Are Those My Underwear

"Woah, what the

fuck

, dude?" Rachel stood in the doorway to her room, towel-drying her hair and unable to believe what she saw. Her roommate's boyfriend was reclining on her bed, pants around his ankles, rubbing his cock.

"Uh, do you mind?" Norm responded shamelessly, without stopping. "I'm mid-stroke, here."

"Do I mind?" She sputtered, genuinely at a loss for words. "Are those my fucking underwear?"

"Yeah," he moaned, holding them to his nose and inhaling deeply. "They smell great."

"What the fuck are you doing here? Where's Laurel?"

"She picked up a shift at the bar. Left me here high and horny, so I figured I'd squeeze one out."

"I'm not asking why you're here in the apartment," she said through gritted teeth. "You're

always

fucking here. I mean, why the

fuck

are you jerking off in my room?"

"Duh, that's where your dirty laundry is. Hey, can you stop swearing so much? It's a real turn-off."

"For fuck's sake, Norm!" She threw her hair towel on the floor and stomped her foot. "I told Laurel you were a loser, but this is a new low."

"I wouldn't say new," he chuckled, oblivious to her anger. "I do this all the time! It's just that, usually, I finish before you get out of the shower."

"Will you fucking

stop

rubbing yourself in front of me?"

"Can't do it, man." He took another whiff and sighed. "Sorry you had to see this, but I'm building up to a monster climax. If you just leave for a few minutes, I can finish and get out of your way."

"You're not 'in my way!' You're jerking off in my fucking bed!"

"Don't be dramatic, I'm not

in

your bed, I'm

on

your bed."

"Wait, is this why all my goddamn underwear keep disappearing? You've been taking them to jerk off with?"

"Oh yeah, your panties smell

unreal

. That scent gets me so hard. And when I put them around my cock like this?" He sighed as he wrapped the satin fabric around his head and continued stroking. "It feels amazing, especially the silky ones."

"Fucking gross! And why mine? You're dating Laurel, use hers!"

"Nah, hers are all cheap cotton. The elastic chafes. Plus, they don't smell as good as yours."

"Stop fucking talking about how good I smell!"

"Jeez, learn to take a compliment."

"Is that why you steal them? Do you keep them stashed away somewhere to sniff?"

"Nah, I just throw them out."

"You... You fucking what?"

"After I cum in your panties, I toss 'em." He sighed, switched hands, and kept stroking. "I mean, I thought about putting them back in your laundry basket, but I figured you'd notice the spunk, get pissed, and start yelling at me, like you are now. Seemed easier for everyone to just put your panties in the garbage."

"Okay, first,

stop

saying that fucking word."

"What, panties?"

"Yes," she shuddered. "I hate it. And second, those underwear cost money!"

"Eh, you can afford it. You got that hot-shot advertising job."

"I'm a part-time intern!"

"Same diff." He shrugged. "But fine, I guess now that you know, in the future I can just put them back in the dirty laundry when I'm done."

"You're missing the goddamn point here, Norm!"

"Well, maybe you can explain it later? You're kinda killing my boner."

"I'm killing your boner? Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah. Can you step out and give me, like, fifteen minutes, tops?"

"Fifteen...!" Rachel took a deep breath before she did something she'd have a hard time explaining.

This fucking guy was unbelievable. He was always here, eating all their food, smoking all their weed, and scratching himself on the couch. She couldn't understand what Laurel saw in him. Well, no. Clearly, what she saw in him was surprisingly girthy and currently wrapped in Rachel's favorite black satin hipsters.

What made things worse was the increasingly hard-to-deny undercurrent of arousal beneath her anger. Her heart was pounding, and she was undeniably livid, but some part of her limbic system was responding inappropriately to the intensity of the situation. She crossed her arms over the thin fabric of her nightshirt, not wanting him to see how hard her nipples had become.

This was so stupid. She hated him and the fact that he genuinely seemed not to understand why she'd be upset. How could he not get that what he was doing was a violation? She wanted to scream and throw things at him. He looked at her with that dumb expression, as if

she'd

somehow intruded on

him

. Asking her to step out? Outrageous! She wanted to shut him up. She wanted to cover his mouth until he couldn't breathe, to see his eyes widen in alarm.

She wanted to

smother

him.

Huh.

She had an idea.

"Norm, how many pairs of my underwear have you thrown out over the two years you and Laurel have been dating?"

"Jeez, can this really not wait? I guess like twenty or twenty-five?"

"Twenty-fucking-five?" The number was shockingly high. That meant twenty-five times, he'd snuck into her room. Twenty-five times, he jerked off with her underwear. Twenty-five times, he threw them out.

"Give or take," he shrugged.

Her cheeks burned with humiliation. She'd noticed, of course, but it had happened slowly enough, she'd chalked it up to the landlord's cheap laundry machines eating them. Just one of those things, like how socks disappear.

"Fucking hell," she frowned, doing the math, "that's, like, five hundred bucks."

"Woah, panties are expensive!" He chortled. "I can get a six-pack of boxers for twenty!"

"Yeah, they're not cheap!" She laughed mirthlessly. "Especially because there's only one brand that fits my hips right."

"That sucks, man." He was clearly losing interest, and hoping she'd leave.

"Yes, it does." She waited a beat. "So, how are you gonna pay me back?"

"Huh?"

"Twenty-five pairs of underwear. Twenty bucks each. That's five hundred dollars you owe me, asshole."

"Woah, I mean, let's not..." His hand paused on his cock. "I mean, that was just an estimate, it's probably less, and, uh, I don't have much cash flow right now..."

"Because you're a loser with no job who hangs out here all day?"

"It's not my fault! The economy's terrible, and no one's..." He laughed. "Oh! You're joking! Man, you had me going there, Rachel. Five hundred bucks! You're funny." He raised her underwear to his face again and inhaled deeply.

"Well, since you don't have any money to pay me back with..." She abruptly pulled her shirt off over her head and stood before him, fully nude.

"Hey, I appreciate the thought," he frowned, "but I don't really need any help? I was already on my way to a killer orgasm before you came in. And not to be rude, but you're not exactly my type."

"Not your type? You're literally huffing my underwear!"

"Nothing personal," he shrugged. "Your tits are okay, and I guess I wouldn't mind looking at them while I jerk off, but that full bush you're rocking is

not

for me."

"Fucking... I'm not stripping for your benefit, dumbass! You owe me a lot of goddamn money." She climbed onto the bed. "And if you can't pay, you'll have to work off your debt."

"How?" He looked genuinely confused as she moved closer.

"Well, since you like smelling my underwear so much, I'm going to sit on your face." With that, she grabbed the headboard and swung her leg over to straddle his head.

"Have you never heard of trimming..." He started saying, but the rest was muffled as she covered his mouth.

"There we go," she grinned, looking down at his shocked eyes. "Finally, you stop talking!"

"Mmmph!" He shook his head and grabbed at her hips.

"Shut up and eat me. The only reason Laurel keeps you around is because you make her cum. Well, you better get me off just as good, if you're gonna cover this debt."

"Aaarrmmph!" He slapped her ass with obvious frustration.

"Oh, spicy!" Rachel laughed and rocked in place, grinding her vulva against his closed mouth. "I don't mind a spanking, but that's not gonna make me cum. And if you don't get started, I'm worried you might pass out."

"Buhmmmph!" He protested, brows furrowed.

"Yeah, I know you use your cock to make Laurel cum," she nodded. "But I'm not interested in your dick. You wanna sniff my underwear? Here you go! Straight to the source! Have all you can take."

He stopped struggling, seeming to consider his position for the first time.

"Come on, Norm. If you think I smell good, why don't you see what I

taste

like?"

Tentatively, he parted his lips.

"That's it," She shivered as he took his first, cautious licks, easing between her folds. "Just like that."

He lifted his chin, exploring her with more confidence. As he spread her open, his eyes opened wide with surprise.

"Oh, you taste me now, don't you?" She laughed, giddy with the rush of power.

He grunted in agreement, and began licking deeper and faster.

"Keep going, there's more cream in there."

As he licked with more enthusiasm, her arousal grew quickly.

"Yeah," she gasped. "Put that annoying tongue of yours to good use. Get my juices flowing."

He grabbed her hips, more confidently this time. She gasped as he pulled her closer. She'd already been inappropriately turned on, and now that she'd taken charge of the situation, her libido was in overdrive.

"Deeper, now, fuck me with your tongue."

She rolled her hips, grinding against his face. The sight of her wetness glistening on his nose and cheeks made her insides clench.

"This is what you wanted, right? A face full of my pussy? My honey in your mouth, my scent in your nose?"

His eyes rolled back in his head, and he moaned in agreement. She leaned forward, shifting the pressure, using his dumb face to stimulate herself.

"Oh, fuck, it feels good when you move your head like that."

He enthusiastically shook his head from side to side, rubbing his nose against her clit. She moaned, feeling the pressure building.

"Keep going, keep going, keep--ah!--going!"

He made urgent little noises, staring up at her with hungry eyes. She groaned and bucked her hips against his face. He let go of her hip and she felt a rhythmic movement behind her.

"Are you touching yourself again, you--uh--little creep? Can't even keep your hand off your--ah!--dick when you've got a mouthful of pussy. Well, remember, you--oh!--got a job to do. Don't--ah!--lose focus. I'm getting close!"

She'd never spoken like this before. Never

demanded

what she needed. It made her feel powerful. The words poured out of her.

"This is all you're fucking good for. You're gonna work off--ah--what you owe me. I'm gonna ride your face--oh!--and drown you in my cum every night. You're mine now, asshole. And if Laurel--ah!--doesn't like it, that's too fucking bad!"

She gripped the headboard tighter. Guys had gone down on her before, but she'd never really allowed herself to enjoy it. She was always holding back, afraid of overdoing it somehow. Now, she didn't care.

"Faster... Fucking--ah!--faster! I'm gonna flood your fucking mouth."

She ruthlessly fucked herself against his face, unconcerned with whether he could breathe, or even if she hurt him. This was about her needs now.

"Oh fuck, here I cum," she moaned. "Open wide, swallow what I give you."

She squealed as her insides clenched rapidly in a sudden and overwhelming release. He sputtered and choked as she gushed in his mouth. Ignoring his reaction, she continued to rub her sensitive pussy against his tongue and mouth and nose. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her system, leaving her breathless.

Suddenly, he tensed, and his eyes rolled back in his head. Something hot and wet splattered against her lower back.

"Gross, you just came all over my ass, you creep!"

He could only moan in response, eyes still rolled back with pleasure. Even through his orgasm, he never stopped working his tongue between her lips, lapping up her juices. Her annoyance receded as her arousal began to climb again. Now that she was on the plateau, it wouldn't take much...

"That was a good start." She looked down at him and growled. "Maybe worth ten bucks off your debt."

He tried to protest, but she ground her pelvis tightly against his mouth to drown him out.

"Shut up. Keep going, I want to see if I can do it agai--"

The bedroom door opened. They'd been too distracted, and hadn't heard Laurel come home.

"Rachel, have you seen..." She stopped abruptly and squealed in shock. "What the fuck? Why are you...? Is that cum? What the

fuck

, you guys!"

He looked up at her with panic in his eyes. She didn't move. He tried to say something, squirming below her, but she kept him pinned.

"Hey, Laurel!" She called cheerily over her shoulder. "Sit down, I have to tell you what your loser boyfriend has been up to, and how he's going to make it up to me."