Ever since he'd been a little boy Jan had wanted to be a soldier. Now, fresh out of training he had been given his dream posting, to the Palace Guard. It was a tremendous honour for a country boy from a tiny village out in the sticks. Of course, it helped that he was highly disciplined, exceptionally tall, muscular and classically handsome -- very photogenic for the tourists. To most of Jan's fellow trainees, such a posting would have been considered deadly dull -- but he was delighted. His mother was bursting with pride that he would be serving the Royal Family in this way, the position carried immense prestige and, compared to being posted to some horrific war zone with the UN or NATO, it was extremely comfortable.
However, as Jan prepared for his first stint of night duty his sergeant major warned him of one potential risk. "Remember lad, the Palace grounds are closed at night so there are no outsiders but, despite that, apart from crossing with your fellow sentry every half-hour you are still required to stand completely still at attention. Now, some of the younger Royals seem to think it's amusing to put that to the test. But whatever they do or say in front of you, however much they try to provoke you, you must not react. If you do they'll report you. It's unfair, I know, but there it is."
By one-thirty in the morning Jan was finding the greatest problem was staying alert. He'd just crossed with his mate at the far end of the Palace as the city hall clock chimed the half-hour, and now he had another 30 minutes before he was finally relieved. Just as he was thinking this, he heard light footsteps on the gravel pathway to his right. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure emerge into the building's floodlighting. To his shock he realised he was being approached by Crown Princess Alexandra -- the most photographed woman in the world since the English Princess Di and, if rumours about her father's health were true, weeks from succeeding to the throne. She was dressed in a shimmering white full-length evening gown, sufficiently low cut to emphasise her famous cleavage, a short white fur jacket draped carelessly across her shoulders. As she tottered on her silver stiletto heels she did not appear to be entirely sober.
Jan expected the princess to bypass him without a glance, but to his slight alarm she stood facing him, the top of her head barely reaching the level of his chin. Her rich, sweet-smelling perfume filled his nostrils. He was even more surprised when she spoke, in a slightly slurred voice. "Hello soldier. I can't sleep, I've been to a reception for some dull prime minister from somewhere, and I'm not tired yet. So I decided to come and get some fresh air."
She then reached out a hand and squeezed Jan's bicep. Despite the cool of the evening Jan felt a slight sweat break out on his forehead. The beautiful young woman spoke again. "My, they're building them big at training school these days, aren't they! I wonder if you're fully in proportion?"
