For the rest of Saturday, I mulled over what had happened at my blonde lover's apartment. At times, I was angry at Jessi for being angry at me for nothing more than a dream. At other times, I was angry at myself for not being able to make a choice between Jessika and Jessi. I knew I could not keep Jessi if I continued my friends-with-benefits relationship with Jessika, but I kept trying anyway.
Invariably, my anger at myself would lead me back to anger directed at Jessi for giving me what still felt like an ultimatum, which would bring me back to be angry that all this had started because of a dream I had. What I tried not to think about at all was Jessi's declaration of love. It was not a surprise - we had danced around that topic before - but it was also a challenge for me to tell her how I really felt about her. Unfortunately, I was not as sure as she was, and further, I knew that telling her I loved her would just make my current situation all the worse.
My restless day became a restless evening. I checked my phone every few minutes, hoping for a message from Jessi. However, I did not receive any messages or emails from my blonde lover. Moreover, my rational mind knew that she would not be in contact with me for some time; unfortunately, I was irrationally hoping I was wrong and that a conciliatory text would pop up at any moment.
A little after 9:00pm, my phone pinged, indicating a text had arrived. I snatched it up but immediately saw the text was from Jessika, not Jessi.
"I am home and horny," the brunette had texted.
"Would you like me to come over?" I asked, not sure I was up to it but also not sure I wanted to be alone.
"God yes, but it's not a good time. It's that time of the month for this girl," she replied.
"That is not a problem for me," I informed her.
"It is for me," she sent back.
"I understand. Are you still coming over tomorrow?" I inquired.
"About that - can we go out for dinner and then back to your place?"
"Sure," I told her.
"Great. Pick me up at 6:00. And to answer your real question, I should be good to go tomorrow. And if I'm not, you'll definitely still get a blowjob. I know - that will be a fucking hardship for you. ;)" my curvy lover texted.
"I seriously do not mind doing more, regardless of the time of the month," I reiterated.
"It's just not my thing. It makes me feel icky," she explained.
"Okay. I will hope for more but settle for a blowjob." I texted.
"Settle, huh?" she responded.
"If I have to," I teased.
"Just you wait! If that is all we can do, I will show you it is not settling. The blowjobs I give are magnificent," Jessika teased me back.
"Well, the happy ending ones are quite nice," I admitted.
"You would bring that up," she wrote.
"Well, it was magnificent," I assured her.
"I have to go now. If we keep this up, I will not be able to stand it,"
"We could have phone sex," I suggested, thinking that might be just the thing to keep my restless evening from becoming a restless night.
"Not tonight. I am serious about feeling icky," she explained.
"Okay. I hope you have a good night," I wrote.
"Thanks. You too," she texted back.
It was several hours after my text exchange with Jessika before I was able to fall asleep. And when I did sleep, I woke frequently. I knew I had several dreams during that time, but the only one I remembered was one in which I was trying to reach Jessi through a variety of natural and man-made obstacles.
Although I was tired from my long night, I was up early. I tried to bury myself in work, but I was unable to distract myself sufficiently. I could not help thinking about Jessi and Jessika, even though I knew it was futile. I could not think of any solution, and I always ended up angry at myself, at Jessi, or at us both.
Around 2:00pm I was so exhausted that I was able to take a nap, and I woke somewhat refreshed three hours later. I showered and dressed, noting to myself that choosing clothes for dinner with Jessika was much easier than for those occasions I had been out with Jessi. I was by far less concerned with looking younger or what Jessika might think. I picked comfortable jeans and a dark blue sweater. When I left my house to pick up Jessika for dinner, I was in a better mood than any I had experienced since my situation with Jessi the morning before.
As I waited for my lovely brunette lover to come to the door, I was already anticipating the activities that would come later that evening. I had now doubt that spending time with Jessika would be a great way to get my mind off of Jessi, and that sex with my curvaceous lover would be an even better way. However, those thoughts were driven out of my mind when Jessika opened the door, her expression thunderous and by far more troubling than any of the instances in which Jessi had glared at me the day before.
"Hello Mark," Jessika said icily. "We need to talk."
"What's wrong...?" I started, but a flash of those now dark gray eyes stopped me from completing my question.
"I don't want to talk about it on at my front door, Mark," she explained. "So, please get your ass in here."
"Sure," I said, following Jessika into her apartment. I noticed two things: one, she was dressed in jeans and sweater, much as I was, but did not look ready to go out; and two, her body was tense and there was almost none of her normal sway to her walk. Still, her butt looked great, and I found myself hoping we could work through whatever was bothering her. What I did not suspect - but should have - is that what we had to work through was related to Jessi.
"Have a seat," Jessika suggested, gesturing to her couch.
"Okay," I agreed in what I hoped was a calming tone. Jessika sat in a chair by the couch rather than sitting next to me.
