I had been single for two years by the time of this story. Aside from the occasional encounter, I had spent that two years fucking as many cute Asian hookers as I had time for. I lost count after about 120. A couple became close. One moved in for a while and carried out her business activities in the spare room - no problem for me; I love a warmed up pussy!
Anyway, I joined an internet dating site and enjoyed about a year of cheeky, provocative profiles that, while arousing not a little hostility from some redneck ladies and men, nevertheless occasionally delivered some success.
But one day I changed it to a relatively straight-forward, factual and frank explanation of the circumstances surrounding my marriage break-up, nearly two years past, by then, including 8 years looking after a seriously ill wife.
Yes, I was figuring I would score a sympathy fuck or two...why not? Anyway, sure enough, an email arrived:
Subject: Welcome to the tortured souls club
Message: Good grief! Personally, I'm looking to leave my torturous past well behind! And what is truth, anyway? A wild fantasy life? Hmmm. From one who gets out there on occasion too. Belle.
So, Perhaps readers can detect that I still had a bit of cheek in my profile...and in that vein, I replied:
OK. I'm obviously going to have to rewrite my profile. Tortured soul? Maybe we could cuddle in a bed made warm by our lovemaking and concoct a new one, two wannabe writers together. How's that for an "out there" line? Mind you, after reading your list of requirements, the best I can say is that I meet some of all your criteria, but, I'm afraid to say, all of none. But that's not to say we can't have fun, eh? As for truth or fantasy, let me just say that rather than a wild fantasy, I'm enjoying the fantastically wild. I'm sure you can spot the difference. Thanks for the feedback. And for making me think. Luke.
And that, I thought, would be that.