Autumn is absolutely stunning to me, with all the colors changing. I love that the air is crisp, but it isn't heavy coat weather yet. I live in a larger city filled with theaters, restaurants, clubs, boutiques, and every specialty shop or new trend you can think up. Despite the fact that I have all this at my fingertips, I am ashamed to say that I don't take advantage of it. At 24 years old, a time of my life I should be out enjoying myself fully, I am painfully shy. I'm not one to venture out on my own and explore and since I have no boyfriend, friends, or family around I have no one to go out with. I moved here 4 months ago and have been too busy with finding a place to live and getting a job to really put much effort into friend making, let alone making a love connection. I had lived at home before this, staying there while taking some online college classes. It never really went anywhere, I couldn't figure out what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. I know at this age I should have it figured out at least to some degree, but I don't. I was sick of hearing my mom's nagging about goals and marriage and babies. So I went online and started looking up job openings anywhere I could think of and applying to any that I had at least most of the qualifications for. That's how I ended up getting a job at a department store halfway across the country.
I was pretty happy here so far, but I stuck to my routine. Exercise in the morning, then off to work, afterwards running any errands like shopping or paying bills, then home for a quiet evening in. The weekends I tried to make myself get out more, but usually I just made it to the mall or park near my house and wandered around. It was a few days before Halloween when another cashier asked if I was going to make it to the company party this year. From the blank expression on my face she figured out I was clueless to what she was talking about. Soon I was caught up on the details and every other little gossip around work, she was definitely a talker! The company held a costume party each year on Halloween night right in the store after closing time. It was adults only and they had an open bar all night. Honestly who needs candy when gin and rum were offered instead. There was one major rule though, you were required to dress up if you came, and your costume had to have some sort of mask. It was a masquerade party and as I was informed by Miss Chatty next to me, it was half the fun trying to figure out who was who. That is a lot harder than it sounds, this is a big two story department store and employed a large amount of people. I smiled at her and nodded, when I had the chance I slipped away. I've never been one for a lot of talk and can't understand why some people share every detail of their lives. I pushed the idea of the party aside, deciding I'd be more comfortable at home watching scary movies and passing out candy.
In no time it was closing time on the 31st. I headed home enjoying all the decorations put up in the area I lived. Some people had really gone all out. Soon I was home, in my comfiest pajamas and deciding what I wanted to pop into the microwave for dinner. For some reason though I started to feel a bit depressed. It was my first holiday by myself and the apartment seemed extra quiet this evening. I started to eat but just picked at my food. I figured maybe the trick or treaters coming for candy would perk me up. I love kids and enjoy seeing all the imaginative costumes each year. After more than an hour and only two kids coming by, I figured out I wasn't in the main trick or treating route for most families. This didn't help my spirits in the least. I sat on the couch and made a deal with myself. I'd wait fifteen more minutes, if no one came in that time for some of my full sized Snickers and Milky Way bars, then I would make myself go to this work party.
Fifteen minutes later, I was looking through my closet for something that would work as a costume. The best I could come up with was a make shift genie costume. I had a gauzy skirt and a tank top that showed off a good amount of my belly, I added some jewelry and sandals and threw my hair up in a pony tail. It wasn't the best looking costume, but I decided it wasn't too bad. It was definitely the best I could do last minute. To fill the criteria of some sort of mask, I wrapped a silk scarf around my face so only my eyes were really visible. One last look in the mirror and I deemed myself sufficiently dressed as a genie. It was a little more revealing than I normally wear, not because I'm in any way ugly or overweight, but because I feel self conscious showing so much skin. Ten minutes later I was walking into the dimly lit store.
The low lights set an eerie mood combined with the decor placed about. In contrast to this ambiance, the place was scattered with people dressed from Zorro to hockey players. The noise level was the thing most out of place, it was way too loud for the graveyard setting they were trying for. I thought about turning right back around and going home. Instead I gathered my resolve and marched directly into the throng of party goers. I slowly made a loop about. A few people tried to get me to dance, but I'm not very coordinated and declined. Just when I thought I had made the biggest mistake coming, I saw my saving grace. Free alcohol to the rescue. I stood by the make shift bar sipping my third cocktail and scanning the room for anyone I might know, problem was the masks. Sure they might be a fun idea, but since I couldn't tell who I knew and didn't, I just stood there slightly awkwardly. I drank more, just for something to do at this point. Before I knew it, I had finished yet another glass. I set it down and noticed a small collection of cups by me. Had I really drank all that? I really couldn't remember how much I'd consumed. I'm not normally a heavy drinker, so my body was not used to the amount of alcohol I had apparently downed.