Alice And The Looking Glass Ch 17

"You know Alice I swear that hole gets tighter and tighter."

Alice pondered momentarily then realizing His meaning giggled loud and long.

"The thing is Hatter my boy decided to sleeve the thing in concrete. Thought a little sand and chalk would stop the rabbit's magic."

"Why on earth did you ever decide to call him Jack? He doesn't bear any resemblance to a real card at all. Doesn't even stack up to a cad!"

Alice giggled again. Somehow the stupidity of Hatters pun was so magnificent it became uproariously amusing. Stretching a bit she pushed Celia's face away from her vulva and resultantly poor Doreen completely lost all contact with the curved toadstool cap and landed with a thud on the grass several feet below.

"Whatever happened to the caterpillar Hatter?"

"Took up and wrapped himself in a cocoon one day and never came out. I figure all the opium he smoked stunted his growth. Eventually we rolled him across the meadow and into the boating lake. Caused quite a stir in the regatta that year. Sunk three punts like a torpedo."

Alice sighed. Somehow this nonsensical chatter meant more than any conversation that had happened in the previous forty years. Strange to imagine she had married, raised a son and a granddaughter and nothing in Wonderland seemed a day older or more importantly any wiser or more sensible.

"Why didn't you come for me before Hatter? You must have known I was waiting for you."

"Been so busy don't you know? What with the Queen being put in the madhouse and the damned politicians changing the laws daily its been hard enough to make fashionable millinery let alone plan a reunion. Everything got very ugly when Father Peirce left the carnival and managed to escape to your end of the rabbit hole. I mean we had all the lunatics running the asylum already certainly didn't need a lot of mindless freaks joining in. That Peirce was a strange cove all together. How on earth did he ever get to run your old school anyways? He was a sandwich short of a picnic at the best of times."

Celia had started laughing. Alice remembered the laugh too well and immediately took exception to the tone.

"And what's your problem bitch? Either shut the fuck up laughing or at least stick your tongue back in my cunt where it belongs!"

"Oh so fucking special are we Miss Alice? Why would Hatter think to travel and find you when He can have any pussy or ass He wants? Sure you have a nice body now you are back to how you used to be instead of that ugly old stuck up hag you became in the real world, but do you really think your carnal acrobatics are that special? Only reason we are here now is cos we need your slutty ass!"

"What do you mean? What's she mean Hatter need my slutty ass?"

Hatter didn't answer immediately as He was indeed busy trying to slide His cock back into Alice's gaping anus. Alice reached down and taking Hatters scrotum tight in her right hand squeezed just enough.

"Fuck, fuck that hurts."

"Answer me then you perverted shit! You have been in that particular tight hole quite enough for the moment!"

Just to underline the point Alice squeezed a little harder.

"FUCK! Alright let go. My balls are already black and blue from bouncing off your pubic bone thank you very much."

Alice released the twin orbs of delight but remembered to turn just long enough to slap Celia hard across the face.

"That's for calling me a hag! Now shut up and eat."

Alice grabbed a handful of Celia's mane and viciously pulled her face back down to her still flared labia.

"So come on Hatter spill the beans. If you didn't come back because you couldn't live without me what is the reason?"

"It's the Jack of Hearts. Hes going to be crowned King."

"Well you said his mother was in an asylum so that makes sense."

"Well yes but its more complicated than that, he wants to marry Willow and make her queen. You remember Willow Paliqueen? You should you helped create her!"

"But I left her with Imogen at the carnival. They were, well inseparable!"

"My dear Alice, Father Bill undid the stitching holding them together shortly after you left. That's when they went mental and drove him to plot an escape. The two girls went pegging mad!"

"Surely you mean barking mad."

"Oh no it was definitely pegging mad. Many an asshole in Wonderland bears witness to that fact, especially the Jack of Hearts. Hes a fanatic and couldn't get enough of Willows introductory penetrations. Hence the marriage of the decade in the offing."

"And its all your fault you stuck up slag!"

Celia just managed to finish the sentence between gulps of air as she labored to reach Alice's uterus with her almost prehensile tongue.

"How in hells name is it my fault? Everything was fine when I left. Jack was a decidedly cemented transsexual, the Queen was happily chopping of heads and Willow couldn't move a muscle without someone pulling a wire."

"Nobody is blaming you really Alice. Don't listen to Celia her mouth just runs away with her when shes not eating cunt."

Hatter was still manfully trying to position the head of His enormous member in line with Alice's pulsing sphincter.

"Damn it Hatter will you stop ass fucking me for two minutes. I feel like chopped liver inside. You really do need to cut down on the penile piercings. How many do you have now for god's sake? Feels like I am being buggered with a very well quilled cactus plant."

Hatter sighed deeply and rolled over fastening His pants flap as He did.

"Got a bit carried away last year don't you know. The Albert's just look so pretty and I swear the extra weight on the tip is stretching him another inch or two."

"For Fucks sake Hatter your hung like a horse now. Hasn't anybody ever told you that there can be too much of a good thing?"

Hatter thought momentarily before answering.

"Well actually no My dear, I cant remember anybody ever saying that."

Pushing Celia away Alice stood upright on the very unstable toadstool cap and putting her right ankle back into her torn and tattered panties pulled them up meaningfully.

"Well I suppose that means we have to go now then dammit, you might have let me ejaculate first! Got way to much semen swimming around down there. Feels like a tsunami in the making."

"Want a quick wank Hatter?"

Doreen had finally made it back up from the grass.

"No its fine, really, honestly, I will be quite alright, probably, hopefully, maybe, given a fair wind and a strong current."

"For pity's sake Hatter stop whining like a schoolgirl, you know that's Alice's job."

Celia just finished the b at the end of job as Alice's fist picked her up and propelled her a good twenty feet from her perch to land in a large mound of freshly laid cow dung.

"So what is the plan Hatter?"

Alice did her best to ignore the string of obscenities unraveling from Celia as she tried her hardest to disengage from the bovine fecal matter.

"First things first, the only way we are ever going to entice J.H. away from Willows poundings is to supply something bigger and better. Rumor has it that the legendary Jabberwocky Dildo of Destruction has surfaced in a curio store just outside Heartingdon."

"Fucking things a myth, no one has ever seen a Jabberwocky cock since 1492 let alone a strap on version."

"Hang on a minute, 1492? This sounds awfully fishy."

"Don't get caught up in the minutiae Alice we are dealing with matters that are far too important. We need the Dildo of Destruction and we need you to wield it!"

"1492 across the ocean blue?"

"Forget the date Alice, really doesn't matter a jot."

"Matters if you are the last Jabberwocky and Columbus cut off your tally wacker?"

Celia dove head first into the cow manure again this time under the Hatters propulsion.

"I only was saying!"

"Celia you really look like shit! Come on everyone it's a good half night's walk to Heartsville."

"Hang on Hatter you said Heartingdon before."

"Yes it's a good walk."

Hatter strode off into the Wobbly Wood with the three girls trailing some distance behind. Celia tried as best she could to wipe the residue from her hands and face using Doreen's skirt and petticoat which simply meant they both ended up stinking equally badly.

"What the fucks that smell?"

"Who said that?"

Alice stared into the undergrowth but saw nothing.

"Smells like the cow sheds on a bad day."

"Stop hiding and show yourselves."

"Bossy little slag arnt we?"

"Hatter!"

Alice yelled out at the top of her voice but Hatter was nowhere to be seen.

"You look like someone we knew you do."

The voices started to sound awfully familiar.

"Show us those udders darling."

"What? Udders? Who are you?"

The two shadows pounced like the experienced cow wranglers they were and in a second Alice's breasts were out for inspection.

"Oh yes nice and firm and milky. Nipples long and well formed, just right for the milking."

Alice couldn't move, she was pinned from behind by one shadow whilst the other rolled her nipples firmly between thumb and forefinger.

"Try pumping them a bit."

Sure enough the hands starting pulling at Alice's now distended teats with a vigorous motion.

"Lets see if I can help the flow from behind."

"Oh my!"

Alice felt her vulva open wide as the rear shadow thrust his penis into her vagina deep and hard.

"Oh fuck, FUCK."

The combination of nipple pulls and vaginal friction was just too much and Alice let go a full on squirt of joy.

"OHHHHH YESSSSSSSSS."

"Shut her mouth up please its disturbing me concentrating on the rhythms."

A large crusty and gnarled cock head bored between Alice's chapped lips and snaked into her throat.

"Gan, gis gat goo Gan?"

The taste of the helmet pistoning in her throat was decidedly familiar.

"This cow knows your flavor Dan!"

"Gete. Gou girty gucking gunt!"

"Got us both pegged now Pete, so much for the ninja disguises."

"'Ello. 'ello , 'ello, what's going on 'ere then."

Hatter had always wanted to say that and at last the perfect opportunity.

"Got us fair to rights guvn'r."

Hatter, Dan and Pete dissolved in fits of laughter just long enough for Alice to squirt another two times and gag thrice.

"I seem to remember you stealing this cow from us before Hatter, good times eh?"

Damned right good times Dan. Men were men and cows were for breeding!"

"You know the Royal Council closed our dairy."

"Heard there was a problem, something to do with not needing the milk anymore?"

"Well yes as soon as the Queen got carted off to the funny farm no one wants to bath in human milk anymore. Sad really some of those cows had been milked for years and years. Poor things look like twin zeppelins walking around now. Sure the milk bars took some of the surplus but never was the same. Special cows like this one here I am stirring have totally lost their purpose."

"So what you guys doing now?

"Poaching for our own pleasure of course. Grab a likely little muffin and milk her for our own amusement. Hang on Hatter need to concentrate a moment. Onto the short strokes."

Pete's thighs slapped against Alice's ass hard and loud in a crescendo of rapid beats until with a large wahoo he gave her a good infusion of genuine Wonderland Dairy protein. Dan never to be outdone pumped a full portion of cream directly down Alice's nicely lubed and stretched windpipe. For her part the poor cow of the hour managed to squirt hard enough to dampen Hatters boots even though He was a good four foot away. Never one for ceremony Pete ripped what was left of Alice's skimpy panties from her cheeks and wiping the goo from His gnarled mushroom head passed the soaked garment to Dan with a devilish grin.

"New kind of sloppy seconds for you Dan."

Alice had never understood why a good rogering always resulted in her needing to urinate quite so badly. Common sense would seem to suggest that the amount of liquid discharged through her orifices at virtually any sexual contact should cause a definite depletion to her fluid level. However as always she found her bladder full to overflowing and was obliged to look for a suitable place to piss like a racehorse. The obvious spot was a nice wide ditch just to the side of the patch of weeds that had been her stomping ground during the milking session.

"Don't fucking piss on me you whore."

Alice hadn't noticed Celia and Doreen in the gloom and unfortunately had already let go of an arcing stream before the warning caught her ear.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm."

Doreen far from being upset at the fountain of urine now falling like rain directly onto her face was busily quaffing her thirst like an alcoholic in a beer factory.

"What are you two doing down there anyway?"

Alice focused through the darkness and realized that the ditch far from being empty was half filled with what looked like partially husked ears of corn. Alarmingly she also noticed that both Doreen's gaped ass and vagina had cobs inserted frighteningly deeply. Before Alice was able to make any further inquiries Hatter interceded.

"Friday today don't you know. Doreen being Roman Catholic isn't allowed any meat, so its either fish or in this case vegetables. You can't beat a bit of corn in the can after all."

"You do appreciate that that statement is as surreal as anything I have ever heard Hatter?"

Hatter smiled contentedly His duty done again!

"So you boys got anything else planned for tonight or is it just cocoa then bed?"

Alice rolled her eyes incredulously and shook the last droplets of urine from her swollen labia by heartily stamping her feet. Doreen kindly removed any remaining vestiges of moisture with a swift deep pass of her tongue.

"No particular plans Hatter unless you have any other interesting companions we haven't seen yet."

"Nope just Alice, Doreen and Celia. However I might have a little job for you if you are willing to chance your luck."

"Would this chancing result in some possible homogenization?"

"Most decidedly, yes."

"Then counts us in, Pete and I never refuse a pasteurized probability."