Life has a funny way of changing when you least expect it. We were a happy family, just the three of us. Married for 18 years, great sex life, loved to travel together and watch our son grow up. We had our troubles like every other couple, but we had been able to work through them and found that we were stronger for it in the end.
That all came to a crashing halt the day I got a call from my son early while I was work.
"Dad! Mom's bleeding a lot and I can't wake up her! I've already called 911 and they are on the way," he yelled into the phone.
"What happened?" I asked. Visions of her lying there in a pool of blood made me nauseous. I couldn't bear to think of her hurt.
"I don't know! I came in to tell her good morning before I left for school and she didn't wake up. The sheets are soaked."
He went on to tell me that she was breathing, but she was unresponsive. I kept him on the phone while I ran out the door and got in the car. Soon after he called, the ambulance arrived, and they loaded her and my son up. I was two hours away, but it didn't matter how fast I drove. When I got the hospital, she had already died. Massive blood loss from a ruptured ulcer. It didn't matter how many units they gave her, she was bleeding out too fast. She had had abdominal pains before, but it had never been diagnosed as an ulcer of the stomach.
Our son was a mess of course and so was I. He had to watch the person he loved the most die and didn't even get to say goodbye. I blamed myself for not having her checked more and finding out what was going on. Ulcer? Who the hell dies from an ulcer?
He blamed me too of course. Our relationship had always had my wife as a buffer between us. We were too alike in many ways. Over the next few years while he finished high school our relationship first deteriorated. But then we started going to the beach. A place we had always gone as a family. The first trip was hard without her. We had a few fights about how I sucked as a husband and didn't do enough for her. In the end it was a good trip though because we worked out some issues in those fights. He did know that I had loved his mother. We started running on the beach every morning and finishing with a swim in the surf. Exercising helped us both be too exhausted to fight or to cry. And it was always beautiful on the beach. Even in a storm.
Instead of fighting with each other, we started reminding each other of the fun times we had enjoyed at the beach with her. Instead of getting hammered drinking and being sad, I started to look forward to us talking about her. He did as well. He always had a memory of her doing something that made us laugh. The beach became a new kind of special for just the two of us.
At the end of two years, he was heading off to college. Full ride, but it was on the west coast. He had finished up high school early and had enrolled in the summer session to go ahead and get a few courses in before full time that fall. I was glad that we had weathered the storm of her passing and come out with a better relationship, but I still missed her daily. Slowly fading, but I still reached out to her side of the bed at night.
Suddenly I was faced with an empty house. The house that we had planned to retire in. Still decorated in the way she had done it of course. We had talked about how we were going to have sex in every room of the house in broad daylight when he went to college. Now I wandered around it, feeling like I was just bouncing off the walls. A stranger in a strange land that I thought I knew. Because of my job, we had moved multiple times throughout the years. Finally settling here because the job told me I was done moving. Even though this was the "final" move, we still hadn't made a lot of friends, because "final" isn't always "final" when you're in my position.
As a result, we had never made a lot of close friends. The friends we did have drifted away after her death as she had been the primary person setting up dinner parties and get togethers. The first six months we had people stopping by to bring a casserole or two. But we were both such a wreck that we rarely went out with anybody. The few times that I accepted invitations to go out with the people we had known, it was painfully obvious that to me how uncomfortable I was being a third wheel. Even worse at a dinner party where no one wanted to talk about her. Like they didn't want to bring her up because they didn't want to remind me of her, but not speaking about her besides the "we're so sorry for your loss" was even worse.
After our first beach trip together, my son and I liked spending our time together better anyway. So I had work, my son, our house and that was enough. But that one and half years passed so fast. Now he was gone, off to explore college and his future life, and I had nothing. Just our dog for company and he was getting on in years.
I was well off financially. Her life insurance had paid off the house and left plenty for a college fund that we hadn't tapped. So my son had a large nest egg for when he finished school. I still had a very well paid job and secure investments meant I didn't need to worry about the future. In my early 40's, I thought I should sit down and think about a plan for myself.
Always before, my plans had been about what was best for our family. What was best for the two of us once we were empty-nesters. Now I was hit with the fact that I could do just about anything I wanted and go anywhere I want. I had taken a few days off work to get my son to college so I called my boss and told him I was taking a few more. Maybe ten. We had a good working relationship and I didn't have anything pressing, so he was cool with that.
I realized I wanted to go the beach. But not one that I had been to before. Somewhere with no memories except what the waves would bring me. A few years before I had worked with a guy who raved about the Outer Banks in NC. So I fired up google and got to looking for a nice place with a beach view.
Looking up listings and thinking about going to the beach, I started to remember all the fantastic sex my wife and I had while at the beach. You would think that with a young child always on vacation that it would be hard to arrange, but my wife had always been adventuresome and we usually found a way to get in at least a quickie once a day while at the beach. One time she gave me a totally unexpected blowjob in the bedroom while our son was watching a movie in the next room!
That had all ended with my wife's death. I had no room in my heart for even thinking about sex. Even going to the beach wasn't sparking my interest in women because that was time for my son and I to bond and heal.
Anyway, the fifth place I clicked on had just what I was looking for. A cottage on the beach, weekly stays, dunes and a short drive to some restaurants. I figured it was a long shot that they would be available, but it was early in the season. I couldn't believe my luck. A couple had rented the cottage I wanted, but had just called and cancelled due to a family emergency. It was available starting Saturday. I booked the week and started packing.
The drive down was gorgeous. I had the top down and the dog in the seat next to me. He loved the TT and so did I. We took two days to get there, not pushing it, just enjoying being on the road. We got to the beach around lunch time on the second day, found the office, got the keys and unloaded the car. With just me and the dog, there wasn't much which was a change from when it was all of us and even from when it had just been the two of us. I had learned to travel light, but my wife never had.
I left the dog on the patio with food and water and headed out to a beach side restaurant I had seen on the way in. It had a covered patio over looking the beach and I ordered pork tacos and a local draft beer. It was great to sit there and drink a couple of beers while smelling the ocean and watching the waves crash. The rest of the scenery started catching my eye then as well. Like I said earlier, it had been a couple of long years with no female companionship and no room for it. But I realized then that this beach trip was just what I had needed. A change of pace. Entirely different from my previous life. And there were some very good looking women on the beach.