You know that feeling when you go to a wedding by yourself and hope to meet an unattached woman -- one that you hit it off with immediately and who wants to drag you into bed and have wild sex for days. That was the feeling I got at my cousin's wedding. My luck came but not in the way I imagined.
I was assigned to a table with some cousin of the bride. Sheila was a few years older than me, divorced, mid-height, with blonded hair that swayed around her shoulders when she moved her head, eyes that stared out from behind heavy mascara, and several pounds overweight. Her dress was a size too small and it showed every curve of her waist and bottom and her terrific cleavage.
Even though thirty-somethings were my vice, to the detriment of my marriage, we clicked immediately as we ate our way through the wedding breakfast. The champagne might have had something to do with it, but who was I to complain?
The only problem was her daughter. Ashleigh was a cracking younger version of the mother: taller, a head-turner with raven hair, slim figure and on the way to developing her mother's breasts. An inherent beauty, she was a girl ahead of her years, destined to spend life in the forefront. The trouble was she knew it and wore her precocity like a badge.
Ashleigh seemed to want to undermine the chemistry that built between Sheila and me. I imagined she was protecting her mother from making silly mistakes and admired her for it, even if her interruptions became tiresome.
I decided to play it long -- to take the subtle approach and hoped Sheila got the message. The dancing started and, fortified by the wine, I asked everyone up on the floor: cousins, cousins of cousins, aunts dead to me for years, the bride, women I'd never met before, and Ashleigh. I got through at least a dozen before getting round to Sheila.
It was one of those dances with lots of arm movements and waving around in the air. Sheila did them all, her breasts cavorting in front of my eyes with every gesture and Chanel Number 5 wafting all around me. I could tell she knew exactly what she was doing and she seemed to like to tease me. How I kept my erection under control I will never know -- probably something else to thank the wine for.
Ashleigh sat opposite us, across the dance floor. I felt her eyes drilling into me, wide, accusing, warning me off. Whenever I glanced in her direction, she looked at me as if I was all the evil in Hell, with an expression that made me realise I'd get nowhere with Sheila while her daughter was around.
After that visual slap-down, I slipped Sheila my business card with my phone number and told her to follow it up. I tried not to let Ashleigh see, but her eyes followed me like lasers and I couldn't be sure, especially as Sheila looked at it deliberately before putting it into her handbag, which she tapped as a sign of affirmation.
I asked Ashleigh to dance again to see if I could find out what she saw, but it was hopeless.
"You're a good mover ... for an older man," she told me at the end, with the directness of youth. "It's nice of you to say."
"The other men are so minging."
She meant it as a complement and made it clear she expected a second dance by holding onto my arm. I thought it was to keep me away from her mother, who raised her eyebrows at me as I looked over Ashleigh's shoulder.
"You must work out," Ashleigh said, her directness unabated. "I can feel the strength in your biceps."
"I do a bit."
"I bet you do," she said in a suggestive way. Could it be? Was an eighteen year old coming on to me -- a girl half my age, who I wouldn't normally be interested in? It didn't fit in with the looks she gave me when I danced with her mother. In a way, it was flattering and I assumed the champagne went to her head too.
Before I needed to worry, Sheila saved me, whisking her away, from me and the party. She pecked my cheek as she left and whispered that she'd give me a ring. So it was a result and I left happy.
-----
I couldn't understand why Sheila didn't ring, so I put it down to being another opportunity that escaped me.
A few days later, the voice on the phone surprised me. "Hello, we met at the wedding ... remember?"
It sounded distinct but not quite the voice of Sheila that I remembered, but I was rather well oiled with wine that day, so couldn't be certain. Perhaps the phone's electronics distorted the sound, or my ears.
"Sure ... I hoped you would call," I replied, the image of Sheila's body swaying to the music building in my mind, but not quite morphing with the voice. I hesitated before continuing, aware that I could spoil my chances if I took the wrong line. "You sound different on the phone."
"Do I? Well it's the same Ashleigh that you met before."
The image of Sheila evaporated from my mind, to be replaced by the taller, slimmer, and darker version. Some sort of palpitation rattled in my chest as a rush of adrenaline spread through my body. "Where did you get my number from?"
"I pinched your card from Mum's bag."
Then I knew why Sheila hadn't been in touch.
"What can I do for you?" I asked, trying to sound casual and not to leap to conclusions.
"Well ... I thought you and me got on well," she stuttered, sounding less confident than at first. "And ... so ... well ... I wondered ... like ... if you'd ... like ... we could meet up some time."
"How old are you?"
"Eighteen."
"Ashleigh, I would love to but ... you must understand ... I think you're a bit young for me ... so ... not really."
"I think you're too young for my mother ... but that didn't stop you fawning all over her," she said in raised tones, annoyed at my put-down.
I admit to being tempted as her image rattled around my head: a model's figure; dark hair falling around her face and shoulders; wide hazel eyes, wearing too much makeup; a stub of a nose. It worried me to remember so much detail. Somehow, I found a way to finish the call.
-----
A couple of weeks later, the voice on the phone said, "Hello, it's me ... Ashleigh."
"Are you pestering me?"
"It's been ages since we last spoke," she said, ignoring my question, "anyway ... I'm older now."
"This has to stop, Ashleigh."
"I'm not doing any harm ... I only want to talk ... and stuff."
"That wouldn't be wise."
"You don't know what it's about."
"I'm twice your age."
"That's why I'm calling. I need to talk to an older man ... a man with experience."
"You want advice?"
"Yeh, sure ... that's exactly it."
"Ask your dad."
"You are joking ... right?"
"Find someone else."
"There is nobody," she said, a hint of pleading entering her tone, a tone any man would find hard to resist, a tone used to getting its own way.
"So you want to meet up ... is that it?"
"I could come round to your place."
"You don't know where I live."
"Of course I do ... I looked it up."
Faced with such persistence and intrigued and, I have to admit, aroused at the thought of seeing Ashleigh again, I agreed she could come round. I wondered if I'd made a mistake as soon as I put the phone down.
-----
I knew I'd made a mistake when I opened the door of my apartment the following Saturday afternoon. It was a warm day and Ashleigh turned up in a denim micro-skirt, with a white T-shirt barely covering the lace edge of a pink bra. Her breasts seemed larger than I remembered, though her legs were just as straight and long and thin. Her mother's Chanel Number 5 drifted past me as I held the door open for her.
She accepted a coke and a chair. I sat on the settee opposite. She stretched out her bare legs in a gesture that was at once intimidating and inviting, especially as her skirt rode up even further, not that it bothered her. Her legs were faux tanned and blemish-free, not even a hair in sight, which made me think she'd had them waxed and sprayed, the rest of her body looked sprayed too.
I tried not to stare and forced myself to look straight into her face and slightly over her shoulder -- I didn't want her to get the wrong idea -- the sort of idea that was buzzing through my mind, despite the difference in our ages.
"What can I do for you, Ashleigh?"
The question made her pause and look around, as if taking the time to appreciate the plainness of the furnishings in my bachelor apartment.
"A girl like me ... well ... like ... gets a lot of attention, you know."
"It's hardly surprising if you dress like that."
"Don't you like it?"
"Who wouldn't? I replied, trying to keep my inner feelings under control.
My flattery bolstered her and she looked me straight in the eyes. "The fact is ... I've had experience with boys ... and stuff."
"Where were girls like you when I was your age?"
"That's the problem ... when you were my age, you would have been just like them ... a boy ... not a man ... no experience ... you know what I mean?"
"What can I do about it?" I asked, beginning to understand her persistence in pursuing me.
She looked down as if considering her reply. "A boy has never given me an orgasm," she said, quietly but unashamed, as if it was a normal topic of conversation between people who hardly knew each other.
It was my turn to look away, but my eyes kept straying back to look at her long, bare legs and her tits before I forced myself to look away again. While this was going on, I searched for a way of answering her. What could I say? How could such a beautiful creature talk so matter-of-factly about such an intimate subject? No answers came to mind as I sought words to match hers and tried not to look her over, although I couldn't stop, and fought the flush of panic surging through me.