Bealtaine

We lay naked on her bed, the moon filtering through the open blinds, laying lines of darkness and light across her pale skin. She is sleeping now and her quiet breathing fills the room. The candle she lit as I climbed in her window is burned down to a pool of wax in the brass plate on her bedside table. A tiny dying flame sputters around what is left of the wick, its dim pool of light dancing above us. I kiss her forehead, and then her slightly parted lips. They are still flushed red and the roses on her cheeks are fading slowly.

***

I rush out to my car. There is a nail in my tire, pushed in all the way to the head. The tire is bald and worn, but I have to see her, and the nail seems to be holding the air in. I don't even bother to check the pressure. I just get in the car and I'm gone.

As I climb in her bedroom window her face lights up, smiling as she whispers, "It's Bealtaine tonight. I blessed some candles." She is sitting on her bed holding two green tapers, naked except for a black t-shirt and she helps me in. I'm not sure exactly what Bealtaine is, I know it's an old summer festival, something pagan and forgotten. I'm just getting to know this girl, and even though she is mysterious there is a strange familiarity between us. I watch as she chants under her breath, lighting one of the candles. She gives me the other, "Here this is for you. To take with you." She leans in and we kiss as I take off my jacket. Taking off her shirt she looks right into my eyes the way she sometimes does, just stares straight into my eyes unblinking. She helps me out of my clothes, and I undress quickly. Not because I am in any hurry but because it just seems proper. Seems that I should be naked, as though my clothes would get in the way of anything, even words.

We move closer and continue to gaze into one another's eyes, our hands playing gently on the softer parts of our bodies: Her cheek, My inner thigh. Her neck, the inside of my biceps. The front of her shoulder, along her collarbone, the small of my back. Down to the smooth pale expanse above her breasts and I watch her dark nipples contract into rosebuds, and then return to her eyes. Deep brown eyes, as deep as any ocean and then deeper. I have never felt more behind someone's eyes as I did there with her that night. I hadn't told her yet, but I loved her.

We kiss and move our hands over each other with a kind of slow urgency now, occasionally moving down between each other's legs, teasing with delicate fingers.

***

We move over each other like water over stones. I can feel her underneath her skin. She is strong and lean and she takes me inside her. We fuck to keep daylight away, pushing against one another... ...her hands on the back of my head she pulls my mouth against her clit her breath rising and falling in waves singing out of her she cums in my mouth with my fingers inside her i let her fluid rest in my mouth for a moment like an offering, like the eucharist and, swallow licking bright red girlflesh as she trembles as she twists my sweat-soaked hair in her hands and i am whole i am completely alive in this moment nothing exists save flesh and fluid the bed under us and time holding perfectly still...

***

When I wake up the candle has burnt itself out and the first glow of sunlight is on the horizon. I kiss her cheeks and whisper in her ear as she stirs awake. "It's almost dawn. I should go."

"Mmm... What time is it? My father will be up soon... I wish you could stay..." She watches me dress and I can tell she wants me to stay, that she is disappointed.

"Do you want to call me when he leaves? I can come get you. We can sleep in my bed."

"You don't mind doing that?"

"Are you kidding?"

"I'd love that. I'll call you."

She kisses the top of my head as I lower myself out her window, my arms shaking from the strain of doing it slowly, as to make no noise.

"Goodbye lover" she says as she touches my face. "Blessed be."

"I love you."

As my naked feet touch the ground the warmth of her bed, of the heat she gave me, streams away into the ground. The sidewalk is like ice as I walk to my car, parked a few blocks away so I can start it without anyone in her house knowing I was there. When I get to my car I can see the nail, Holding the air in the worn tire, holding on the edge of failure. A billion billion tiny pieces of air pounding relentlessly outward... but the nail holds it all back, for now.