An Unsatisfactory First Time Leaves

Midway through my second term I ended up in a shared house which was owned by the university as I had to leave my previous lodgings in a bit of a hurry.

I had no idea who my new housemates were as I was shown round the house when they were all out, but judging by some of the clothes that were left hanging about I assumed that some, if not all, were girls. I decided to take the room and a few days later I got a "man and a van" deliver my stuff over. I thought it prudent to knock rather than just enter the house.

I was greeted by an absolute stunner who introduced herself as Libby. The other girl, Maxine I took an instant dislike to, I don't know why, there was just something about her.

The third person in the house, "George" was at a hockey tournament and would be away for a few days.

I asked girls what happened to the other person and was told only that she was a girl and something inappropriate had happened.

I pressed a bit further and Maxine said, 'you'd better ask George.' And assumed there had been some falling out.

A couple of days later I was up in my room attempting to write an extended essay when the front door opened. Libby and Maxine had gone out somewhere so it could only be George. I waited for a while and as I was feeling a bit hungry ventured downstairs to sort out some dinner and introduce myself.

Inside the kitchen stood my final housemate. He had his back to me and was wearing a tracksuit, quite short at about 5'6" and had black hair almost down to the nape in his neck.

Alright mate, 'I'm Steve.'

"He," turned around and I got the shock of my life when he had turned out to be a she.

'Georgina,' she replied avoiding eye contact and scuttling back to her bedroom.

Over the next few days I discovered that Georgina rarely left her bedroom, always wore tracksuits, avoided eye contact, never spoke and had some rather butch looking female friends. Theses friends and constant comments from Libby and especially Maxine led me to believe Georgina was a lesbian.

It didn't really bother me, Brighton has always had a large lesbian and gay community so it was no great surprise. Plus I felt a bit sorry for her, nothing to do with her sexuality, just that the two other girls, especially Maxine were so bitchy about her.

Libby was okay, but whilst she was a stunner that's about all she had going for her, she was hardly the sharpest tool in the box and didn't really have an opinion about anything. She was also a bit of a diva expecting people to drop what they were doing and jump to her attention. Maxine didn't have the looks, from a distance she looked okay but close up she had really bad skin plus she was very sly and manipulative.

After I'd been in the house for a couple weeks, on the train back from university I ended up sitting opposite Georgina. I hadn't intended to it just happened to be one of the few remaining spare seats. I said "hello," and she said the same but then looked down at the floor. I got the impression she felt a bit uncomfortable with me so nothing further was exchanged during the short journey.

I was in a bit of a dilemma, as to whether to walk back with her or walk separately. Just as the train arrived at the station, I had an idea. The only other thing about Georgina was she liked her music, again her taste in music was very male with bands such as Dépêche Mode and The Cure. I'd heard her play the new Depeche Mode album, Violator, a few times, so as not to have an embarrassing scenario I asked, 'what's the new Depeche Mode album like?'

She looked up and replied, 'it's alright.'

As we left the train and walked back to the house we had a strained conversation about music, I said I enjoyed going to gigs quite a bit. Georgina said she did too.

I was hoping, because she did have something about her, that she might have indicated we could go to one together. But there was no indication that she would like to go with me to a gig or anything. Then when that conversation petered out I asked about the previous housemate.

Georgina became a bit defensive, 'what have those other two been saying?'

'Nothing, they said speak to you.'

'Oh, she just had to leave.'

By the tone of her voice she didn't want to continue and we walked the rest of the way back in virtual silence.

A couple of weeks later both girls went away on the Thursday for Libby's birthday celebrations and would not return until Monday. Clearly we were not invited so this left us alone in the house. Without the other two girls Georgina spent far less time in her bedroom and on Friday she made me a cup of tea and offered to lend me a couple of her CD's. She seemed more relaxed and less on edge leading to a conversation about music.

I said something which made her laugh and her whole face lit up and for the first time I realised she was actually quite pretty and not as butch as I first believed. However that was tempered by my belief she would not be interested in me or any other man.

Saturday morning I heard her climb the stairs and enter the bathroom, next I heard the shower whirring away. With my earlier thoughts in mind, I know I shouldn't have, but I wondered what she might look like naked. Did she, under her baggy tracksuit have a nice body which was ripe and willing to be explored by yours truly? My cock then began to get hard at the thought of joining her in the shower.

Later on in the day I was thinking of seeing a band at a pub called the Richmond which, at the time, was one of the best places in Brighton to see up and coming acts. In the afternoon the phone rang, which I answered. It was one of Georgina's friends a girl called Michaela but who everyone knew as Mick and for very good reason. I might not have been absolutely convinced Georgina was a lesbian but Mick definitely was one. From her deep voice, butch manner, five o'clock shadow and outrageous stories she was 100% lesbian. She was round the house quite a bit to see Georgina but I got the impression Georgina found her a bit tiring.

I gave Georgina a shout and remained in the front room as I handed over the phone.

'So we still on for tonight? I've heard a bit of their stuff on the radio and the support band is supposed to be quite good too... No they're away for the weekend... No just me and Steve... What! You are joking... No ... I can't go on my own.'

With that she slammed down the phone, shook her head and muttered something under her breath before making her way back to her bedroom.

A couple of minutes later I knocked on her door. After she opened it I said, 'I wasn't ear wigging or anything, but I was going to the Richmond tonight and you're welcome to join me if you don't want to go on your own.'

She appeared really taken aback before replying, 'I don't know, it's...'

'Go on, you sounded really pissed off with Mick.'

'I was.'

'Well?'

She paused for a few moments before replying, 'okay then.'

'Leave about eight-ish?'

She nodded.

I did wonder what Georgina would wear to the gig, surely not a tracksuit. It was almost as bad being a thick zip up cardigan, jeans, trainers and a black duffel coat.

We began walking to the pub in silence, like with the train I got the impression she'd rather be on her own. Eventually I ventured, 'do you know what the other bands are like?'

'One's local, don't know about the other one.'

This seemed to break the ice and we chatted a bit more until we reached the pub and walked upstairs to where the gig was.

Even after a couple of bars of the first song I reached the conclusion the first band was crap. Any further musical analysis was ceased as I felt a tug on my arm.

'This lot are crap.'

'Yeah, I thought it was just me. Do you want a drink?'

'Yeah but downstairs in the bar, I can't listen to any more of this.'

The bar was fairly crowded, I guess everyone else shared our opinions, I got the drinks in whilst Georgina found a couple of spare stools which were round a large table.

I had expected long awkward silences as I struggled to think of something to say to her, but I was pleasantly surprised that we spent the next thirty or so minutes in conversation. Talking about Libby and Maxine. I learnt Georgina and Claire were friends and Libby and Maxine were also friends and how they sort of got thrown together. Georgina also confessed, with Clair gone, she felt isolated.

Away from the house Georgina seemed like a different person, there was none of the looking down at the floor which I usually associated with her. She also appeared more feminine, gigglier and far less surly.

I was a bit disappointed when Georgina said the second band were due on shortly which meant an end to our conversation. Fortunately the second band were a bit better after they had finished we went downstairs to the bar to have another drink.

Once sat down I asked, 'glad you came? Or would you rather have stayed in and watched Blind Date?'

'What do you think?'

'I'm hoping I'm better company than Cilla?'

She smiled, 'much better company.'

'Good.' In hindsight I should have moved in on her and touched or squeezed her arm or leg or perhaps given her a peck on the cheek. But instead I asked, 'why did Mick cancel?'

'I don't know.'

And the moment escaped.

Almost simultaneous to that everybody on the downstairs bar began to head upstairs for the final band. Once upstairs, the last band was really good and Georgina really seemed to be having a good time. The upstairs room was packed with people and it began to get really hot and clammy. Georgina took off her large cardigan, underneath she wore a white short sleeved t-shirt and I could not fail to notice how it clung to her torso exposing her bra underneath. It was the first time she had revealed any flesh and I was presently surprised, coupled with the fact her breasts appeared much larger as I could see their definite outline.

We were about half way from the stage and the people at the front were really getting into it dancing around and slamming into each other. Suddenly, Georgina, who was standing in front of me, was pushed backwards. Instinctively I raised my hands up and she fell against me. She was so much lighter and softer than I thought as I savoured the touch of her. Disappointed that she then lurched herself forward. It happened a few more times and each time I would catch her and stop her falling backwards.

But best of all was near the end when she bent down to retrieve her coat and cardigan from under a table, she had her back to me and I watched how her t-shirt rode up her back. Her skin was white and unblemished and I was treated to seeing the tops of her blue knickers. I felt a little tingle in my groin.

The band finished their set and the main lights came on. Georgina's face was flushed; her hair matted with sweat and her bra was even more visible. I was becoming increasingly drawn to her.

As we exited the pub and began the walk back, I commented, 'you seemed to be having a good time.'

She nodded.

'We'll have to do it again sometime.'

'Definitely.'

As we walked I asked, 'so why did Clare leave?'

She stopped, and seemed to weight up what to say, 'look don't say anything to the other two.'

'I promise,' ever more intrigued.

'Something happened ... between Clare and Libby.'

'What sort of something?'

She took in a deep breath, 'Clare, you know tried to get off with Libby.'

'And.'

'Libby wasn't interested; it was all a bit difficult.'

'Yeah,' I nodded, 'but Clare's your friend?'

'She was, but she wanted us to be more than just friends.'

'Oh,' I said, before I put my foot in it, 'I thought you were into all that.'

'Into all what exactly?'

'You know... other girls.'

She gave out a sigh and took her time to respond, 'boys never seem to like me.'

'I don't see why not,' as I recalled her bending down and being flung into me.

'How do you mean?'

'Well, you know, you're alright looking and that.'

She looked up at me with a resigned look, 'next thing you're going to say I'm the most beautiful girl in the world.'

'No, but you're far from ugly.'

'Boys just don't like me.'

I was going to say, "but this one does," but at the last minute bottled it replying, 'I'm sure that's not really true.'

'When I was at secondary school all the boys hated me.'

'That was years ago, and boys can be complete twats at that age,' but she cut in...

'I was really fat and ugly and nobody liked me, everybody was horrible to me. I got into sports as mean of escape and losing weight. But even then no boy ever looked at me...'

I could tell by the tone of her voice she was getting upset, but rather than stop she continued.

'Some of the other girls in the rugby team I played for paid me some attention, I kissed a couple of them and one of them felt my tits.' She paused.

I couldn't believe what she was telling me, whether it was the drink, the fact she wanted to get all this off her chest or was teasing me I don't know. But what I do know is hearing this had made me instantly hard.

She continued, 'there was a boy in my Sixth Form I really liked and I went with him at a party, but it was really horrible, he was rough, it was over really quickly. Then he boasted to all his friends about how he took my virginity. And I thought he really liked me.'

My erection began to subside; this was all getting a bit heavy.

Georgina continued, 'what chance do I have against someone like Libby, I'm nothing compared to her, no man would even give me a second glance. And because no bloke ever looks at me the way they are supposed to, what's the point in making an effort...'

'But you hardly...' I paused at the edge of the large hole I was digging for myself.

'I hardly?'

'Well...' I paused again, 'please don't take this the wrong way. Perhaps if you dressed a bit differently then men, um, might take a bit more interest in you.'

'So I'll just be something men can ogle?'

'I wouldn't go as far as that.'

'What about the person inside?'

'I agree, Libby's very pretty but she is very little else,' and hoping to get out of the hole I'd fallen into. 'I would rather have gone out with you than Libby tonight.'

'Of course you would.'

We were now approaching the house. 'I'm telling the truth, could you imagine it with Libby there, she be giving it, "why's everyone looking at the band they should be looking at me. Steve, Steve, get everyone to look at me now."'

She gave a little chuckle.

'So do you believe me?'

'I'm still not convinced.'

We were now in the hallway, 'I've got some vodka in my room, I'll bring the bottle down, and there's some orange juice in the fridge.'

'Okay but you're not going to get me drunk.'

'No of course not, you can do the pouring.'

I got the bottle and Georgina went to the kitchen to fetch the orange juice and two glasses.

We sat in the front room, Georgina had only taken her coat off I hoped she would have taken her cardigan off. I got the feeling something would happen as we were alone in the house. But how to engineer things, she obviously suffered from low self esteem and I thought of things I could say which might boost her confidence.

'You shouldn't try to compare yourself to Libby.'

'Sorry?'

'Libby, she's not all that.'

'But she's so pretty.'

I shook my head, 'she's a bit fake, without her make-up she nothing special.'

'But she's so slim.'

'No, read skinny.'

She shook her head, 'and I'm so fat.'

'No you're not, you look alright, most of us guys don't go for stick insects.'

She gave a disbelieving look.

'Plus she's high maintenance, I can't be doing with all that, I just want a girl who I can have a laugh with and...'

'And!' She fired back accusingly.

'Well you know.' I limply replied.

'You mean sex! So girls are just there for sex are they?'

'I didn't mean that.' I looked at her again her eyes were slightly bulging her face red, perhaps I was right all along she was a lesbian but also a man hater too.

We sat in silence for a few moments, God only knows what she was thinking, but once I knew nothing would pass I poured myself another drink. Pouring far too much vodka into the glass and adding just a splash of orange.

Unfortunately the second glass went straight to my head. Georgina had taken off her cardigan leaving just the t-shirt which I had so studiously studied at the gig. Clearly the drink affected any subtleties.

'Steve.'

'Yeah.'

'You're staring at me.'

I replied with something along the lines, 'aren't I allowed to stare at a pretty girl?'

'Where?' She replied sarcastically.

I laughed, 'you of course.'

'You're only saying that because you're drunk and want to get into my knickers.'

I was taken aback by her abruptness and a deathly silence descended the room.

Next Georgina got up to leave, 'night Steve.'

'Wait.'

'Why?'

'What you said earlier, you were right about one of your assumptions.'

A look of horror in her face.

'And I'm not drunk.'

'What are you trying to say?'

'Come on stop feeling so sorry for yourself I've got something that would make you happy.' I then lurched forward as I tried to kiss her.

She moved out of the way, but undeterred I tried a different track, 'that lad at the party, we're not all like him, I'll show you a good time, I promise...'

I woke up the next morning with a horrible sensation in the pit of my stomach, something bad had happened. Really bad. Over the next few minutes I began to have flashbacks of what happened last night culminating in Georgina slapping me hard round the face and fleeing to her bedroom in floods of tears. Belatedly my left cheek began to throb leaving an indelible reminder of my indiscretions.

I got out of my bed gingerly with a view to going downstairs and getting a glass of water hoping I would not bump into Georgina before I had worked out what to say to her.

Down the stairs I quietly crept, along the hall past her bedroom and into the kitchen. I couldn't hear anything from Georgina's room. A horrible thought then went through my head she might have done something stupid and for a second I thought about knocking on her door to see if she was okay.

I was still thinking that when the door to her bedroom opened, she could not have seen me as she walked a few steps so she was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

'Er Georgina,' I spluttered, 'about...'

But she just turned and fled, her face did look tearful.

"Fuck," I thought to myself, come Monday I'm down the accommodation office to get a transfer out of here.

I downed the pint of water in my hand then filled the glass again, went upstairs and had a shower. My head was still all over the place with the amount of drink I'd had, the events of last night and Georgina's reaction. I needed to get out of the house and clear my head. I spent a few hours wandering aimlessly round town, had something to eat and felt a bit better.

I wandered back to the house with a view to apologising to Georgina and explaining I'd be looking to find somewhere else to live.

Back at the house I could hear music from her room so she was obviously in. A few minutes later I knocked gently at her door. There was no reply so I knocked a bit louder as I said, 'Georgina, it's me Steve are you in?'

The music died and she opened the door, 'I got you a tea.'

Immediately she went on the attack, 'so that makes everything all right then?'

'No of course not, look can we talk?' She eyed me suspiciously.

'Not in my bedroom,' she looked in the direction of the kitchen.

I nodded and she followed a safe distance behind me, 'what is it?'

'About last night, I'm really sorry, I've clearly upset you.'

She nodded.

'And tomorrow I'll go down the accommodation office.'

'Why?'

'To see if they'll transfer me somewhere else.' She looked at me blankly blinking her eyes, 'there's no point in me staying, I can't stand Libby and Maxine, and things with us are now going to be difficult then there's no reason for me to stay.'