"So, I'm feeling like a total slut and my head was really screwed up again, so I decided to go to the gym to work out. I was doing laps in the pool when I saw this guy coming out of the locker room. Great body, and I could see this enormous cock in the front of his swimming suit. He probably saw me staring at it. We started a nervous conversation, and he asked if I wanted to get a late lunch. I really needed to see what that monster looked like, and OMG! He was huge! Probably like the guy you had Summer, but he definitely didn't have a hair trigger!" The girls all laughed. "We got as far as his car and then started making out in the parking lot. Once I had his pants open and saw him erect, I just had to have him inside of me. We had sex right there in his car. It hurt like Hell at first, but he was patient with me until I finally adjusted to his size. After a few minutes, he told me that he was close, so I got off of him and let him cum in my mouth."
"So, there's my confession. Secrets stay right here, right?"
The silence in the room was deafening! Each of the girls was stunned at what they had just heard from Becca, and each was more than a little wet! And five of the six couldn't wait to get home to their fingers, vibrators, or a nice juicy cock. Five of the six that is.
And so, there was only one terrified friend remaining who hadn't shared a story yet, and Emily's mind was racing. A hasty escape was her last option. Emily allowed her full glass of Cabernet to spill onto her white skirt, and made a quick run to the bathroom to try to rinse it out before a stain set in. What she did might have been a little obvious to her friends, but it was a legitimate exit strategy and saved her from the embarrassment of not having anything to share. Nothing. Not one single story. For most of her life she had prided herself on her self-control. Of being 'moral.' Of keeping herself 'pure' for her future husband. But at that moment, she was feeling more than a little embarrassed that her sex life had been painfully vanilla.
It wasn't that she was a prude. She had had a lot of dates and even had a couple of steady boyfriends before she met her husband. Most of the guys had been given access to her tits while they made out of course, and a few of them had even been allowed to grind themselves against her enough for them to cum in their pants. She had regularly gotten naked with those two steady boyfriends, but never let it get past fingering and hand jobs with them, even though both of those guys had begged her for more, and probably broke up with her partly because she wouldn't give it to them. Nothing that she had done with them would be considered 'crazy.' It was all normal things that two normal people in a normal relationship would do with and for each other. But no stories worthy of sharing with friends ever happened. They were her own very personal and very private memories of early romantic moments of sexual discovery before she was with Mike. Memories that she had no intention of sharing with him or with anyone. But she had committed herself to being a 'good girl' and had been determined, for her own personal reasons, that until there was a ring on her finger, she wasn't going to go any further.
Then she met her husband. She just assumed that his past sex life had been pretty typical and that he had probably gone a lot further with other girls before they started dating, and she really didn't want to know anything about that. No reason to create any insecurities or self-doubts. That old stuff from their individual lives really didn't matter to her anyway, so the two just didn't talk about their sexual past.
But sadly, they actually didn't talk much about sex at all, and so both just assumed that the other was getting what was wanted in the bedroom. Mike had tried to push the envelope a few times early on in their relationship, but Emily's body-language had told him that he was clearly asking her for too much, so he backed off and eventually kind of gave up trying. Emily interpreted this to mean that he had lost interest in any sexual variety, even though that was actually far from the truth. And Mike took her reluctance to mean that she didn't find him as sexually interesting as she had the guys before him, even though she clearly loved him. Both assumed and neither shared. Big mistake! Consequently, their sex life was very bland and far from adventurous. Missionary position two or three times a month worked just fine for them, whether they needed it or not, and they never explored or even suggested trying anything new. Mike got his occasional orgasm with her, which he supplemented with regular masturbation when he was alone, and Emily took care of her own needs while in the shower or with her fingers in the middle of the night as he slept. Neither asked for more from the other, so with the passage of a few years of marriage, their sex life had gotten very predictable. And it worked for them both. At least as far as either was willing to share.
+++
Mike knew the look. He had been dozing on the sofa after watching his favorite team get hammered during an away game and woke up to the sound of the garage door closing. When he saw the expression on his wife's face and the stain on her wet skirt, he knew it would be best if he just gave her space. Emily's eyes told him that there was a story and that she would share when she was ready. No words were spoken. Mike stood and took her hand in his as they climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Emily was shaking. Whatever it was had hit her pretty hard.
"Will you just hold me, Mike?" was all she could make herself say as her body pressed up against his in their bed. A few moments later, Mike's breathing was slow and steady as his arm draped over her. At least one of them would be rested in the morning.
+++
In every couple there is always one who is the gatekeeper -- the one who is more reserved, the one whose limits are lower than the other's, the one who is most likely to say 'no.' She had always been the gatekeeper and was content in that role. That is until she heard all of her closest girlfriends sharing their wild sexcapades and realized that she had denied herself from exploring an entire side of her sexuality. Not completely of course, but almost. Worse yet though, was the realization that she had also denied Mike from exploring that part of his humanity as well, and she wondered what he really thought about what he was missing was her. Emily felt a slight pain in her gut, wondering if there was a buried part of him that resented her, if even a little, and it hurt.
From the time she had her first make-out session, Emily's attitudes about sex had always been very reserved. Those naughtier things were going to be saved to do with her future husband, but only if she had to. It had always puzzled her, though, that even the "good" boys wanted to do stuff with her that they had all been taught was sinful. But as 'dates' became 'boyfriends' she finally justified in her mind that hand stuff below the belt wasn't really 'sex' anyway, so she always made sure that her boyfriends had gotten their release before they parted for the night. She had felt really guilty, especially the first time, when a boyfriend's exploring hands found just the right spot and sent her body into orgasm. It didn't take very long for that guilt to go away though, and she learned to enjoy having occasional orgasms too, as long as it was only from their fingers! But Emily was always much more concerned that her boyfriends were satisfied than she was about her own pleasure. And she always knew where her limit was, and she never crossed it.
Over time, Emily had silently wondered if what she believed was really true, though. She kind of envied what her friends were doing when they went out on dates -- especially when they talked about some of the things that the guys had done to them in their dorm rooms or in the backseat of their cars. And she envied that her friends weren't afraid to get naked with their dates whenever they felt like it and that they didn't seem to feel shame or guilt or embarrassment when they did. Sometimes she regretted that she had limited herself so much. 'Good girls' weren't supposed to get horny or ask for anything sexual, right? Maybe she was wrong.
Emily's best friend had started way too early and had made a man out of too many guys to count. She had been lucky to avoid pregnancy or catching any STI's, and she somehow got through those years unscathed. Once she was free of her restrictive parents, she really went wild in college and did some crazy things with both guys and girls that Emily didn't even know was possible. But in her final year of college, she got religion, closed her legs and mouth, and after graduation, moved away to start a new life. She married a nice guy, and they had a happy life together. Emily always wondered how her friend's husband could accept the life that she had left behind. Even though her friend had been very promiscuous, they seemed like the perfect couple, and he didn't seem to be bothered at all by her past with others. Maybe she had never told him. Maybe his past had been similar, but she doubted it. Or maybe their relationship was a whole lot more colorful than she realized. Regardless, her friend had found happiness in her marriage AND had enjoyed a whole lot of sex along the way to the altar, too. Maybe she and Mike owed it to themselves to find out a few things as well.
Around 4:00am, Emily gave up on the possibility of falling asleep. She quietly exited the bedroom and fired up her search engine, determined to see for herself some of the forbidden fruit that she -- they -- had been missing. She wasn't really sure what search terms to use, but within a few minutes had landed on a porn site that seemed to have most of the answers to her questions. An hour or so later, she had seen more sexual variety than she ever thought possible, and her feelings of dread at what she had denied Mike over the years became even stronger. Suddenly, she realized that she had always been the one to resist and that she was rarely -- okay, never -- the one to initiate with him. She saw a bunch of things on her screen in close-up detail that they weren't doing but that she was pretty sure he had thought of and probably wanted to try. Maybe things that he had already gotten from the girls before her. Some were even things that he had asked for early on in their relationship and that she had denied him. Things he just never asked for from her anymore. Things that her friends had all talked openly about doing with their dates and with their husbands without reservation. Things that were absent from the bedroom for Emily and Mike.
