When Jessika's alarm went off in the morning, I was not quite sure where I was. However, when I saw the lovely - and naked - brunette get out of bed and stretch, it all came back to me.
After stretching, Jessika turned back toward the bed and caught me staring at her. She grinned then turned again and walked into her bathroom, her hips swaying smoothly as she went. Sighing, I rolled over and looked at the clock, then groaned. It was just after 6:00am. If I had been home, I would have probably slept for at least a couple of more hours. I did not teach any classes on Friday, and my office hours were in the afternoon, so my Friday mornings tended to be quite relaxed. On the other hand, considering how problematic sleep had been for me that week, had I been home alone I might not have slept at all.
When I heard Jessika start the shower, it gave me an idea. I made myself get out of bed and walk into her now steamy bathroom. I saw the basic shape of her incredible body even through the frosted glass, and I smiled before I pulled open the door and stepped in.
"I don't have time to mess around, Mark," Jessika said in a matter-of-fact tone, but she moved back to give me more room in the shower.
"I just want to take a shower with you, and maybe rub soap all over your sexy body," I told the brunette as I stepped closer and then kissed her.
"I guess that's okay," she agreed.
For the next several minutes, we washed each other's hair, then bodies. I spent a little more time than necessary, perhaps, soaping up Jessika's breasts, which caused her nipples to harden. The brunette, for her part, spent perhaps more time than she needed to on my penis and scrotum, and I was not at all flaccid by the time she was done.
"It's a shame to leave with you with that, Mark," she grinned. "But I warned you."
"Maybe I will have to find someone to take care of it, since you do not have the time," I teased her.
Jessika's grin disappeared and her eyes grew cold as she stared at me. Then, without warning, she turned off the water, opened the shower door, and walked out. I stood there for a heartbeat, then I followed her. She was standing not two feet away, vigorously toweling herself off while she deliberately avoided looking my way.
"I was kidding, Jessika," I told her.
The brunette closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at me.
"Last night was really weird for me, Mark," she said. "I tried to tell you that before we fell asleep."
"I know," I admitted. "I should not have teased you."
"No, I shouldn't have gotten pissed," Jessika said, her eyes losing some of their glacial coldness. "It's just that I've never - and I mean never - been turned on by feeling jealous before, and I doubt it will happen again. Last night just had a really weird energy to it."
"So you did not mean what you said about wanting to be tied up, or, um, ravaged?" I asked.
The brunette's mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her face did, however, turn as red as I had ever seen it.
"Um, no, I meant all that," she said, not looking at me. "And I still do."
"So why are you so embarrassed about it?" I pushed.
"Because I'm standing here, in the light of day, in my bathroom, talking about wanting you to do, uh, that stuff to me," she explained, finally meeting my eyes.
"After all the things we have done..." I started.
"I can still get embarrassed about talking about them, yes," she finished with a weak smile.
"Okay," I said, unsure what else to do. "I'll just leave you alone and let you get ready."
About twenty minutes later, Jessika and I were eating toast in her kitchen when she said, "By the way, I'm still thinking about letting you take a video of us. I meant it that I'd not decided yet. But, you know my concern."
"I can ask someone on the IT staff how to encrypt a file so only people with the code can see it," I told her.
"Maybe that would be okay," she said, then smiled. "It'd make me feel better, I think."
"I will let you know what I find out," I said. "In the meantime, we could always start out with some light bondage, if you want. Maybe next weekend? We could go up to a cabin an old friend of mine has at a lake north of here. He rarely uses it, and I can check and see..."
"You mean for Valentine's Day?" Jessika asked, and her tone stopped me short.
"Well, for the weekend," I said, watching her eyes for her reaction. "And that would include Friday, which is Valentine's Day, but it would not be for that reason."
"I'm not doing anything with you on Valentine's Day, Mark," the brunette declared as she stared at me, her eyes defiant.
"It would not be for Valentine's Day," I tried to assure her. "It would be just time for us..."
"No Valentine's Day, Mark. Period."
"Okay, no Valentine's Day," I agreed. "We can go up there on Saturday and spend the night and explore..."
"No," Jessika told me emphatically. "Not next weekend."
"Do you have other plans?" I asked, which prompted a blazing glare.
"Fuck, no!" she snapped. "And I don't intend to, other than to go out with friends who I'm not fucking and who're in no danger of, well, getting the wrong idea."
"Oh," I said, as her concern suddenly became clear to me. "Don't worry, sexy. I will not get the wrong idea. It would just be us getting together for some kinky fun."
"I have to go now, Mark," the brunette informed me coolly. "Time for you to go, too."
"I did not mean to upset you," I told her as she stood at her front door.
Jessika looked down, shook her head, and sighed.
"I know, Mark," she said when she looked up at me again. "It's just that I need to keep our relationship where it is, because it's good for me like this, and going somewhere on Valentine's Day wouldn't be keeping it where it needs to be."
"Okay," I agreed, although, not for the first time, I wondered if Jessika might actually feel more for me than she really wanted to allow herself to feel. "I understand."
I also wondered exactly what it was that I felt for her. I knew it was not what I had felt for my ex-wife, and I knew it was not the same as what I felt for Jessi, but I also knew my relationship with the thirty-one year old brunette was very important to me, for the friendship as well as for the sex, and if she needed to keep it as it was, that was probably best for me as well.
"Thanks, Mark," she said as we walked out her door. "And you'll understand, then, that I may need to have some time away from the, um, benefits side of things, maybe for a couple of weeks. At least until after next weekend."
I almost objected and pointed out that there were days between now and Valentine's Day that we could be together, as well as days the week after. However, before I had a chance to say anything, I realized that she was making sure she kept some distance between us, just as she had done after our trip to Monterey. I might not agree with her reasoning or her time frame, but I decided in that moment it would be best to honor her wishes.
