I got the phone call I had been dreading for days on a Wednesday night. I had just come home from church, and was getting ready to make a quick run to the grocery store. Even though I knew he was going to call me sometime, I was still shocked to hear James on the other end of the line. I was still too filled with hatred for him to worry about anything but trying to be at least cordial. I talked with him for a little while, and he asked me to let him take me out to dinner sometime. I told him I’d meet him in 30 minutes.
I drove to the store not worried at all about seeing the boy who broke my heart five years earlier. He was my first lover, my first love, and my first shattering heartbreak.
When I saw him walk towards me I felt my heart drop to the sidewalk. He was so different from when I last saw him. He was clean cut and had filled out in all the right places. I tried to hide my emotional upheaval and keep up my aloof façade. I dragged him through the store with me for a little bit, then we went to a nearby burger joint to sit and talk.
We talked about everything sitting there from our previous loves to what we listened to in our spare time on the radio. We just kind of clicked and fell into a groove of understanding. The old flame started to be rekindled and I was not doing anything to fight it.
That night as I lay in bed I thought about my meeting with James. I had the school-girl excitement, but I still harbored in the back of mine a sort of fear of becoming too deeply involved and allowing heartbreak back in. I had been hurt to a point I thought was beyond repair just months earlier, and did not think I could handle such pain again. I pushed these fears out of my mind and just went to sleep.
The next day we met again, but this time we went to his house. He was living with his parents again after a rental nightmare and had just his bedroom that was safe for us to hang out in. We sat on his bed and talked about anything we didn’t cover the previous, including what we thought of each other after being apart for so long. Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine. He seemed kind of unsure, but his kisses were soft and sweet and I felt myself melt into him as though we were really one substance.