Here I was again. Sitting alone in my living room with only the TV for company. I start to mull over how nice it would be to have someone here. A man. To feel his touch. God it had been so long since I'd been touched by a man. Had been touched like I'd been wanted! I pour myself another large glass of red and settle back on my sofa, accepting that this would be another lonely Saturday night.
That was until there was a thundering knock at the door, something else that hadn't happened in a while. It made me jolt in my seat causing me to spill my generous helping of red down the front of my white blouse.
"For fuck sake" I cursed to myself, feverishly mopping at the stain whilst making my way to the door. I peer through the spy hole to check who it is. "Why is he back so soon?" I think as I open the door for my visitor.
"Sorry to disturb you again so soon, but I think I left my phone here" he explains whilst eyeing my newly stained blouse with confusion.
"Oh, OK, you better come in and look for it, but I haven't seen it."
"Thanks" he replies as he busies himself with looking through cushions and under furniture while I close the door behind him. "It's like it's disappeared into thin air!" he exclaims in frustration from underneath the kitchen table.
"Shall I ring it on the house phone and we'll see if we can find it?"
"Yes that would be great. What happened to your blouse by the way?" he enquires as I make my way across the living room to the phone.
"Oh you did that, startled me with your caveman βstyle knocking." I chuckle to show there are no hard feelings as the last thing I wanted was to drive human company away so quickly. Number dialled, the sound of an old school monophonic ringtone fills the room. I pause trying to work out its origin when I find myself staring at this man. It's coming from his pocket.
"It's in your pocket you idiot" I chuckle pointing a finger at his crotch when he starts to take long meaningful steps towards me. Walking like a man with a purpose. Unbuttoning and removing his shirt as he did. Letting it drop to the floor.