The drive home had not been a pleasant one. It wasn't even the traffic. It had been a long week. Erik had spent so much overtime that I'd barely been able to see him. Well, that wasn't quite true. He came home at a "normal" hour on Tuesday, but he spent all night on the phone, working on the computer. On Wednesday I tried to just let him know I missed my husband, but somehow that became a shouting match. When it all boiled over, he came back to our bedroom and apologized for being so insensitive, even though we both knew it wasn't just his fault. After he had calmed me down some, and said countered what he knew I was thinking.
"Allie, you're my wife, I'm not trying to avoid you."
Did he have to be so calm?
"I know," I sniffed. "But sometimes it doesn't feel like you even live here anymore."
"Yeah, well, when this is over, I'll make it up to---" He looked up, the phone was ringing. I didn't see him the rest of the night.
I replayed that scene a couple of times on the way home. It'd be over soon, just stop focusing on it. I came inside leaving my shoes at the door, (yeah my calves looked great in them, but I was so happy to get my feet free). Mail call, what did we have today? Bill, bill, Second notice (How the hell did that happen?), birthday card. The card was for Erik, half a month late. Nice gesture though.
I was not looking forward to another dinner alone, but I didn't really have an option tonight: My best friend Jen was busy; her kids were having some sports thing. Darlene across the street was out of town. An unexpected sigh escaped from my lips. Did every one of my girlfriends have a better social life than me? I thought there might be something on. Maybe that Lopez/Gere movie . . . .
The sound of the door opening interrupted my train of thought. Even though he was home, I thought it was better to not bother him too much or he'd be up all night, but he'd better at least have dinner with me or else...
He came into the kitchen, up from behind me, "Well honey, don't worry," I said, "I won't bother you tonight, but I don't feel like cooking and I know you don't have the time. How's about Chinese?"
I got no response. Instead all I heard was the thud of his briefcase hitting the ground and footsteps coming closer. His hands wrapped around my waist, the rest of him pressed against my back. I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder.
"Does this mean you've got the night off?" I asked him, I couldn't keep the amusement out of my voice. He pressed closer against me. His right hand pressed lightly against my stomach. His left thumb pressed against my chin nudging my head sideways, and a little up. He pressed into me and held me there, just on the forceful side of gentleness. It was nice, if a bit over eager. We parted, and he exhaled deeply. His breath tickled my neck.
"Missed you too sweetie." I almost giggled. He kissed me again, deeper this time. Just a little brush of his tongue against my lips slipped in. When he pulled away this time, I saw his eyes, and they almost scared me. They were wild, just..... uncontrolled. He breathed deeply, and I swear I heard a growl. Then his arms tightened, and I flew upwards. I was being carried, rather unceremoniously I might add, out of the kitchen.
"Erik."