As I sit here staring at the dim glow of a computer screen, trying to collect my erroneous thoughts onto metaphorical paper, I am unsure of where to begin my story. To start from the beginning would be too long, so I'll start from the middle.
My wife Julie and I have been married for 7 years. She is without a doubt a wonderful woman and caring wife. She and I were high school sweethearts, each other's first love and have been together for almost 15 years. Our lives have been that of a fairly standard couple. We both hold bachelor's degrees, earn decent incomes and come from loving and supportive families.
However, for the last several years we have been trying with no luck to conceive our first child. Having been to fertility doctors all over the state has confirmed that there is nothing wrong with either of us physically, which has made the problem all the more frustrating. Through advice of doctors, we have been having sex the same way for almost 2 years now; the same missionary positions that are less erotic than you'll find in a supermarket romance novel.
This has left me, shall we say, unsatisfied. Sex is no longer erotic or fun; it is a duty required of me when she is most "ready" that amounts to nothing more than habit. Not only this, but the tension of the situation has almost boiled over, causing almost constant bickering about the littlest of things. Anyone in a long term relationship will know that sometimes when something just isn't right the smallest little inconvenience or misuse of words can blow up into a catastrophic explosion of emotion.
Because of this, my mind has been tortured. I've always been the person who's condemned friends who've engaged in infidelity yet I can't help myself looking a little too long at attractive women in the gym or walking on the street. I find myself being slightly flirtatious with the receptionist at work or the saleswoman at the car dealership. I've tried to pass this off as a mid-life thing, that is until I met her.
We were attending a Christmas party for a long-time friend (at least I was, we had yet another argument and Julie opted to stay home). Not long after arriving, while working on my third glass of scotch and mingling with friends I eyed an absolutely stunning brunette out of the corner of my eye. I turned and smiled at her, which was returned, and went back to my conversation trying not to make it seem obvious. It didn't take her long to get the idea and soon she was sauntering across the room directly towards me. Her seductive hips swaying side to side as she walked, barely contained by her tight black cocktail dress. As she came closer I came to realize she couldn't be older than 25, but her eyes looked as though she had seen more than her years. She broke the ice.
"Hi there" she casually remarked.
I tried to make it seem as though I had barely noticed her approach with a fake cough "Oh, hi how are ya. Do I know you? You look familiar."
"You don't remember me Tom? I'm Danielle, Bobby's niece." I almost hit the floor. Standing before me, doing terribly dirty things in my mind was the niece of my long time friend that I hadn't seen in probably 10 years. "Holy shit! Danielle? Really? The last time I saw you, you were playing little league. You sure have grown..." My voice trailed off, hoping my last remark didn't come across as sleazy as I thought it had in my mind. I tried to do the math in my head quickly. She couldn't be older than 20.
She giggled, looking downward slightly then back up at me, batting these perfectly groomed eyelashes. Her emerald colored irises seemed to pierce my defenses.
"A lot of things have changed since then. I'm graduating from college soon. The real world is coming soon, I'm a little nervous, especially in this economy." Her voice trailed off in my head. While one half of my brain was trying to remind myself that she was my friend's girl, the other half was being mesmerized by her very womanly features. Perhaps it was the scotch, but my good sense was nonexistent. Everything from her slightly curled hair, to her perfect teeth, down to her elegantly long legs was drawing me in like Odysseus to the sirens. Even her smell, I can still remember her perfume. It was the last straw that weakened my defenses.
"I see that. Don't worry you'll be fine if you work hard enough. Are you going to be living nearby? Perhaps I can give you a hand finding a job?" I thought I was so clever, posing as a helpful gentlemen while extracting personal information.
"Yes. I'm looking for a place on the cheap on the other side of town until I get my finances in order. Let me give you my number..." I was dumbfounded, but not too much so that I pulled my Blackberry out of my jacket pocket and handed it to her to add herself.
"I've got to get going before I'm too sloshed to drive, but call me anytime Tom, we should catch up." She handed my phone back, gently caressing the top of my hand as she walked off with a smile that could kill. I'm not sure if she was giving me a show or not, but I couldn't help watching her ass go from side to side as she did so.
Several weeks passed from the Christmas party and the holidays came and went. I found myself wasting time at work simply looking at her name in my contact list, spending hours debating with myself about whether or not to call.
Late one night, after another emotionless romp with Julie when her temperature was right and the moon was full or whatever the hell the doctor told her to do, I decided to make a call. Leaving Julie asleep in bed I quietly crept down the hallway to my office, closing the door. It was almost 11 but remembering my college days, I was hopeful she was still awake.
"Hello?" I struggled to answer.
"HELLO?" She repeated with slight indignation.
"Hi Danielle, it's Tom." Her tone changed very quickly.
"Oh, hey there Tom, what's going on?" I had been out of the dating game for a long time, so foreplay was just not what came to mind.
"Not much, I was checking my schedule for the week and I have a few openings. I was hoping you could drop by the office and we could talk about finding a place for you after you graduate".
"Oh that's fantastic! You've always been so sweet to me. But isn't your office in downtown? It's really hard for me to get there during the day. How about you meet me at a bar?" This girl wasn't fucking around. My assumptions were right on the money. I hesitated for a moment before answering.
"...Sure. There are a few by the college. Tomorrow night? 5:30?" My voice probably sounded giddy.
"That sounds awesome. Text me when you're close. G'night Tom".
"Night..."
The following day was agonizingly long. It felt as though it took the full 8 hour day just to make it to lunch. I spent most of the day playing over in my head what I wanted to say, hoping to sound topical enough that she wouldn't think of me as an old man. As excited as I was for 5 to come around and as much as I was anticipating the evening, something strange came over me when the time finally came.
I reached forward to turn off my computer monitor and for the first time in what seemed like months I noticed my wedding ring. Suddenly reality had hit me like a ton of bricks; with all the time spent fantasizing over this young thing, I had forgotten who would actually be hurt by this. I sat back in my chair, questioning my own actions. Collecting my thoughts, I turned off my phone and drove home, realizing my error.
On the drive back I had a new fire for making my marriage work. I thought about all the things I could improve on, all the ways in which I could be a more sensitive and caring husband. I even stopped by the liquor store and picked up a more than moderately price bottle of wine to surprise Julie with. Pulling into the driveway, I convinced myself it was a new day for us. I was wrong.
Immediately after opening the door I could sense what felt like a cloud of anger and depression. Julie emerged into the foyer with an all-too familiar scowl on her face.
"You were supposed to be home 30 minutes ago. I've been waiting. We've got to get a try in today."
"I brought wine..." I was a little hurt.
"You know I can't have alcohol while we're trying to conceive. What if I'm already pregnant? Now come on let's go before it's too late" And just like that, the new outlook I had on my marriage was right out the window.
I followed her to the bedroom reluctantly. She has positioning herself in the very same position. I remember telling myself I still thought she was beautiful, but the lack of emotion in the room made it very hard to even think of her that way. I undressed and climbed on top of her. What we did was entirely mechanical and reactionary. After several minutes of methodical thrusting, my thoughts soon returned to Danielle. I could smell her perfume again, see that perfectly high and tight ass walking away from me. Soon I was fucking her, not my wife. My cock twitched inside of her and my thrusts became stronger, faster. I thought of what her young breasts must look like from above, bouncing up and down. Most of all I thought of how aggressive she was, how much she seemed to want me, what she must act like in the heat of passion, fucking with wild, young energy...
Before I knew it, I was cumming. It was the most amazing feeling I'd had in a long time. But soon I remembered it was Julie staring back at me. Her breathing was heavy and hair messy. I slowly rolled off of her and lay beside her. We sat for a few minutes with no noises but our breathing. She broke the silence first.
"That was...nice"
'It was the most energetic fucking we'd had in months and the best word she could come up with was 'nice'.
"Yeah" I casually responded. "It was very nice. Good night". I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. Part of me was saddened by the lost attempts to rekindle my marriage, only to find it was as dry and tasteless as I had remembered. However, the other part of me couldn't get Danielle out of my mind. I realized I was still hard. The thought of sleeping with that gorgeous brunette had left me more aroused than I could ever remember. Soon I was cursing myself for blowing her off, knowing how hurt she must have been. I decided I would make it up to her. I had to have her. With those thoughts I drifted off to sleep.