Šī¸ JRydher, JRydher1
My best friend, Mike Davidson, was on the phone. We were friends from kindergarten through high school. Our parents had become close friends too. They were more like family than just friends. He called me to tell me that he had asked his girlfriend to marry him the prior night and she had said yes. I was so happy for Mike and Marissa. On top of that, he asked me to be his best man, which I, of course, accepted. And, that's when he told me.
"Eddie, there is just one little thing though."
"What's that?"
"In attempt to get closer to her. Marissa has asked Erin to be her maid of honor." There it was; Mike's sister Erin, who I absolutely despised and who equally despised me, was going to be attached to my hip on Mike and Marissa's wedding day. A long silence followed.
"Eddie? Did you hear what I said."
"Yes," I said in a barely audible answer. I was still in pain from having kicked the couch after Mike's announcement.
"So?"
"Hey, Mike. If it's what you guys want, I'm 100% behind you." In my head, I thought if I were behind Erin on a cliff, there's a 100% chance I would push her.
"I know it's not easy for you, Ed."
"It's no picnic for her either, I'm sure."
"Yeah, well then there's that."
"She reacted to it that well, huh?"
"Obviously she knew you were going to be my best man, but she never expected Marissa to ask her to be her MOH."
"Well, come the big day, everything will be fine. It's about the two of you not the two of us. And, if she should happen to go missing during the reception, well we can always look for her later."
"Oh boy."
"I am kidding. You know that. There would be way too many witnesses."
"Yeah, yeah. There's one other thing."
"I don't think you can top the last one, but go ahead."
"Well, Thanksgiving is in two months and we are having it here."
"That's really nice, Mike, but how does that concern me?"
"When I said we, I meant you, your parents, and your sister as well." Again, there's a long pause, though I learned my lesson and didn't kick anything.
"So, this will be like a rehearsal dinner, huh?"
"Not quite, but I wanted to give you a head up. Are you flying in or driving?"
"Driving. Planning on leaving that Monday morning to beat the Wednesday traffic." It was an eleven hour drive that I planned to split over two days.
"Cool. All right. Listen, I don't mean to cut you off, but we have some more calls to make, so I'll catch you later. Love you man."
"Love you too, bro, and congrats again."
I hung up and sat down on the couch of my apartment. Erin Davidson was a flat-out bitch. She was an asshole to her brother and me from the time we were kids. Being two years older than us, she thought she could treat us like dirt. When we got to high school, I finally started to give her some shit back and she did NOT like that one bit. She and her friends made my life miserable at times. I hadn't seen her since Mike's college graduation two years earlier and it was a pleasure. On top of everything else, she was drop-dead gorgeous, which made her even more annoying. Mike had told me that she was working in a design house in hopes of one day owning her own fashion house. She was doing pretty well for a 26-year old and she'd be the first to tell you that.
I worked as a news producer in the Research Triangle area in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. Work was always busy, so the two months went by quickly. As usual, the week before Thanksgiving was a bear. I had to work on Saturday, which left me only Sunday to pack. On top of everything else, a nor'easter was going to start heading up the coast Monday night, which meant I had to leave as early as possible on Monday morning. I was even considering driving straight through in one day.
Sunday went pretty much as planned and then I got a call from Mom that evening.
"Hi Eddie, are you all set for the drive home?"
"Hey Mom. Just about. The car is completely packed. Planning on leaving around 9 a.m."
"That's great, honey. You be sure to be safe and don't be flying on the highway."
"I won't, Mom." My Mom and I both knew I'd be going at least 10 miles over the speed limit.
"Speaking of flying. I was wondering if you could do me a favor."
"Of course, Mom. What's up?"
"Well, hmm...well, you know how that nor'easter is heading up the coast?"
"Of course. That's why I'm leaving so early tomorrow morning."
"Well...."
"Mom, what is it?" And, then she just blurted it out like those fast-talkers on TV ads.
"Mike's sister Erin was supposed to fly in on Tuesday, but because of the storm they've already cancelled her flight. And, she doesn't have a car and her parents don't want her driving that distance alone anyway, so could you pick her up and bring her up? You're the best, Eddie." I felt like had just been steamrolled into a flattened pancake.
"Mom, I would love to do this, but you know she and I hate each other, and it would be an incredible disaster from which I would never recover. And, it would ruin the holiday. There's just no way..." My Mom heard nothing after 'I would love to do this'.
"Thank you so much, dear. Margaret will be so happy. I'll text you all of Erin's contact information. Have to go now, honey. I love you. See you soon. Bye." Click. I dropped the phone on the floor. What just happened? What did I do to deserve this punishment? I'm glad Margaret, Erin's Mom, will be soooooo happy, because I won't be and neither will that bitch, Erin. A couple of minutes later my phone buzzed. Mom had texted me Erin's number and other pertinent information, including the fact I was going to have to drive over an hour out of my way to get her.
~~~
I got into my car the next morning in a rotten mood to say the least. I always enjoyed driving. It gave me time to think, to relax, to listen to some good tunes. Now, that was going to be ruined by having to spend hours in the car with the bitchiest bitch on the planet. I had worked myself up into a pretty good lather by the time I got to Erin's. I Arrived at her apartment house a little over 75 minutes later and beeped the horn several times to alert her I was there. She didn't stand a chance in hell of having me go up to get her. She came out of the front door of the building and was struggling with her luggage. I casually stepped out after releasing the rear hatch on my SUV.
"A little help," she said, a scowl creasing her forehead..
"Oh, you need help?" Her glare almost made erupt in laughter. I casually strolled over and picked up a suitcase. "Geez. What do you have in here, a book of all your spells?"
"Fuck you."
"Not if you were the last woman on earth." Yeah, we were off to a rip-roaring start. After exchanging some more unpleasantries, we were packed up and ready to go. Erin stuck in ear buds in and stared out the window. I turned on the car radio and blasted some Foo Fighters. Nothing like Dave Grohl screaming to drown out whatever she was listening to. I didn't even care that it was too loud for me. We were driving a little over an hour when the traffic came to a sudden halt. I saw on the GPS that an accident had occurred five miles ahead. I turned FF off and tried to get more info on the delay. It turned out to be a bad accident and they were closing the highway in both directions. All cars were detoured off the highway on an exit about three miles from where we were. The next entrance wasn't for another 75 miles, which meant backroads and having to head west instead of northeast. And, we were heading right towards the oncoming storm. We got on another highway, which proved fruitless as well, and, of course, resulted in another disagreement when I exited.
"What are you doing?" Erin said in a not so quiet voice.
"We can't sit here for hours. We'll run out of gas."
"And, we'll be fucked if you get stuck on one of these back roads."
"You want to go ahead and get in someone else's car?"
