, or what to do about it.
Right in the middle of all this personal trauma, Hanna asked me if I wanted to visit her in Florida. I did want to see her so badly, but I also didn't feel in the right frame of mind to deal with tricky relationship issues and so, I put her off for a few weeks but even that made me feel guilty and unsettled. My emotions were being pulled in different directions at every turn. Steph had also recently split with her boyfriend and over several beers and a couple of gym sessions, we discussed our relationship miseries at length, with neither of us ending up with answers that made us feel any better.
Nina had been great though. We'd been meeting at least once a week for lunch and she'd been giving me a real in depth look into submissive and dominant relationships, or at least, her experiences with them. This was an area that was entirely new to me and my misunderstandings about it were ridiculous in nature when explained and understood. I'd always had a somewhat narrow view of the whole sub / dom arrangement as one that involved a basement, leather, ropes and pain. That of course was due to my lack of learning on the subject and obvious lack of experience but I also wanted to figure out how to explore a little more and get a fuller understanding of what all this could mean for me in time.
Actually, when I looked back on the last few weeks, the situation with Tony could have been described as a workplace issue, however as my work was being a prostitute made it also highly personal. When you're a prostitute, you can't really separate work and personal life very much and understanding that in and of itself was a positive that had come from the entire experience. Another positive had been the support network around me. The supervisors at the club had been amazing and, in the weeks since had been checking in on me a lot and had been very careful about the men they booked me to see. Steph and Nina had been right there and finally, I was feeling like I was turning a corner from the whole thing and feeling more excited for the future than suffering from the past.
I was just finishing up a week of leave which had been very welcome, and I'd managed to relax and do some things for me. I'd been to the movies, spent time meeting friends, been to the gym, ran every day and even had a day of pampering at my favourite spa. On the day before I was due to back to work, Nina and I went out of the city for a hike. It was a perfect spring day and felt like a real treat to get away from the noise and constant speed of the city. Being away from all other people, Nina and I could also talk without fear of anyone overhearing any embarrassing conversations. Having hiked several miles, we found ourselves at the top of a hill which was strewn with boulders, we found a place to sit and eat our picnic lunch while taking a break.
Nina was keen that I get my balance back at work and felt like if I was going to be open to new experiences then I should start from a solid foundation and, I felt like she was right. We also talked about my sexuality which was interesting. I was at the point where a relationship with a man seemed out of the question for me. That said, I definitely still had a massive craving for cock. There was no getting around that, sex with men, a big yes, a relationship, no. We also explored my fixation on a nice dick and Nina explained that as I was submissive, I was drawn to the penis and testicles, because that was the symbol of male power, if you will. The phallus is the ultimate tool of sexual domination and for me, it had sort of become a thing to worship internally. The very act of a man thrusting this thing inside your body is, in this context, dominant. I wondered if this was why I'd found prostitution to be far easier for me to do than I'd expected it would be?
As we continued our hike, we worked out a kind of checklist for my first week back at work. I agreed to try and be fully present with every client. To closely look at the shape of every penis and to appreciate each one, regardless of it's owner. Nina also wanted me to take a particular moment after any client that that came inside me to feel grateful, and to give thanks, if you like, for the gift of the sperm. It seemed a little hippie-like, but I'd come to trust Nina and felt close to her. Even though I hadn't realised it yet, Nina had started to dominate me in a gentle way. She was now giving me instructions and advice and I was willingly beginning to follow what she said. As we returned from our hike, we agreed to meet after my first weekend at work. She was keen to see how I felt.
Friday morning dawned cloudy and damp, a contrast to the wonderful weather we'd enjoyed the day before, but I would be busy preparing for work and taking care of my apartment. By mid-afternoon I was ready and had a few hours to chill out and watch a movie on TV before cooking supper and hitting the shower. The driver would collect me at around 8pm and, as it was a weekend night, it was probably gonna be busy.
With time to spare, I found myself thinking not just about the job of being a prostitute but also of the act of sex and my conversation with Nina. I was really trying to understand what it was that was that had made me so willing to do it in the first place and now, to embrace it as a life choice. If I hadn't begun to work as a prostitute then I may never have learned these things about myself but, as shocking as it was, I was submissive. I had a total penis fixation, a fetish for sperm and, most shockingly, a rape fantasy that, while for most people this would remain a fantasy, for me, had become a reality. Whatever I did, this would always be my truth. Even more strange and paradoxical was my desire to have romantic relationships with women and not men, although Hanna, being trans fitted somewhere into this whole picture.
What it was that gave me confidence in my work was that I felt like I'd taken the time to learn about men in detail although, I could get caught off guard, clearly. But learning in minute detail what they need during sex and being hyper responsive to tiny details, allowed me to be a good prostitute. While still contemplating my penis and sperm issues, I thought about how I'd developed an encyclopaedic knowledge of the male orgasm which I used with every client to try and time things perfectly to maximise the man's pleasure right at the point of climax. No one could accuse me of not taking my work seriously!
Arriving back at the club after my week of leave felt good. I liked the routine and normality. By 9pm it was dark outside, and the night was young. I was in my changing room and ready for the first client and familiar sounds of high heels passing my door on occasions gave me a strange sense of belonging. I was one of these women, this was my place in the world for now and I felt like I fitted right in.
Beth was the supervisor on duty that evening, and she gave me my first client at around 9:15pm and as I left the staff area, dressed neatly in my white thong and bra, Eva was also on her way up to the VIP suites. We walked together along the corridor and gave each other a knowing giggle as we passed by room two. Benita was servicing a client in that room. How did we know that? Because Benita was very loud and very vocal, there was no mistaking her. I liked her, she was funny and usually the one to make everyone laugh at something inappropriate. In her early thirties, she was a tall, stunningly beautiful black woman with huge, soft eyes. From the outside of a door while she was being fucked though, she was like a banshee! Benita also liked practical jokes. We teased her that she was the only one of us who could get fucked in the ass and end up with a sore throat. Benita put a small butt plug in my orange juice. Always some fun going when we had the time.
Eva gave me a cheeky slap on the butt as we reached room six where my client was waiting, and I watched her walk off towards the stairs to the suites before I turned and knocked on the door.
The guy that I was seeing was called Karl, he was tall and seemed in quite good shape. I think he was mid-forties but I'd long since stopped having an age preference about sexual partners. I got a good vibe from him straight away and I enjoyed noticing him checking me out from the neck down as I walked past him into the room.
