Sister Claire was a dedicated nun – or so she thought. She had given herself entirely to the demands of her order for over four years. With her colleagues, the Order of the Mount, Claire had given everything she could to the service of her God and to helping the poor and those who had "lost" their connection to God.
Claire loved being a nun. Aged thirty, she'd experienced so much in life and had entered the Order full of confidence. She had felt certain that holy orders were for her. Having had an active life, she'd felt ready to give up many worldly pleasures and devote herself to the needs of others. Claire had never been concerned that her life would be one of constant sacrifices.
Sister Claire had a problem. She suffered from unclean thoughts. She'd had those since she was a teenager. She had taken several boyfriends, juvenile flings she thought, and her "fooling around" had never led to anything much. Then she had given up her virginity while a university student. There was no regret on that score – Claire had carefully chosen the man she fucked that night and she thought of the experience as a valuable "life lesson". There had been some feelings of guilt but she'd enjoyed the experience and, she told herself, it made her a more "rounded" woman. A drunken night had followed and Claire had somehow found herself in bed with two boys in a performance of experimentation. The pregnancy scare she'd endured was only part of the cause of her feelings of shame and remorse.
The Order of the Mount told all its members they should remain chaste. That was not the main reason Claire had been so keen on joining the nuns, though it did help. She did hope to rid herself of unclean thoughts – thoughts that she had acted on in her younger years, that she'd later confessed and repented. Surrounded by peers who likewise had relinquished "pleasures of the flesh", Claire had been happy to leave such thoughts behind and to embrace her new life.
The thoughts had stopped – for a year or so after taking her vows. Then she had struggled with them for a time. She did her best to suppress those thoughts and the memories of sharing flesh (and more) with sexy bodies and horny minds. Then there had been dreams of virile young men pursuing her with their erect cocks. She'd been horny for a long time and finally had succumbed, playing with herself in the dark. She dreaded the thought that her colleagues would discover her but Claire felt as if masturbation kept her sane.
Claire did not want to leave the Order. More than anything she felt committed to her work and helping those who needed it most. Finally, feeling weak and embarrassed she had sought help. A confession to Father John had been a call for help. Later, she wondered how things would have turned out if she'd simply kept her sins to herself.
"You need to discuss this with Sister Teresa. She is your supervisor," had been the kind but blunt response from Father John. Claire had considered that but she'd been afraid. She truly did not want to the leave the Order but if she told Teresa it seemed certain she'd be admonished and probably be threatened with dismissal. Claire didn't want that and so she'd gone to Father John seeking assistance with her sinful thoughts. But now she had to admit her failings to Sister Teresa.
John was left smiling after their meeting. Somehow there was always a new nun in the Order who found her sexual urges too great to resist. It was human, of course, but it ensures a fresh supply of new meat. Because Father John had aligned himself to the Order of the Mount after he'd been introduce to its secretive inner workings. The Order had a way of dealing with nuns like Sister Claire who were on the verge of succumbing to their sexual needs.
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Claire's meeting with her supervisor did not go at all as she had expected. It turned out that Father John had briefed Teresa on "the problem" and Claire had been taken aback to find her supervisor so ready to discuss the matter. In fact, Sister Teresa had been vey understanding, even sympathetic. There was no sign of shock – as Teresa explained, it was not uncommon for women of her age to sometimes have such thoughts. "The more important thing," said Teresa, "Is what you are going to do about them." Claire had agreed. Though it had seemed bizarre to Claire that she'd been asked so many questions about her sexual past – how many boys had she slept with, her age when she'd lost her virginity, did she like their cocks, was she at all interested in women?
"Come back and see me in a couple of days," Teresa had advised. "We'll talk about it some more and I might have a suggestion to help you." Clair had given profuse thanks for the offer of help. The trouble was that her conversation with Sister Teresa had left her more aroused than before. Looking forward to being shown a path to redemption, Claire succumbed again to her sinful thoughts and masturbated furiously for the next two nights. Then she returned to her supervisor's office
"Have you been masturbating?" was the first question from Teresa. Shocked, mortified, Claire had nodded and confessed she'd suffered still more of those sinful thoughts. "I just could not help myself Sister," she had muttered.
"Its not quite the problem you think it is," the supervisor assured her. "Its normal and human to have sexual feelings and to have those sort of thoughts."
"But not as nuns," protested Claire. "We have our vows and they say our devotion to God and our good works must come first. We should deny ourselves those pleasures of the flesh."
Teresa had laughed at that and began to give her younger charge a lesson in the history of the Oder of the Mount – the true history. "The common story we tell is that our order was founded to give refuge to 'fallen women'. You know the type I mean?" Claire nodded – that version of history was given to every novice. It explained why the Order of the Mount devoted itself to "good works" as a kind of redemption. But, as Teresa explained, that was not quite right.
"The truth is that, some centuries in the past, there were a number of women living in a rural area. They were highly-sexed. You might even say they were nymphomaniacs. Nowadays they'd be called 'sluts'. And some of the priests in that region had become accustomed to providing those woman with a certain kind of relief."
"You mean the priests took advantage of those women?"
"Sort of," came the reply from Teresa. "Those priests were lonely men who found it easier to endure their rural postings when they had some extra perks. And these were women who really had no other way to deal with their inner demons than to provide a sexual service."
"I don't understand," Claire had said. "You mean..."
Teresa went on with the secret version of history. Their Order had been created with the primary aim of ensuring that these secret perversions remained hidden. The cover of "good works" had easily convinced the doubters that such women could be turned to an alternate path. This arrangement had the benefit of protecting the woman who, over time, had attracted the predations of other men who'd come searching for these notoriously horny women. As the years passed, the Order of the Mount had grown into a secret society for sexual freedom. Its secrets were known only to those admitted to the inner circle. Despite Claire's protestation, Teresa knew it all to be true. She'd seen the original records and knew that several of the nuns had fallen pregnant, including two who delivered children from the same bishop.
Claire still struggled to understand what she was being told. "Well that was in the past, I understand that. But now, my problem ...what do I do?"
