"You want some coffee? I just brewed a pot."
"Sure! Thanks. That'd be great!"
Delaney brought the big, steaming mug into the living room and handed it to me. I smiled at the size of the mug - her mom must have told her what a big coffee-drinker I am. I thanked her again, and she wandered back into the kitchen. I looked at the design on the mug, trying to decipher the artsy text that wrapped around the pretty blue-floral background. 'Best Lay Ever!' I read, and my mind did a little stutter-step. Best lay ever?? I was kind of stunned that she'd have that in her cupboard, and I was even more stunned that she'd give it to me! Was it a gift from her hubby, maybe? Or a gift *to* him? It seemed like something she'd keep in the bedroom or stored away somewhere, though. I was surprised she'd keep it where the kids or company could see it.
Anyway, I was kind of amused and confused, and embarrassingly aroused that my girlfriend's daughter served me coffee in a mug that said 'Best Lay Ever!' Did she mean to let me know she was the best lay ever? Or that she thought I might be? Hell if I could figure it out, but either possibility was sure titillating! I just sat back and sipped the delicious hot brew, thinking this was either the most open family ever, or Delaney was just bold as fuck!
A few minutes later, my girlfriend Allison joined me on the couch, watching the grandkids play. I wondered if she'd say anything about the cup, but she didn't even seem to notice, much less make a comment.
As we relaxed in the dim morning light, Delaney popped her head around the corner and asked, "Did you want a cup of coffee too, Mom? Lucas and I haven't drunk it all yet!" Allison nodded eagerly, saying she was definitely ready for a cup. "Okay, just black, right?" And then, just before she slipped back into the kitchen, Delaney added with a little laugh, "Sorry, I don't have another mug as big as Lucas's. Guess he's the lucky one."
Alrighty, then!
I suppose I should back up just a little bit and give you a little background! We had flown in the night before for a week's visit, spending time with my girlfriend's kids. We live some distance from them, and I've only had a couple chances to meet them since Allison and I have been together. She has two sons and a daughter, and we were spending some time with each. We spent most of the time at Delaney's, though, because she was the one with the grandkids.
Anyway, after that first morning at Delaney's, I just found myself always grabbing the same mug whenever I got coffee at her house. That's my habit at home, too - I just rinse out the mug and use the same one over and over. It didn't hurt that I got a little thrill out of the saying each time I used the 'Best Lay Ever' mug, too. I always did like naughty secrets.
I don't remember if it was the second day or third when I had an awkward little encounter. I was in Delaney's kitchen, rinsing the mug and setting it aside for later, when she came in and said, "You don't have to use that one all the time. I don't mind washing it."
There was nothing at all out-of-the-ordinary in what she said or how she said it, but I was instantly on alert. I think it was just because of my own thoughts, and the secret little thrill I'd been having drinking out of that cup! In any case, I guess I answered with a little too much enthusiasm when I said, "No no! No need. I like this one!"
She kind of chuckled at me and looked at me like I was goofy, which I definitely felt at that moment. I'd only met the kids a couple of times before, and didn't know them well, but I knew Delaney could have a biting sense of humor, shall we say. Still grinning, she picked up the mug and looked at the script, then looked at me and asked, "So, you must be having your best day ever??"
I stood there and looked at her, confused as hell. I must have looked as confused as I felt. I muttered something about it being a pretty good day, yeah, then just stood there, treading water in a sea of awkwardness.
She laughed at me - and I'm quite sure it was AT me - and motioned to the mug again. "I thought you liked this cup because you're having your best day ever!" She pointed out the words as she said it.
"Ohhhh!" I said, understanding dawning on me ever so slowly, like a rheostat being turned up at a snail's pace. "I thought... I didn't... so, that's what it says! 'Best *Day* Ever!'" I laughed at my own stupidity.
"Yeah, best day ever," Delaney said matter-of-factly. "What did you think it said?"
I paused, straining like hell to see if I could detect any humor or irony in her voice. Was this a trap? Was she just playing games with me? Or did she really not see what I saw in the mugs' flowing script? I looked closer, and it STILL looked like 'Lay' to me! I had to work really hard to see 'Day' there, even after she pointed it out.
Dear lord. I knew I had to answer her. The pause was growing to an embarrassing length!
"Uh, I... I thought it said 'Best Lay Ever,'" I said sheepishly.
Unless I misread her completely, actual shock passed over her features. She snatched up the cup again and looked closely, her mouth open in disbelief.
"Oh my god!!" she said, her turn to be nonplussed. "I never noticed that!" Her surprise seemed one hundred percent genuine. "I'm sorry!!" She flushed a pretty red.
"Oh!" I laughed, embarrassment making my own face burn. "No need to be sorry! It's just hard to read!"
I saw her expression change slowly as she thought about things, and she looked at me again. "So, wait a minute. You thought I gave you a mug that said 'Best Lay Ever!?' Emotions flashed at lightning speed across her pretty face, and her eyes grew wide and bright.
I couldn't tell what she was thinking at all, and I felt again like I was walking in a minefield. My mind was racing, and everything I could think of to say was a potential disaster! I didn't know if she would think it was funny, or nasty, or just stupid.
