Nothing was the same once the bombs dropped, war and destruction took hold. Those who fought died, those who fled tried to survive, searching for something safe. I didn't flee, I didn't need to, I was one of the lucky ones. I lived in an area almost untouched by war, and so far out of reach that it hadn't been taken over, raided, looted by people. I didn't have a lot but I was able to get by. While it was safe enough, it didn't mean there were no worries - there were people out there who given the chance or opportunity would take anything you had, because survival at any cost was our lives now.
It had been months since I had seen another human, even longer since id spoken to one. Once or twice i had see people, far from my home, in the woods while collecting supplies. I never engage, I never let myself be seen. It was too dangerous - trusting someone not to take advantage, hurt you or even kill you to get what they needed from you...it wasn't the way things were now. There was no trust anymore. I had learned that protecting my peace was more important. Which is why the day I saw him, I took the ultimate risk...
I heard him before I saw him, the sound of tired dragging feet, a slow effort filled walk that told me he had been on his feet a long time. I went to the window and opened the curtain slightly, just enough to get a look. He was so far away from the nearest town or village, why had he come this far? what was he looking for?. What I saw was a man, he was dirty head to toe, his shoes looked very worn down. His face was barely visible, a layer of dirt, I could see he had dark hair, it was short and messy. More than anything he looked tired, like every step he took was visible pain. I felt a pang of guilt. Here I am, in my home, clean, fed and warm. I closed the curtain for a moment, looking at him didn't help the situation. My brain kept repeating, you shouldn't help...its dangerous...protect yourself...but I knew there was nothing beyond this point, he could be walking for days more and still never find anything or anyone. No one would help him. Against my better judgement I made a quick decision with one simple thought - what if it was me?
I opened my door and made eye contact with him, the look of mild fear mixed with relief crossed his face. I instantly felt better, if he seemed scared then surely he wasn't gonna hurt me. I quickly walked across the road, looking around to make sure no one else was watching, I approached him slowly once I was close enough.
"Are you okay? Do you need some water?"
He studied me for a moment before responding in a dry husky tone.
"Yes, yes please"
I gestured my hand towards my front door,
"We need to go inside, its safer there"
He simply nodded and followed me across the road to my house. Once inside I locked the door and pointed towards the living room. He slowly walked into the room, I thought he was still moving slow from tiredness but he was taking in the room with his mouth open. I knew what he was thinking, where he has come from, a sight like this isnt common anymore, a normal home. I gave him a moment and then started on helping.
"Please have a seat, im going to get you some water, and something to eat - you must be hungry"
He looked like he wanted to say a thousand things but he just nodded.
When I got back from the kitchen, a large glass of water in one hand and a bowl of warm soup in the other, some left over bread from this morning on the side. His eyes widened, he was taking in the smell - it was a basic soup but for someone that hungry it must smell like heaven. I put both items on the table, his hands moved quick, he ripped the bread apart with his hands. He devoured the soup so quickly, I sat in silence watching. I wanted to ask questions about what he had seen, where he had been, where he was going but I didn't. It was my first time in the presence of a man in years, I didn't want to get too involved. I was going to help just enough. He finished eating and drank the whole glass of water in one go, huge gulps. He was done, and now we were sitting in silence together. It felt nice.
"Thank you" he said.
"Its dangerous out there, there are people who will hurt you...there's nothing beyond this point, no help....look this isn't something I normally do. A day or two to recover and then you'll have to be on your way"
He looked nervous at the prospect of going outside again, his eyes instinctively went to the door. I continued..
"You can have a shower now if you like, I can wash and dry your clothes so they're clean. You'll feel better after a shower"
"That's very kind of you" he said. And he meant it, I could tell he hadn't seen much kindness on his journey here so far. I felt proud of myself for a moment, but then remembered that my kindness is limited too. For my own safety, he would need to leave.
He left his clothes outside the bathroom, and I took them and washed them in the sink, the brown water ran off his clothes...miles and miles of walking, I was washing it all away. Its the least I can do. He'll be fed, had water, washed and have somewhere safe to sleep for at least a night. That's the best I can do. By time I was done washing his clothes he was coming out of my bathroom, now he was clean I could really see him. Clean brown hair, kind eyes, he had facial hair..in ordinary circumstances I would have found him incredibly attractive but I couldn't let myself even think about that now. He was wearing a towel around his waist and there were droplets of water all over his body. He was thinner than he should be. I felt that guilty feeling again - I wanted to stare more, I wanted to look at him for hours and take him all in but I dropped my eyes to the floor.
"Your clothes will be dry soon, there's a t-shirt here but unfortunately I don't have any pants, you're welcome to stay in the towel by the fire to stay warm though"
Again he nodded.
We both walked into the sitting room to sit by the fire, he was mesmerised once again, heat is not something he used to either. We sat in silence again for a moment, I was beginning to think he was the quiet silent type when he suddenly began to speak.
"I haven't seen anything like this for a very long time, haven't felt water...let alone hot water on my skin in....I don't know how long"
