In rural Pennsylvania, the county fair is still a big deal. Most counties in coal country still have them and since it's understood that most kids are going to skip school to go to the fair, they shorten the school day that Friday to accommodate. Coincidentally school is usually closed first day of deer season too, though that's more of an unofficial state holiday. Hardly anyone, except for transplants from the city, is working. It's a different lifestyle, a different mentality, and everyone comes back the next day with stories about the one they got or the one that got away. This story is about one that got away. She was beautiful, sexy, and silly. She was a fox that I had little hope of being able to outwit.
I remember the day my buddy Chet dared me to ask her to the county fair. I had just gotten my license which meant I was finally an eligible contender among the guys at our school. It had taken me a while to pass my driver's test since my old man insisted I take it in a stick shift. Must have been a dozen times he drove me to the DMV in Harrisburg before I was legally able to drive us home. When my grandfather passed, my dad saved his Pontiac and we fixed it up for me to drive. Chet was hazing me in his usual style as I showed him my new license.
"Wow, man! Just in time for senior year!" Chet snickered. "The babes will be banging on your door for sure!"
Chet was the kind of friend that most people had in high school and then never talked to except at the reunions. He wasn't unlikeable but he wasn't the kind of friend you kept in touch with. After a while you got tired of having to try to buy beer to replace the ones he'd steal from your dad's fridge. He was fun but high maintenance. He was also a catalyst for your spirit of adventure, he would push you to do things you would never do, like ask Miranda Benson to the county fair. I didn't want to lose my bet with him so I went over to the table where she sat.
She was surrounded by her friends, all of them stuck-up townies.
I knew Miranda lived in the country like me. She lived on a farm off of Stroehecker Road. The only reason I knew that is because my dad had done some work in her dad's barn fixing some storm damage. Sam Benson was a big man with hands that could crush a cantaloupe and fingers as thick as sausages. He always had his.357 magnum in his pocket and a sawed off shotgun next to the back door. Miranda's older sister, Amy, once had a peeping tom and ol' Sam used that hot pipe to fill her interloper with both barrels of 00 rock salt.
Sam's youngest daughter, his baby Miranda, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. She was a cheerleader, played softball, and was one of the fastest runners I had ever seen. Those short shorts they wore at the track meets really showed off her powerful legs. When she ran her hair flew wildly behind her despite being in a pony tail and her boobs, oh man, I remember her boobs looked great in those red pinnies. Seeing her run made me think of Baywatch; Pam Anderson running on the beach in that red one piece. I would love to go out on a date with her, but if her dad decided he didn't like the way I looked at her I'd be dodging bullets.
"Mike. Mike did you hear me? Mike!"
Oh shit, how long had I been standing here? I'm sure I had a dumb look on my face.
Here goes nothing. "Miranda, hi, I'm Mike."
"I know who you are. I had American History II with you last year. Honestly I probably wouldn't have passed if you hadn't let me copy your notes." She smiled. Oh that smile, there was something wholesome and sweet about it, it could end all wars. It made you forget yourself and swim in those bright blue eyes. She had the cutest dimples too, highlighting those nice high cheek bones. I had forgotten that I let her use my notes in study hall. Anyhow, back to business I have to ask her out or I'd have to give Chet twenty bucks.
"Miranda, I was wondering you wanted to go to the county fair with me tomorrow?" Here we go, the die is cast, no turning back now.
She looked to her friends; they tried to be sneaky about shaking their heads "no". She looked back up to me. Her lips pursed, I was dying. "Sure! I would love to." She smiled again, my knees buckled and I could swear my mouth was so dry it was like I ate whole box of crackers and had no water.
"Oh, wow! Sure." I said. "I would love that too!" She played with her hair a little and watched me desperately search for something to say. I was stunned, she said "yes". I might have died. I couldn't be sure. Maybe I was in Hell and Old Scratch was just fuckin' with me again. I turned to face my friends, they were laughing hysterically. Chet was looking at me quizzically motioning thumbs up or thumbs down. Miranda gave them all two thumbs up and a big wide grin, they laughed and toppled over each other like bowling pins. They were all snickering and pointing, but I had won.
"What time do you want to pick me up, Mike?"
"Uh, noon? Yeah noon, we can get there early and get a bite to eat."
"I can be ready at noon, now Pa is gonna want to meet you and all, make sure you aren't some weirdo like that business with my sister Amy. Don't you worry about him though, he's a push over."
"Uh, okay. I'm sure he's nice." I said absently.
"Lemme see your hand, I'll write my number down so you don't forget." She took my hand and wrote her phone number in large swoopy numbers and signed her name with a little heart above the "i". I was way out of league here. Her friends stared at me agape.
"Thank you." I blurted as I turned. I was staring at the glittery pink writing on my palm in disbelief. As my eyes focused on my friends I could see that they all had taken to staring as well. Chet nodded in approval.
"Oh and Mike, don't keep a girl waiting, Daddy won't let any of his girls date slouches. Be there at noon if not a little early." I nodded dumbly.
Sure I could be there at noon. What time is that? What is time? Should I leave now? Couldn't hurt I guess.
When I got back over to the table Chet handed me a twenty. I sat down in front of my sad excuse for a cheese steak and the world and all the clamor of the high school cafeteria fell away. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
I pulled up to the end of the gravel road leading to Miranda's house. There was a sign hanging from the porch with a revolver on it and read "Forget the dog, beware of owner!" I wore a nice pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I combed my hair and even put on some of my dad's Jovan Musk. I heard a whistling from behind me.
"It's been a while since I seen one of those! Pontiac Trans Am and I like the color." I turned and saw Sam; he must have been in the barn. "You must be Donny's boy, Michael." He said extending a hand.
"I am." My voice cracked a little bit. I saw a tattoo of an anchor with rope and the initials "USMC". That's great, that's just really great. Never mind the hand cannon he carries in his overalls or the hog-legged duck gun he keeps just inside the door, anything is a weapon in this guy's hands. He caught me staring at his arm.
