I liked Kelly from the day she first started working at the next desk over from mine. She was funny and smart and nice. It certainly didn't hurt that she was super cute, with strawberry blonde hair framing her beaming, contagious smile. She was built thick, with extra padding in her chest, her hips, and her thighs. But most importantly, we got on well, which was a good thing, because we ended up working closely together, sharing a lot of the same accounts.
In my younger years, I might have made a move right away. But I had been down that road before. I knew office romance could be risky and complicated. Fourteen years ago, I got drunk at an office party and went home with a coworker. She was drunk too. It was a bad idea all around, exactly the kind of bad idea that alcohol is great at uninhibiting. I woke up with only a vague sense of what must have happened, but no actual memory of it. She got pregnant that night. I didn't want her to keep it. She didn't want me involved. In the end, I wound up paying child support, and moving to another city to get my career back on track.
If my younger self sounds like a jerk, I wouldn't blame you for thinking so. I like to think I've learned from the experience. It certainly has made me more cautious about who I get involved with, and how involved I'm willing to get. Maybe my dating life has suffered from over-caution since then, but better that than the alternative.
Anyway, a month after she started at the company, Kelly came out as asexual. I didn't really understand at first. A lot of people didn't. It ended up involving a lot more explanation than Kelly was probably anticipating, but after that, people in the office were very accepting.
It cleared things up for me, at least. As much as I was drawn to her, now I understood that I had no chance-no more than I would if she were a lesbian. As I understood it, she just wasn't attracted to any gender. No reason to think I'd ever be an exception.
Working closely with her over the years, we ended up becoming friends. We would duck out to lunch together often, so we could gossip about others in the office. Sometimes I took care of her cat when she was away. Sometimes she came over for cookouts at my place. Even amongst a group of mostly married couples, her humor and kindness always fit in. The first time she showed up, there might have been some suspicions about the two of us, but that didn't last.
Early on, I wondered why she had even bothered coming out. Her sexual orientation seemed like such a non-issue. If she wasn't with anyone, it wasn't like bigots could fault her for being with the wrong person. But over time, I started to see the point of it. Nobody pitied her on Valentine's Day. Nobody tried to set her up with their friends. Nobody assumed she was on a track to get married and settle down and have children. She had opted out of a lot of unhelpful social noise that I hadn't realized was there, and hadn't realized was optional. As someone unpartnered and not putting much effort into dating, I almost envied her for it.
One morning, she came in looking flustered. She sat down at her computer and started typing loudly.
"Kelly, is everything okay?" I asked. I was concerned she might be typing up her resignation, not that I knew of any reason why she would. There had to be something I was missing.
"Hang on, just let me finish this email, and then you'll see," she said.
I waited impatiently. As soon as she stopped typing, a message showed up in my inbox from her.
"Hey, want to come over for dinner tonight? I have something to talk to you about. -Kelly"
At least it wasn't something bad, but I was still confused. "What's this about?"
She looked around. "Not here, okay? Can you?"
I shrugged. It wasn't like I had any other plans. "Sure. Of course."
That seemed like a weight off of her. Now I was caught up wondering what this could be about, that she didn't want to talk about in the office. Did she need to borrow money? Was she in legal trouble?
When I arrived at her house, she was in better spirits, though there was still something tense about her. Her house was cozy and compact. It was a home for one, and that was all it ever could be.
We sat down to eat dinner, and I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer. "So...what's all this about?"
She took a big breath. "I'm ready to have a baby."
All I could do was mull it over, and remember to chew my mouthful of pasta.
"Um...pardon me if this is ignorant, but how's that going to work, in your case?" I asked.
"Sperm and egg would be the traditional recipe," she joked. "I know in-vitro is an option, but I'm hoping to skip it if I can. It just seems too clinical, too expensive, too many questions asked. After all, it's only a two ingredient recipe, and I'm really only short on one of them. I was hoping I could borrow some...ingredients...from you."
I laughed for a second. She was still smiling, but she wasn't laughing. "Oh. Oh my gosh. Me? Why me?"
"Plenty of reasons, actually. I trust you. I'm pretty sure you're in good health. You have a track record of getting women pregnant easily. You have no interest in custody. And I know you're not in a relationship at the moment."
"Okay, guilty on all counts, I guess. You know I'm already paying child support for one kid, though," I said.
She picked up a piece of paper and slid it over to me. It had her signature at the bottom already. "Here. This all says you'll have no legal rights or responsibilities. Though if all goes according to plan, no one will even know you were involved."
"Wow," I said, trying to wrap my head around it. "I guess I'm supposed to think about this for more than two seconds, but whatever you have in mind, you can count me in."
"Okay. Should we begin tonight?" she asked.
She got up and went to her bedroom, just around the corner from the kitchen and dining area. She began quickly, unceremonially stripping out of her clothes.
After a moment of hesitation and disbelief, I followed suit. With anyone else, I might have felt self-conscious about my paunch, my body hair, my pasty skin. But I knew she probably couldn't care less.
Soon we were both naked, and I was seeing her that way for the first time. I knew it wasn't a display for me, but I couldn't take my eyes off her naked form. Part of me was already standing ready in anticipation of whatever was about to happen. But I didn't dare approach her at first.
I thought she might lie down on the bed, but off to one side, she had two chairs set up facing each other. She sat in one of them, motioning me to the other. I guess we were just in the bedroom for privacy.
"Here's what I'm thinking. You jack yourself off, and when you ejaculate, I'll catch it, and put it to use," she said.
My head was reeling. This was all moving really fast, and I could hardly believe it was real. Yet this also definitely wasn't how my fantasies about Kelly would have played out.
She slipped a hand down between her legs, and I could see her clit shining with moisture and expectation as she started to rub it with her finger. Her other hand was pressing on her breasts, caressing her neck, running fingers through her hair. Soon her gaze was glazed over, off in her own world.