As If You Dont Exist Pt 01

This story is mixed with fiction and reality. Though it's in first person, it's not my own story. Protection was used when necessary, but is not mentioned for the flow of the story. Names have been changed.

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Prologue

"Please call me at every stop, and when you get there. I'm going to be a nervous wreck with you driving so far alone," I said, the tears beginning to form.

My boyfriend Alex was leaving Texas to go to Florida to live with his grandparents. He'd lost his job a few months ago, and simply couldn't make ends meet on his own anymore, so he was leaving to get back on his feet with some help... and I was useless.

Alex and I had been together for three years. Our jobs and apartments were in different towns about thirty minutes away from each other, so we couldn't live together, but we'd spent every possible minute together since before we'd even started dating. I wasn't sure what in the world I'd do without him. I mean... from Texas to Florida... that's not your average every day trip.. I couldn't up and leave to see him whenever I wanted.

He saw the tears in my eyes slowly forming, and brought me in for a hug, "Carrie..." he mumbled into my hair, "Don't... Don't cry. This is hard enough for me.. please don't cry. I'll be back as soon as I can get the money. You have to know this is the only way... You can't afford to support me, and I can't find a job here.. I'd love to take you with me, but we know that can't work. Just be strong for me."

I sniffled into his chest, and nodded, doing my best not to let my tears spill over. He tilted my chin up, and kissed me the way I loved to be kissed.

Alex was not the most gorgeous guy you've ever seen. A tall, thin frame under dark hair and glasses made up your average looking Joe. There was nothing really extraordinary about his looks, but dear Lord the man could kiss like a god. It was like he knew exactly how to make me melt.

He kissed me, closed mouthed, then slowly, his lips opened to mine, and his tongue came to explore mine as his hands came to caress my hips. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth before his lips moved to my ear, "Just remember last night. It's a fond memory for us to part with. And I'll be back at least to visit before you know it."

I shivered and blushed at the thought of the night before. Alex and I had our share of sexual adventures, but that night had been the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced. We'd made love...like never before. It was slow and sensual, moving in one motion together.. He'd whisper my name as I'd moan his, our chests meeting as we kissed, and our hips connecting as he moved through me, pushing and pulling... And when we came... it was like a tide washing over me, enveloping me. I'd never felt anything so strong in my life.

It was certainly a night to remember... a night who's memory would be my companion for many nights to come... too many. It would be so hard to be alone after having that sort of connection. I was sure I'd go crazy without him.

I hugged him closely, again, breathing him in, nearly unwilling to let him go. He kissed the top of my head, then tilted my head again to kiss my lips. Tears began to form again, and one strolled down my cheek. He sighed against my lips and whispered, "You know I love you."

I nodded and found a weak voice, "I love you too."

He glanced down at his watch, then back up at me, a pained expression on his face, "It's time for me to go, babe.."

I simply nodded in defeat, and he kissed me again before getting in his car. The window down, he looked at me and said, again, "I love you. I'll call you at every stop, and when I get there. I promise... I love you."

"I love you, too." I held my head up, determined not to cry again until he'd left. He already felt bad enough for having to go.

He pulled away slowly, then drove off, headed for the highway. I stood alone in front of his apartment complex, the wind pushing me toward my own car.

I sat down, the steering wheel burning my hands, the car's heat nearly suffocating. Without even turning the car on, I just sat and stared. I wasn't crying anymore. Had this been a sudden thing, I probably would have been, but we'd been discussing it for a while. It wasn't a shock.. yet it didn't seem real. Not real at all

Chapter 1

It turned out not to be all that bad. Of course I missed Alex, but there was nothing either of us could do about that. He was working on finding a good, stable job, and I was waiting on him to come home. We talked nearly every night before bed.

Sometimes it resorted in fighting.

"How's the job hunt goin' babe?" I asked one night, my intentions completely innocent.

"Well.. I still haven't found anything. I've been applying, but no calls... no interviews.."

I sighed into the phone, my disappointment clear. I hesitated, then quietly asked, "Babe..have you thought anymore about... college or trade school? I just seems to me that..."

It was then his turn to sigh, he interrupted me with the same old argument, "Carrie, you know how I feel about that. My dad didn't go to college.. Neither did my grandfather. College isn't for me, babe... it was great for you, but I don't think I could do it."

"Alex... your dad packs his wife and your brothers in his mother-in-law's double wide. And your grandfather was in the military, and is now retired... that's completely different. You could do it if you want the money bad enough..."

"Stop, Carrie. We've talked about this. I told you I can do just fine without spending all the kinds of money you spent on college. Yeah, you have a great job, but for what price? Nearly every dime you make goes back to college loans, and the rest on rent."

"Well at least I still have a rent to pay," I mumbled. I knew it was a cheap shot, but it hurt when he talked down to me like that. Of course, my retaliation only made things worse.

A heavy sigh, then silence came from his end before he muttered, "I'm just gonna go, Carrie. I'm really tired. I love you. Good night."

The click of the phone sounded before I could even reply.

Other times, it ended in phone sex, which was the preferred alternative on my part.

"What are you wearing," he'd asked me teasingly.

I giggled and reply, "Hmm.. what do you want me to be wearing?"

"Nothing would be nice."

"Well, what a coincidence," I teased, my voice getting huskier, "I just happen to be wearing exactly that."

"Mmmm...I wish I could see. I miss your body, baby. Your pretty little mouth.. neck.. nipples... I love sucking your nipples baby...and your clit..."

By this time, my hands were caressing my sex over my panties, and I could feel my heat and wetness mingling there. He heard my breaths become heavier, knowing exactly what I was doing on my end of the phone.. where my little fingers were touching.

"That's it baby... Touch yourself for me... Think of my hard cock pressed against you... the way you stretch to let me inside you... the way I make you cum."

I sighed as my fingers moved inside my panties to touch my wet pussy, my fingers gliding in between my silky slit.

"Oooh, Alex.." I purred.

"Yeah, baby.. Tell me how it feels.. What exactly are you doing?"

It took a minute for me to get it out, but finally I said, "Mmm... Touching myself... It feels good baby.." My fingers were beginning to open me up, my hole beginning to squeeze on my middle finger.

"Mmmm... what are you thinking of?"

I gasped into the phone, my mind on the night before he left, "How deep you were inside me.. before you left... Mmmm, Alex..."

"Ohh yes.. Just thinking about that night gets me hard.."

I continued my moaning as he whispered dirty things to me and stroked himself. I ended up moving a second finger inside me, and petting my clit with my other hand, my growing excitement obvious to him. His breathing became heavier, and soon I let out a loud moan mixed of curses deities along with his name.

"Mmmm..." his sleepy voice drifted over the phone, my eyes also getting heavy, "Love you..."

"You too..."

It was nights like those that my loyalty to him was never questioned. Nights that I remembered how close we were... how I really did love him.

Soon, though, I became restless. I missed him, and I missed sex. Not even just sex, but touching someone. I'd been nothing but loyal to him the entire three years of our relationship...but had the time come to end it?

Alex had been my first real relationship. Sure I'd been with a couple of guys from high school through college, but nothing serious had ever come of it. He was the first guy who I could call my boyfriend and never question whether or not it was true.

Not that I'm just a beauty queen. I have sort of a strange look about me. I'm rather short, about five feet and two inches, which gives me a petite body with short, shapely legs, full hips, and a small/medium sized chest. I have short spiky black hair that's feminine, but quirky, and blue, mischievous eyes. I suppose you'd call me cute rather than pretty or sexy.

I was contemplating my situation with Alex one day when I went into work. I worked at a music recording studio in Austin as a back up singer, and pianist. I'd went to college for vocal and piano performance, and scored the best job in the world where I got to sing and play all kinds of music, both types I knew well, and types I got to learn along the way.

"Carrie, I need a favor," I turned to see Chad Newlan. Ooh Chad. Chad was a tall, sort of skinny (but that's my type) guy with this amaaazing dark sexy hair over these sexy mysterious eyes, and slightly scruffy facial hair, a killer smile, and full, perfect lips. Just looking at him got me hot... even though it shouldn't.

There was quite a bit of history where Chad and I were concerned. We had basically grown up together going through elementary, jr. high, and high school together. We separated schools in college, though we'd both stayed in Austin.

Our freshman year of college had been rather interesting. We'd dated, but it was complicated. He was...gorgeous to me. Always had been. Chad had always been... that guy to me. You know, like in those chick flicks. He was that guy who is beautiful and perfect and everything you've ever wanted in a partner who never recognizes that you are around. The one who you pretend to have conversations with when you're alone in your bed at night, saying everything you wish you could say to him, and pretending to hear everything you wish you could hear from him.

He was really into me, and I could tell, but he seemed to be holding back. We never had sex, though I suspect that was because I was a virgin at the time. However, we never did anything other than kiss. But hey, I wasn't complaining. The man could kiss me all day long and you'd never hear me complain once. His lips against mine was the most amazing feeling... Alex could make me melt, yes, but Chad could make me want to jump his bones right then and there, no matter where we were. He just...made my blood boil.

Everything was fine until he took me home to meet his parents. Typical, I know. I was.. from the wrong side of the tracks. My family was a lower middle class, pay check to pay check kind of family, where as his was... well... not. His mom soon found him a girl of... like proportions, which caused him to break up with me after only two months of dating.

A few years later, and apparently we both applied to the same place. I applied everywhere I could, in and out of town, just trying to get a job. Apparently, when I was looking, backup singers weren't in demand. I took the first job I was given, and walked in on my first day to find Chad Newlan. I was so floored you could have knocked me over with a feather.

"...Carrie?"

"Oh my God.. Chad??"

"Hey... what are you doing here...?" He asked me quizzically. Yeah, nice to see you too. Geeze.

"I... I work here now..."

"...Oh! Doing.. what?"

Um.. rude.

"Backup singing...maybe a little piano... they just said singing for now.."

"Oh... well.. cool. I guess we'll be...working together," He almost grimaced. Geeze. What had I ever done to him?! He dumped me!

"Oh... you work here?" I wanted to be just as insulting, but being that harsh doesn't come natural for me

"Yeah... I produce.. play a little bass.." he started to trail off when I interrupted.

"Oh... cool.. Well see you 'round then," I muttered, brushing past him. I just wanted to get out of there at that point.

"Oh... yeah... see you," he said behind me, his eyes following me out.

It's a little pathetic, but I never really got over him. Sure, I'd moved on, obviously, but having to be around him all the time, especially at our job where he was around me nearly every waking moment... it was torture. He was so sexy, and witty, and charming.. not toward me of course. He avoided me like the plague. But he was charming in general...and it was maddening. Even while Alex still lived close by.

However, he didn't seem bothered by my presence at all. As a matter of fact he barely noticed my existence... except for right now, of course, when he needed a favor.

I simply looked up at him, waiting for him to continue, so he went on. "Tia called in sick, and she was supposed to play for a recording in thirty minutes... I pulled a few strings and got your schedule for the day covered by Janet, so will you play for Tia?"

"Sure, no prob. Wherever you need me."

He smiled that million dollar smile, and sighed, "Thanks a lot Carrie. I was in a real rut. You're a life saver."

I smiled and nodded as he turned to leave, and enjoyed the view as he walked away. He'd always had a nice ass.

Later that day, we were working in the studio, and I was having a lot of trouble with Tia's part. She was a better pianist than me. My forte was singing, and hers piano, so I was struggling to get her part down well enough for a recording. The other musicians began to trickle out, their parts finished, leaving me and Chad alone.

I huffed in frustration, my patience wearing down with every wrong chord. "I'm sorry, Chad... I'm trying... This is much harder than I expected it to be."

"It's ok.. We have to lay this down tonight though. Just take five and calm down. You get sloppy when you get frustrated."

Knowing it was true, I sighed and stretched, yawning, "I'm gonna grab a water from the vending machine... you want anything?"

"Eh... nah I'm good. Thanks though. I'll be here when you get back."

I took off, suddenly completely parched. I practically attacked the bottle when I got it, sucking every last drop out of it right there in the hallway.

I walked back in, tossing the bottle to the trashcan, then missing of course, (for I'm the least athletic person in the universe) so I bent down to pick it up. I heard Chad's throat clear, and I turned quickly... just in time to catch him staring at my ass.

He cleared his throat again, and mumbled, "There's no way you drank all that just now..."

I blushed, probably from the stare rather than his words, "Yup.. I did..."

It got quiet and increasingly awkward before I sighed, "I suppose back to work.."

"Right.. let me get back in the booth.."

He left to got to his part of the room, and I left to go to mine. I began, getting much of the piano part correct, but once I got to the bridge, it fell apart.

I huffed, getting weary of this pattern, so he tried to reassure me, "Carrie it's ok. That was over half the song that I can get out of that take. Relax."

"I'm tired Chad and I can't get this bridge. I don't know how Tia does it. It doesn't make sense and I can't hear how it's supposed to sound."

He came into my booth, and gently pulled me away from the keyboard, his hands on my shoulders, "Here... let me show you, k?"

"I didn't even know you played keys, Chad..."

"Well," he grinned, placing his hands hesitantly on the keyboard, "there are a lot of things a lot of people don't know about me."

He basically blew my mind. God, was there anything this guy couldn't do? He played the bridge flawlessly, then stepped back, letting me take my place again.

"Just do like I showed you. Practice first."

I began, but soon he interrupted me, "There's your problem right there. You're using a second inversion on that E-flat instead of the root. If you do that, you can't hit that run from the B-flat quick enough... that's why you keep getting all tangled up. Here," he stood behind me, his large hands covering mine, "just like this."

He moved with my hands, showing me exactly where to go, and when. A piece of my hair was tickling my cheek, so I turned my head to shake it off, only to be so very close to Chad's mouth that was tilted down over my shoulder.

I froze, my heart so suddenly racing. I barely noticed that he was as distracted as me, the music we were making coming to a complete stop. My eyes floated up to his, and it was almost like slow motion. He leaned in first, and I held my breath, my eyes starting to close.

The kiss was just as I had remembered it. He moved a hand up to my chin, tilting it to meet his lips, his tongue slipping into my mouth and leaving me breathless. I tilted my head up farther, my hands moving to wrap into his soft curls. I pulled him closer, and turned, our bodies nestling tightly into each other's.

His mouth slowly began to move softly across my chin and down to my neck, his hands moving up my sides, toward my chest that was pressed against his. I leaned my head to the side, giving him access to my neck as I sighed, one of my hands drifting down his back.

It travelled further down, and reached the top of his pants, playing with the belt loop. I reached down further, finding the bulge on his right leg, and squeezed it through the material.

He gasped against my neck and whispered, "Carrie..."

Turning me, he gently pushed me against the wall to my right, and put a little more of his weight on me, leaning against me as he lifted my jean-clad leg to move around his hip. His mouth trailed back up to kiss my lips, his mouth devouring mine, hungrily searching me.

He teasingly traced imaginary lines down my breasts and stomach, reaching all the way down to my covered thighs. Even through the material, my skin was on fire, every single touch from him leaving me feeling so hot and bothered. I sighed against his lips, and squeezed around his member again, feeling the girth of him in my searching hands.

Finally, he reached to my aching pussy, rubbing hard against me, trying to let me feel the sensation through the thick material. I writhed against his hand, leaning my head back against the wall, his lips still moving against mine as I moaned onto them.

His other hand moved up my shirt, touching.. grasping.. squeezing me as his thumb rubbed over my nipple that was also covered by pesky material. He pulled his hand away from my cunt and began to grind against me. Even through the material, I could feel his pulsing cock pushing against me, seeking me. He lifted my leg that was around his waist even higher and tighter against him as he moved harder on me, making me quiver under him, his hands then at my hips, pushing us together. His mouth once again possessed mine, his tongue dancing in my mouth, and my moans became continuous as my need for him grew.

We both jumped as a love song bursted into the air, seeming to come from his back pocket. He pulled away, and breathed, "Shit..."

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he quickly lifted it to his ear, "Hello?"

I stood silently to the side, straightening my clothes and hair, trying to hear the undeniably female voice on the other end to no avail.

"No honey.. I have to work a little late tonight...I know, I know, we had a date... I just have something I have to get done. I'll be there as soon as possible... Ok... I love you, too. Bye."