ANN'S SECRET
Ann had been making the twenty-five-mile trip to Landover, where she met with a therapist who was highly recommended for matters dealing with sexual abuse, for just over two years now. Whether the therapy sessions were helpful was debatable, but she enjoyed spending a little time on her own.
A few months ago, she turned the trip into an all-day getaway. She shopped, went to the park, and had nice lunches. On these days, she felt free and relaxed.
Sometimes, she looked forward to her free time so much that she would skip the therapy session. Walking around town and ridding herself of the tension from various expectations she and others had placed upon her was more helpful than the sessions. She made a few friends but kept them a secret from Jake, Tina, and her other friends at home.
While it's true that Ann kept a few secret friends in Landover, she kept them mostly at arm's length, only calling on them occasionally. She found her greatest pleasure in spending time at the spacious, lush park, where she enjoyed people-watching from one of the benches along the wide walkway crossing the grounds. She'd decided to secretly cancel any further therapy sessions indefinitely while continuing to make the weekly trip purely for her enjoyment.
Walkers of all ages, both men and women used the walkway. Cyclists and skateboarders mixed into the numbers. There Ann spent hours at a time, fantasizing about many of the men and what they were like personally, as well as sexually. She imagined what their fetishes might be and if they were gentle lovers or more aggressive. To her surprise, Ann also began taking notice of a few women in much the same way. She'd never been with a woman, but now she had to admit to a growing curiosity.
Another park destination she frequented was the athletic fields and courts. Young men, easily young enough to pass as her son, played touch football, soccer, or basketball on the warm, sunny afternoons. Ann found herself aroused by watching their darkly tanned and sweat-shining torsos running, jumping, and stretching in pursuit of winning their game. Ann easily envisioned them contorting their young bodies around her own eager body, willing to be devoured by their wildest desires.
Age made little difference to Ann. While she liked the thought of a young man's stamina, she also recognized how much mystery and experience an older man could offer. They tend to take their time and be more creative and attentive.
To her chagrin, she at times, found herself so lost in the distraction that she caught herself with one of her hands slipped under her blouse and inside her lacy bra, teasing an erect nipple. On another occasion, she was abhorred by finding that she'd lounged back on the bench with an arm extended under the waistband of her linen slacks, with a hand buried inside her wet panties, finding her pleasure spot.
As the weeks went by, Ann found she was placing herself in more and more risky settings and dressing very provocatively. She moved to a closer bench at the courtside of basketball games, sat in the more secluded sections of the walkway, and even began frequenting a local bar largely populated by men who played pool and threw darts. She was drawn to the roughness of their ways.
Oddly, she was, at the same time, detaching herself from Jake and resisting his amorous advances. She was as confused as anyone would be if they followed her footsteps during the past weeks. She was concerned, but extremely excited. She decided that sex with Jake might be too easily obtained. She wanted a challenge, along with the risks accompanying it. She had fantasies that needed to be fulfilled.
Her reasons for limiting sexual release with Jake, however, were beyond her understanding, so she mentioned it to her therapist at her last session. He told her it likely had something to do with her lack of self-worth. He said she was self-deprecating herself, by subconsciously thinking she didn't deserve to enjoy sex so completely. He thought that was manifesting itself in the way she was dressing and the places she frequented. She didn't agree, however. Lately, she'd just built up an uncontrollable urge for sex with deep dark strangers - many of them - in risky settings that could become dangerous. That excited her beyond belief!
Yet, nothing much had happened while in Landover. A couple of the young men she watched play basketball would sit beside her to flirt now and then when they needed a breather. The smell of perspiration and raw male testosterone drove her wild. One of the players had made advances, making it clear that he was interested, but she'd sidestepped them so far, although she did get his cellphone number. She often fantasized about giving his sweaty member a handjob there on the bench while his friends continued their game. Maybe she would tease him with that next time she saw him. The idea of his friends catching her in the act infatuated her.
What she was looking for wasn't clear, but she was fantasizing more regularly about being forced to have sex with a dark stranger. His face was never visible in her dreams, as he always took her from behind, restraining her from turning around. Sometimes, there were two of them taking her at once.
She was masturbating frantically at any chance, always visualizing an unseen stranger taking her against her will. One thing was clear, something needed to happen soon, or she was going to resort to accosting Jake with the most raw animalistic sex he'd ever had, and she was sure he'd had it in many ways. But, he was too easy, and the excitement wasn't in it for her.
The wait wasn't long. On the following week, while sitting along the walkway at the park, a man she'd noticed a time or two, although she couldn't remember exactly where, walked right up and sat beside her.