"You don't make love to a woman, you make love with her."
W.B.Warren
-------1--------
After six months of having no neighbor, a curiously interesting woman moved into the other side of the duplex where I lived. Finally. Excited to meet her, I brought her over a plate of my freshly baked, chunky oatmeal raisin cookies as friendly new neighbors do.
She opened her door and said, "Thank you." She took the plate of cookies, then rapidly closed the door on me. Was it that cold outside?
I could tell she was middle aged, but clearly very good looking. Something about her seemed distraught. Damn! I didn't even get her name. But she did have the fullest, wavy auburn hair, and the most remarkable, stunning eyes of the deepest blue.
That night, a ravishing woman came to me in a dream. A vision in white. She seemed to be weeping. I ran to her, but she slipped away. I ached inside for a woman just like that. If I ever found her, I would never, ever let her get away.
-----2------
In the morning, my new neighbor had a flat tire and was crying in distress. She couldn't fix it because her spare tire was flat too. I called triple A for her and invited her in for some coffee or tea while we waited. She was acutely aware that my eyes were on her as she glanced at me, smiled briefly, then looked away. She seemed nervous, afraid to touch anything as she sat on my couch.
I approached her. "I never got your name."
"I didn't tell you. But you can call me Joan. Ms. Joan. Nice place. Do you live alone? By the way, those cookies were excellent."
"Thank you. That's what I do. But yeah, don't worry, it's just me and my dog, Sushi. She's a pug. I know. Pugs are from China, and sushi is Japanese. But my long time, silly ex-girlfriend named her. Did you know that pugs are the largest of the toy breed? Anyway. You are a very pretty lady, Joan. Any kids?"
She turned away again. "Me, not so pretty. At least I don't feel so.
Unfortunately, my husband had my tubes tied. He's thankfully gone now. He died in a drunken car crash. If it were up to him, he probably would have had my coochie sewed up too. Didn't want any bawling crumb snatchers running around and he certainly didn't want me screwing anyone else. We rarely had sex. Even then it was over with like that. And I don't even know what a real orgasm is. He was mean and really rough. I think he liked having a gorgeous woman by his side. I'm just glad that it's over with."
"Me too. I'm so sorry."
"Not me. But what about you. Have you ever been married or have any kids of your own?"
"Nope. No kids. I was almost married. I could please her and I loved doing it. But she was terribly vain, and obsessed with herself. Never had the time to please me outside of bed. It just didn't work out. Great piece of ass though. Said the same for me."
"Gosh, I can tell you're pretty smart. Kinda' racy too. Myself, not so much. I get really really cold at night. I need to turn on my SMUD but I won't have any money until next week. My apartment is practically bare."
Please, don't screw this up.
"Know what? I have a pull-out bed underneath this couch. You're more than welcome to stay here until then."
"Please, are you okay with that? Promise I won't be any hassle...got anything to eat? I'm starving."
"No problem. Come into the kitchen with me. I used to be a chef. Yup. Do you like Thai food?"
"Hell, I don't know. But I'll try anything."
"I'll make some shrimp pad Thai for you. Not spicy at all. I promise, you'll love it. It's the national dish of Thailand."
------3------
Joan gobbled down everything saying it was amazing, the best. She must have been very hungry and very tired. I carried her next to my couch, then pulled it out. I laid her down, put a blanket over her, and watched her in her sleep for a minute. So peaceful. So beautiful. So tiny. My vision was becoming real.
Her clothes were absolutely filthy so I set out one of my extra large tee-shirts for her. In the morning, the smell of fresh coffee and sausage cooking must have woke her up. As I was washing some dishes, she came up behind me, hanging her arms around my waist.
"Smells terrific. Good morning. I never got your name."
"My old tee-shirt is way too big, but it looks great on you."
