[This story is all about loneliness and finding a cure. This is not a stroke story. There is no explicit sexual content. If you've never been alone long enough for being alone to hurt all the way to your soul, don't read this story. It won't resonate. I know Alan and Sue (names changed to protect them from having fans) and they have been back from the cruise for five years. They are still together and so are Brian and Carol, Frank and Sally.]
A guest speaker came to a Single's Group meeting at a church. He spoke about his life. It sounded a lot like Alan's life. This happened, that happened. It was a sad life the man spoke of. The energy in the room that began as hopeful and happy was headed into a cesspool. Then he spoke of making a decision about pain.
He asked how many people in the room liked pain. No hands went up. He said he didn't believe them. He asked, if they didn't like pain, why weren't they doing something about it?
Alan didn't hear anything else the man said. For the rest of his time at church that week he was deep in his own head. All week long he did his life as he did his life every week. It was routine and boring. However, this week he kept thinking about what the speaker had said. "If you don't like pain, why aren't you doing something, anything, to get rid of the pain?"
The cure was easy to identify, in his mind. Have a relationship with someone. Be in a relationship. Knowing that, didn't help. How to get from where he was to where he wanted to be was the tough, unknown road.
Sunday morning came and Alan got up, did his routine and was in a seat at church ten minutes before it began. He let the service hit him and bounce off. He stood when everyone else stood. He sang when everyone sang. But, he didn't listen, he wasn't there. He was in his head looking for the answer to how to get from lonely to in relationship.
When the service was over he didn't do what he normally did. Jack in the Box would probably survive without his Sunday business for that Sunday. He stayed in his seat and waited for the singles meeting to start.
It started and the man leading that day said that the Rev had asked him to spend some time with the group talking about the speaker they had heard the week before. Alan came alive. He sat up straighter. His eyes saw and his blood pressure went up a little. He stood up.
"Yes, sir. Do you have a comment about the speaker from last week?" The man up front asked Alan.
"I do. I have been thinking about it all week. I don't know why I'm on my feet. It's the first time I've spoken in eight years of coming here. I'm lonely. I wake up alone. I work alone. I eat my meals alone. I haven't taken a vacation in eight years because I don't want to go alone. Last night I had a dream and in my dream I was alone. I have asked myself all week what I need to do to stop being alone. I'm making the answer up, right now. There are at least a hundred women in this room who are in the right age range for us to be compatible. I am forty-one. If being in relationship with a forty-one year old man could work for you, then I'm talking to you. I want to be in relationship, and soon. I'm going to make reservations for a three-day cruise to Mexico for the first weekend of next month. Reservations for a cabin for two. Here's what I promise: The purpose of the cruise is to spend three intense days finding out if you and I can be a couple. I will not exert any sexual pressure on you unless you invite it. Those cabins come with twin beds and I'm fine with staying on my bed for the cruise. If you're interested in not being lonely anymore, and interested in seeing if we could be the cure for each other, then when this meeting is over meet me over in that corner (he pointed) and we'll talk."
He sat down. The room sat quietly for twenty seconds. The man up front didn't say anything. When he was about to say something a woman three rows away from Alan stood up. She didn't look at the man up front, she just spoke, looking at Alan.
"I didn't catch your name when you spoke. I'm Sue. I did hear your heart. I'm not going to wait until the meeting ends. I want to stop being lonely, too. I've been hiding in fear for years. For a week I've been asking myself what I was afraid of. I was afraid of the pain of being rejected. As you spoke I realized I have been living in pain all this time, afraid of possible pain and afraid of ending the pain! That's insanity! I'm hungry! I'm starving! I invite you to leave with me right now and let's go somewhere and become an US."
She started working her way out of the row she was in. Alan stood and headed out of his row. Before they met in the center aisle another man stood up.
"My name is Brian. I don't know those two and I am family. I write my mom in Nebraska and tell her I am the only hermit in a city of eight million people. I'm willing to book a different cabin on the same cruise, under the same conditions. I'm willing to leave the meeting now and go create an US from two lonely people. If you're interested, I'll be in the back of the room."
Alan didn't see who Brian linked up with. He didn't see the twenty other lonely people who gave up lonely from him being brave. He met most of them on the cruise. Sue was with him on the cruise. When they walked into their cabin Sue pushed the twin beds together. Alan helped.
Last year Alan was the man in front of the room in a different Singles meeting. He had this conversation with a woman who had just shared that she wanted a relationship, a loving relationship.
"How many people are on planet Earth?"
"Six billion, or close to it." She said.
"For this discussion, how many of the six billion are men?"
"Half?"
"Ok, that's close. So, three billion men. Now if we divide them by age and we figure they range from birth to eighty, and we figure there about the same number of men in each age that would be 37,500,000 of any one age. How old a man do you want?"
"Somewhere between twenty-eight and forty."
"So, if we do the math you want a man between twenty-eight and forty. That's a twelve year range. Twelve years times 37,500,000 is 450,000,000."
"But, most of them are married!" She protested.
"Right! Lets say 75% are married and 8% are gay, in prison, mentally unfit, or terminally ugly. That's 88% of the 450 million men are disqualified. That still leaves 54 million men available for you to have a relationship with. So, let me understand this, there are 54 million men available for you to be in relationship with and you stand up in a room with four hundred people in it and tell me you cannot find anyone?"
"No. I've been single forever and I haven't found him."
"Ok. Obviously the big math isn't working for you. Lets do this: If you are a man between twenty-eight and forty stand up." Over a hundred men stood up.
"If you are in a relationship that you believe will soon lead to being married, sit down. If you are married, sit down." Very few men sat down.
"So, do you have something in you that says, he has to be three inches or more taller than me?"
