In most cases, the pleasure you get from sex is proportional to the pleasure you give. So, if sex is not so good, look at yourself first.
However, there was a woman in college I bedded who, despite my best efforts, defied that logic.
I came to know her through a theater crowd but she kept appearing in other social groups, so I saw her quite often. I liked her the moment I met her because she had a real "up" personality, a quirky sense of humor, and made great conversation--one of those people you just immediately feel comfortable with.
Usually dressed in the "Annie Hall" style popularized by the Woody Allen movie of the same name, she was attractive looking, too, with long, ultra-thick, frizzy blonde hair; big, hazel eyes; full lips; and a giant white smile. Tall and long-legged, she had a very fleshy, jiggley bottom, and some of the most peculiar, though to me extremely sexy, breasts I've ever seen.
I saw a funny cartoon years ago that categorized tits, and hers were of the "banana boobs" variety. Picture this: cut a peeled banana crossways in half, place the halves with the cut ends against the upper chest, with the fruit curving upward, and to the tips add nipples centered in puffy areolas, and, voila, you have her tits.
Firm, long, and narrow, curving down then dramatically back up and out, they jiggled with even her slightest movements, quite visible since she never wore a bra. The jiggling was quite visible, but since she never wore low-cut or clingy tops, the whole banana-boob phenomenon was completely hidden from view.
I'd known her about a year and finally asked her out. She sounded really excited when she accepted, and we went to a local pizza place for deep-dish and dark beer. We're having a grand time, and I'm moving ever closer in when she interrupts the good times to say, "I really like you and figure you'll want go to bed with me tonight, but I gotta tell you up front that I'm a really lousy lay."
Now I've heard a lot, but never this. I really LIKE this girl, the date's going super, and she tells me she stinks in bed! Was this a clever way to let me know she just wanted to be friends?
I truthfully tell her my feelings--that I liked her from the moment I met her, had grown to like her even more, thought she was extremely sexy, and, yes, wanted to make love with her. I then gave her a deep, soft French kiss, our first, and she French-kissed me back. Hmmmm, a rather dead kisser, but I attributed that to anxiety caused by the drunk guys at the next table heckling us.
We finished our Heinekin Darks and walked back to campus. On the way she said her roommate was spending the night with her boyfriend, that there would be no one there in her dorm room. Translation: Come in and let's make love. When we got to the dorm entrance, I lay my best kiss on her, but once again, got a dead kiss back. The campus policeman was breathing down our necks, so I figured she was just nervous.
I asked if I could come up to her room, and she said yes, but that she would have to sneak me in the back way, since her all-girls dorm did not allow men in after midnight, and it was just after twelve. We could have walked the short distance over to my unrestricted apartment, but sneaking in sounded much more exciting to me, and I figured she'd be more relaxed in her own place, so we carried out the plans.
