Episode I: I Didn't Intend To
Rhonda sat on the edge of her bed trying to contain a growing panic but failing by the minute.
She knew she'd fucked up and it was such a classic fuck up too. A real cliche. Bored wife at an out of town conference, has a one-nighter with a guy she meets at the hotel bar. Happens everyday. Hell, probably happens every hour somewhere.
The problem was the guilt. The guilt was killing her. It was like the pressure in a boiler with no release valve... building and building. At first, she thought she was going to be okay with it. Even the morning after, when she could still smell the guy's cum on her, she'd felt only a tingle in her loins, not a cramp in her conscience.
In fact, the aroma of, what was his name? Oh God, she'd forgotten his name. No wait, Sam. That was it, the aroma of Sam's seed had been enough to make her diddle herself as soon as she woke up. In a matter of but a minute or two, she'd climaxed, all the while reliving the night before.
It helped that hotels turned her on anyway. She didn't know why, they just did. She normally spent her alone time when out of town, playing with herself. On some trips, she could hardly wait for the official business to conclude so she could get to her room.
Her coworkers thought she was a total bore because she rarely wanted to party with them. But why drink with a bunch of people she saw everyday when she could get naked in her room and fuck her life-like dildo in every position she could think of and typically, on every piece of furniture.
Sometimes, depending on what floor she was on, she would open the curtains and screw herself silly with her breasts mashed against the window or her ass bouncing off the glass with her toy suction cupped to it. She never did this when in a ground floor room, of course. But also, if the room was so high that it would be impossible for anyone to catch a glimpse, it wasn't any fun either.
Rhonda noticed that tingle down low again and felt like slapping herself. Here she was contemplating how her libido had put her marriage at risk, and she was getting horny again. She wasn't normally like this. She'd only had sex with a handful of people before getting married. Well, maybe a couple of handfuls, and now, at thirty-five, what sort of a slut was she turning into?
The guilt had started on the ride home. They'd no sooner gotten on the road when the remorse sank into her belly along with her free continental breakfast, but the regret was proving far harder to digest than the bagel she'd had. It only grew on the four hour ride back in the van. One of the other teachers asked Rhonda if she was alright because she was so quiet. She made up something about indigestion.
Now at home, she was still sitting on her side of the bed when her husband, Greg walked into their bedroom. He gave her a peck on the forehead and told her it was good to have her home before he walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
She was already prepared to go to sleep, though she wasn't tired. Normally she didn't wear much to bed but she'd absentmindedly chosen her most modest nightie. It was long sleeved and covered her from the neck down to just above the knees. It was probably meant to stop mid thigh but Rhonda was short at only five feet even. In spite of the garment's coverage, Greg always told her it was hot because it was white and almost shear. Innocent and dirty at the same time, he would say.
She could hear him brushing his teeth and her stomach did a little flip when she realized that she was going to fess up to what she'd done.
After Rhonda had been dropped off around lunch time, she'd been home alone all day wrestling with her shame, waiting for Greg to come home from a late-ish night at work. She had told herself a million times that she should just live with her indiscretion and take her secret to the grave, but now that he was here she knew she couldn't. She couldn't live with this. She was going to throw herself on her husband's mercy.
Shortly, Greg came back into the room and sat on his side of the bed, but Rhonda didn't turn to face him.
"Hey, I've got to tell you something." she heard herself say.
Oh my God! I'm actually doing this, she thought to herself. Her panic was near absolute now.
She felt the bed move and knew that he was turning towards her.
"No." she said. "Stay over there. I think this will be easier if we aren't facing each other."
Rhonda felt the bed move again as Greg shifted back.
"Okay." he said, after a second or two. "But you're freaking me out a little."
A silence began to drag on between them and finally, just when he started to ask what was going on, she started talking, the words all just falling out in a flurry.
"I had sex with someone. At the conference. I didn't intend to when I went. I don't know what came over me. I've never done anything like this before and I'm so, so sorry. I'll never do it again. I'd do anything to take it back. And I'll do anything to make it better. We can go to counseling or I can just see a shrink. Whatever you want. I'll never go out of town again. Please, please, don't leave me. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
Rhonda didn't think she had any more breath in her after that speech, but she held what remained in her aching chest as another silence grew. Finally, after a brief eternity, Greg spoke.
"Was it someone you work with?" he asked.
She couldn't figure out his tone of voice. It was very even. Controlled.
"No. It was a guy at the hotel. He was there for some other business." she answered.
More silence.
"Are you planning on seeing him again?" Greg asked.
"No. No. I'm never doing anything like this again." she promised.
Truthfully, she'd barely remembered his first name, had never gotten his last, and they hadn't exchanged numbers so she couldn't have seen him again even if she wanted to.
"Are you unhappy with me?" her husband asked, still in that even tone.
"Oh my God, not at all, honey. I love you." she answered, but she knew her response had taken a fraction of a second too long in coming.
It was quiet again and Rhonda was sure that her life was on the cusp of coming apart at the seams. A twelve year marriage hanging in the balance, all because she suddenly developed impulse control issues. She hated herself.
"I know we haven't been having sex as much since I started the business. We haven't had much time and I'm tired almost every night." Greg said.
Something in the way he'd spoken made her think that there was another question to follow, so she waited.
"So I assume," he began, "you were just horny. I mean, do you want to be with someone else? Are you wanting to fall in love with someone else?"
At this point, she almost turned to face him but her own reply spilled out before she could decide.
"No, no, no! Not at all." she pleaded. "I guess I'm turning into some kind of whore or something. You know, I usually just get myself off in my room but I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry. What do you want from me? I'll do anything."
"For now, just keep answering my questions." he said, in a voice that was closer to stern this time.
"Okay. Okay, anything."
"Are you unhappy with me, sexually?" he asked, sounding in control again.
"No. Just with our frequency, and I know it's not your fault. You're working so hard, and I'm even too tired sometimes. And it's no excuse for what I did. I'm not saying it is, I'm not. I'm really, really sorry."
There was silence again and this time, Rhonda couldn't help but fill it.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love our life together, you and me and Genie." she said, close to tears now.
Genie was their ten year old daughter who was off spending two weeks at Rhonda's parent's house now that summer break had started. The girl was a hundred miles away, blissfully ignorant of the fact that her life could change course in the next few minutes.
Rhonda audibly sniffled when she seriously considered that they might ultimately split up over her transgression.
"Don't fall apart on me. I have more questions. Don't cry." Greg said, stern again.
"Okay. Anything you want." Rhonda promised.
"Some of my questions may be tough to answer, but I'm not going to ask if I don't want to know, so just be honest."
