Michelle was in a waiting room that looked like it was from a magazine cover. The walls were covered in paintings and the only two chairs were facing a small circular table. On that table, an assortment of books written by the man who she was here to see. Sean Fittings, a revered psychotherapist who focused on alienation and loneliness as the cause of much of the modern day malaise. Michelle had become an avid reader of his during her master's degree. He rejected the idea that depression and anxiety were intrinsic, instead focusing on the environmental influences that made people feel isolated and under pressure in our modern world.
It was at this point that the door to the main office opened, and Sean Fittings walked through. He was a well out together man in his mid thirties, wearing just a nicely fitted buttoned shirt rolled up to reveal forearms that showed he took care of himself. He looked around, spotted Michelle sitting on one of the two large leather chairs, and smiled. "Michelle Tempte I assume?" She nodded and he beckoned her inside. The office was just as she imagined. Old school Freudian with bookcases lining the walls and a long couch tilted at one side for the clients to lounge on while they ponder their problems. A huge mahogany desk was on the side with the windows, but on the desk was just a simple laptop.
"I really appreciated your letter," Dr. Fittings said. "I have to be honest, I'm only interviewing you and one other woman at the moment. Most candidates just didn't have the understanding I expected." The words sounded elitist but the tone was just matter of fact. "Anyway, let's get to it! As you know I have a lot of demand for my services and up until this point I haven't delegated anything except my scheduling. As discussed in the job posting, I need a partner who can collaborate with me and reduce the workload a bit. I would start you off with just one or two clients and we would go from there."
There was a pause and Michelle guessed this was her time to talk. "Yes, well, that sounds like it would work very well for me. I know your method quite well and, well, I would really love the opportunity to learn from you and help people." She hadn't come across quite as confident as she had meant to, but Fittings seemed happy with the response.
"I'm not one to beat around the bush Ms. Tempte, I leave that to my gardeners." He smiled and Michelle realised that was a joke and let out a nervous laugh. "This job isn't just to reduce workload on me or to allow me to take on more clients. In fact it's much more ambitious than that. It's part of a book I'm writing on a new method of therapy I've developed specifically tailored to men. Not just any men though, this is for men who suffer from social anxiety and often have some comorbidities. I won't go into all the details now but there is a demographic of men who I've become aware of that are ill-treated by mainstream psychotherapy as well as my usual approach. I'm hoping you can help me change that."
Michelle considered his words. A new approach? What was wrong with the old approach? And what could she possibly bring to the table that he wasn't able to?
"Well" said Michelle tentatively. "I would love to learn about this new approach and I'm very interested in helping you develop it." Michelle felt that her response seemed adequately confident.
"Yes well, there's a bit of a catch." Dr. Fittings said, "let me just get into it. The demographic I'm concerned with is virgins."
"Virgins?" Michelle said before thinking.
"Yes, virgins. You see a certain subset of men go into their twenties without gaining much confidence with women - we are discussing heterosexual men here obviously - they fail to gain this confidence and it can lead to many problems in their lives. Now you might think, why not just go see a prostitute?"
Michelle could feel a knot start to grow in her stomach. She had not expected this turn in the conversation.
"But see the issue with seeing a prostitute is that it's just transactional. These men need much more than sexual contact, they need to feel desired by a woman. They need to feel attractive. They need to feel that they are worthy. That's where you come in."
"Wait!" Said Michelle, forgetting her manners as the shock of the implication reached her. "You don't mean to imply that you are trying to hire a woman to sleep with virgins to fix their anxiety, do you?"
"No no no!" Shouted Dr. Fittings. "The sex itself is not the point. This is why a whore can't do it. It's about integrating the sex into a psychosocial intervention program. Only a woman highly educated in this field could accomplish what I'm asking!" He seemed insulted by the idea that he was just looking for a prostitute.
There was a long silence. "Ok," said Michelle after he had gathered her thoughts. "Well what is the program then?"
"I'm glad you asked. I've separated it into steps. Each may take up to four sessions depending on how the client responds. Step one is very similar to my original method. You discuss how their anxiety is a response to what the environment has made them expect over time. Step two is penis adoration..."
"Penis what!?" Interrupted Michelle.
"Penis adoration or visual acceptance. You see, it's absolutely essential that before anything physical happens, the client feels that you adore his penis. It's no easy task either, these men have never had a woman see their penis before in many cases. I think it requires someone who can genuinely adore any penis she sees."
Michelle blushed. Though she had only been with a few men, to say she adored their penises would be an understatement. She fucking loved them. Each was different and yet she remembered thinking they were perfect at the time.
"Is that something you can accomplish?" Dr. Fittings asked.
Michelle paused and considered. This was crazy. Even if he was right and these men would be helped by some kind of sexual therapy, doing so would make her essentially a whore. She felt a twinge between her legs at the thought. She had never allowed any of her exes to record her even though they wanted to so badly because she knew that getting the reputation of being a whore would ruin her career.
Seemingly sensing what she was thinking, Dr. Fittings suddenly said. "This position and your name in the book would be completely confidential of course."
She considered this. Working with Dr. Fittings would've been her Dr.eam.
"Listen. Why don't you take a couple days to think about it. If you are interested in another meeting, I'll go over the rest of the program and how it all works at that point."
"Ok." Michelle said.
The next few days were an emotional experience, as Michelle flipped back and forth between feeling disgusted and aroused by the idea of being a sexual therapist. She masturbated furiously and even found a stranger online to come fuck her, which was a generally disappointing experience as the guy came in about 30 seconds and she just ended up masturbating to orgasm after he was gone. Her thoughts kept going back to D. Fittings while she masturbated. His dark hair, his piercing eyes behind his glasses, his strong forearms. She imagine him holding her hips and fucking her as she came. Two days later, she was back in his office.
After he explained the rest of the program, which made her blush at multiple occasions and even included some things she had never done before, she began to reconsider coming back.
