This is the first of three chapters detailing the sexual awakening of Ann. Through the story, we see where Ann's upbringing caused her conflict. A chance encounter highlighted her need to change.
This is about a good marriage beset by poor communication and how it shook itself almost apart before finding themselves together.
There is no adultery, no swapping.
As Ann pulled into her street, her mind dwelled on what she planned to do. The last few weeks with her husband David had been fraught and she knew she was responsible for that. Instead of confiding in him as she knew she should have and as he had always told her to when there was a problem, she hadn't. Her main character flaw was when a problem was so deeply personal, she would retreat into herself to try and find the reasons and solutions. This had meant she hadn't been open with him and she knew he resented the way she had been avoiding him.
She was home early so she could prepare herself. She had resolved to dress in a way she had never done for him with some very sexy lingerie underneath. David had often asked her to do something like this and she hoped this would both tease and excite him. It scared her to death. Tonight, she meant to explain everything about the last four weeks to him and what she had discovered which would hopefully improve their future.
He was her one love and she needed to show him that.
She was jolted from her introspection when she saw David's car in the driveway. He always put it in the garage! Why was it there? He hadn't mentioned finishing early today. As she took this in, her subconscious reminded her the last few days had been even more strained for some reason. She had caught him looking suspiciously at her quite a few times. He would look away quickly, but not before she caught flashes of anger in his eyes. She knew she should have asked him what was wrong, but she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts.
She grabbed her briefcase and handbag and headed into the house. She stopped just a few steps into the hallway. David was there but heading out. Her arrival obviously surprised David. His facial expression showed he was very unhappy. His eyes held hers and she could see the fury within, directed at her. He had a case in his hand.
"David, what is going on? Are you going on a trip? You haven't mentioned anything like that to me," Ann asked doubtfully.
Her mind was reeling. Had that sewer rat Brian Mulholland really gone ahead and told David they were having an affair? That was the only reason she could think of for the look in David's eyes. The case, he was leaving her!
Ann's heart rate and blood pressure were going through the roof. She was bloody angry. At David for believing that arsehole but even more at herself for not speaking with David sooner!
When she spoke, the anger was evident in her tone. Her eyes blazing as she held his stare.
"David, I have loved you and only you since we first met over eighteen years ago. I have never thought to question your love for me or your trust in me until now. The fact that you have packed and are leaving indicates that you believe what that lowlife Brian Mulholland has said about the two of us.
"That fact alone hurts deeply," she said very sadly, with the hurt being very evident.
"I have never and could never even think about having an affair because I love you, only you.
"I'm home early because I was planning this evening to show you how much I love you by dressing in a way you have asked me to for years. For you to enjoy as I explained what has been going on, what has caused the recent rift between us. What I have learned and how I intend to make our future better. I still want to do that. All I'm asking for is your time to listen to me and I'll provide you proof that I'm not having an affair.
"I know I am responsible for your feelings of distrust because that low life said something which resonated in me. You know how I get when something is so deeply personal. The more personal the more I look inside myself when I should instead have come to you. I know I should have done that. I told myself repeatedly to do that, but I couldn't; I was so ashamed. For that omission I'm truly sorry.
"If you leave without allowing me to show you that I haven't had an affair, I don't know if we can rebuild what we will break. I'll still love you, but it would be very difficult to live with you knowing that you didn't trust me enough even to listen to me.
"The only time we have lied to each other since we first met was when we were planning surprises for the other, little white lies.
"Please stay, sit down and let me explain everything."
She concluded quietly and sadly, " If afterwards you still wish to leave, I won't stop you."
David heard her tone, her anger but what really scared him was when she said if he left, they could not rebuild what they had. He had been angry since he had been told about her affair. She was denying any such affair. He had always been sure she never would have one like he would never have one so why did he believe this story.
His mind was split. One part wished to leave, get the split over and done with but the other, still in love with Ann wanted to hear her. She had never done anything to cause him to have a moment of distrust until now so why not listen. What did he have to lose? A few minutes of his time. What should he do? Stay or go?
David finally nodded and went into the dining room where he sat down.
"Ann, you've correctly surmised what I have been told but it wasn't by him, it was by a person I had no reason to doubt. I would have dismissed this as I have never until this moment had any cause to doubt you. However, the last few weeks have been difficult, as though you were someplace else. With him, I'm now told.
"You say you can disprove all that. I want you too as I don't want to live with the pain I'm feeling now. I love you but I cannot stay if you have been unfaithful to me."
Ann saw the sadness within him and heard the pain in his voice.
"David, can you give me a few minutes to take off my coat and prepare my evidence? I was going to have it all ready to show you when you came home later."
David nodded. He was still in shock at what was going on. The reality of her having an affair was destroying him. He had never thought her capable of cheating on him. The fact his friend had struggled to tell him had hurt him so much. His friend was so sorry for him, he would never have believed it but? He hoped she would prove his friend wrong. But how close did she come to having one if she was with this person? He was trying to evaluate all that he had been told and what she said but he couldn't truly focus on it. He didn't want to lose Ann, but he couldn't live with her if she had even contemplated an affair.