The final bell had just rung and I dismissed the class, letting them join the screaming horde that was rampaging through the halls of the school. I take English and the final class had been my senior group. They'd had essays due today and I collected them as they left, squashing any excuses for non-delivery. I don't exactly fail a student for non-delivery; I just apply a percentage decrease to their mark for every day late.
Looking at the stack of essays I considered the screaming horde and the location of the teacher's lounge. I decided that instead of fighting my way through the halls I'd just sit at a desk and start grading the papers right away. Not wanting to be disturbed I chose a back corner desk. Any casual glance through the doorway would miss me.
I'd worked for about half an hour when there was an intrusion in the room. I was slightly surprised as half an hour after final bell usually meant that the school was totally deserted. By students, anyway. Staff still had things to do, like reading essays.
The unexpected intrusion was a young lady bursting into the room in a great hurry. Trudi was a senior, one of the girls in my last class, and in a panic. She didn't notice me, rushing over to the desk she'd been using earlier and opening it. What a change. From frantic to completely relaxed in the time it took her to pick up her phone. Apparently she'd stashed it there during class and forgotten to get it, probably having hidden it in a hurry when she thought that I was looking.
I didn't say anything, assuming that she would now depart, and for a moment it looked as though she would. Then she stopped, turned, and looked at the white-board and the marker on the ledge of the board. She strolled over to the white-board and I could hear her give a little giggle.
I have to give her full marks for artistry. She drew an excellent picture of an erect phallus. An elephant would be envious of a cock like that. Then she very neatly wrote a rude message, namely, 'Mr Soames fucks goats'. She then added a couple of hearts for adornment and stepped back to admire her handiwork.
I quietly stood and strolled between the desks towards her.
"Nice artwork," I complimented her, "but where did you learn about my sexual proclivities?"
Talk about an immediate cringe. She actually seemed to shrink several inches as she slowly turned around, blushing fiercely.
"I have seen other example of your, ah, artwork," I told her, "although not directed at me prior to this. Maybe I've just missed the ones you dedicated to me."
I looked at her with one eyebrow lifted, waiting to see if she wanted to comment. She just continued to stand there with a stunned mullet expression on her face.
"What with the theme of the art and the pithy little comments we, the teachers, that is, sort of assumed that the culprit was one of the junior boys. It seemed the sort of thing a thirteen year old would do, although some of the teachers maintained that any male under the age of fifty might be responsible.
For some reason it didn't occur to us that a young lady was the culprit. So you're what, seventeen, going on for thirteen?"
"Eighteen," Trudi said looking insulted that I'd mark her age down.
"Uh-huh. Who was your model? It appears that someone you know has pretty impressive equipment."
She was blushing again, biting her lip, apparently not wanting to reveal her model.
"You are so busted," I said. "I wonder what Mrs Rathine will say when she sees this latest effort."
At the mention of the headmistress Trudi went from blushing to pale so fast I thought she might faint.
"You can't tell her," she gasped. "She'll kill me. After that she'll expel my corpse. You just can't tell her."
Oh yes. Memory beckoned. I'd heard of a choice bit of art that had targeted Mrs Rathine. She would be delighted to kill Trudi and then expel her corpse, which might be a bit of over-kill for the situation. After all, her handiwork was always on white-boards and easily removed. From the boards, if not from the memory.
"Well, that's not my problem. I just have to pass you over for judgement. Your parents might want to discuss the matter with you as well."
"Oh my god! You're not telling my father, are you? He'll kill me."
"My, my. It seems a number of people are going to kill you. I wouldn't worry too much. Mrs Rathine will probably only give you detention for the rest of your school life. I don't think she'll exactly blab to your parents but the detention slip will probably make interesting reading."
Poor Trudi had on a hunted look.
"She'll put down detail," she wailed. "She probably has photos that she'll attach to the slip. I am so dead."
"I'm fairly sure that no-one will actually kill you," I said, "although remembering your little poem about Mr Bunton I can't guarantee that. Still, I think your father will probably restrict himself to a severe beating. Now why don't we wander along to the offices and see if Mrs Rathine is still here."
"Wait a bit, will you. Why can't you punish me? You're the one who caught me. Why does it have to go to Mrs Rathine?"
"Two reasons. The first is because she wants your head on a platter, although I'll admit that she has been assuming that the culprit was one of the junior boys. What she'll say when she finds that you're a senior girl I will be most interested to hear. The second reason is that while I can hand out detentions and extra work for minor infractions your artwork is being considered a major nuisance and both the head-master and head-mistress want to get in on the act."
"But can't you just give me some long detentions or something? It's not as though I'm going to do it again."
"And what would you want me to put on the detention slip? If you think you can get away with just a couple of minor detentions you're dreaming. Might I point out that I'm not exactly happy with your latest effort."
Trudi glanced at the 'Mr Soames fucks goats' graffiti and winced.
"As a matter of curiosity, why this sudden spurt of graffiti? You've never done anything like this in the past."
"Mr Bunton gave me a detention for something that wasn't my fault. We explained that he'd made a mistake but he wouldn't cancel it. It was totally unfair and he knew it but didn't care. That's when I did the first one. There were so many people talking about it afterwards that I guess I just kept on doing them."
