Beta and I have been what might best be termed pals for about two and a half years now. There has always been an unstated attraction between us; for my part, it is physical, intellectual, and emotional; I have never had occasion to ask her exactly what she feels for me, but we both know there is something there. We never went through a stage of gentle flirtation, nor even of subtle and not-so-subtle sexual innuendo, but intimacy came into our conversation very quickly as our friendship grew. We never acted on our feelings, but the more time we spend together, the more drawn to her I feel - she is sensitive and intelligent, obviously, or she wouldn't hold my attention for long, and also athletic, and but unlike most women in my life, she is artistic and environmentally aware and active. I find comfort in her similarities to other women I love, but also am also attracted to the major difference - she is, in many ways, more like me than any other woman I have ever met.
We joke about having sex with each other, teaming up to seduce another friend of ours into a threesome, and have even discussed how sleeping together might affect our friendship, but we are all talk and no action. It's emotionally safe, and it provides one of my most fun and rewarding relationships. I am not sure either of us could do or say anything that might upset or surprise the other - because we are just friends, no possessiveness or jealousy jumps into play. We go drinking together, she tells all about her current lovers, we laugh, and we relax. It's a beautiful kind of friendship, and there are few people I feel closer to. The only danger I foresee is that I might fall in love with her - nothing can mess up a friendship like falling in love at the wrong time.
One Saturday morning, we met for a walk - I'm not a runner, and so there is no hope of keeping up with her, but she and I can walk and talk for hours in our own little world. We walked west, along the lake shore, from Union Station. Alone, I can do it in about three hours. In good company, it takes longer but seems less.
Mid-spring: the day was hot, but there was still a cool wind off the lake. The city sometimes gets heat waves in May, but none this year. We walked and we talked. Trivia. Deep thoughts. Complaints. Exploring each other's personality - something we are both good at. There is always more to learn about someone you care about. Time flew; soon we were back where we started from, but hungry and thirsty. I invited her to my place for lunch. We picked up some beer, bought a selection of gourmet cheeses, breads, salmon, and fruits, and headed up to my condo. After four hours in the sun, we were feeling a little wilted, but I cranked up the air conditioning, served us each glass San Benadetto, and soon we were just tired and hungry. I put together some lunch; capers and lemon with salmon, cream cheese, and sourdough, some brie, and grapes and strawberries. After the second beer, exhaustion hit. We lay down, perfectly innocently, side-by-side on the carpet. The sun shone through the window, but with the air conditioning, comfort reigned. I kissed her gently on the cheek. She sighed, slightly, like a sleeping cat who has been unexpectedly caressed. Suddenly, I was struck by the idea of her lying next to me, covered all over in drying sweat. Soft, sweet, gentle, yielding. Instantly there came to me what I believe psychologists call an 'intrusive thought' - a dominating thought I could not shake. All I could think of was pulling off her pants and burying my head between her legs. The thought of her scent and taste excited me immediately and obviously. I wouldn't have been embarrassed if she had noticed; I see no shame in finding a woman attractive, and I can't fight a normal physiological response. Still, it would have been awkward, not to mention completely wrong, to act on my thought without an invitation. And I am not so selfish as to wake someone out of a perfectly good sleep just because I am feeling horny. I exhaled slowly, and got up.
"Where are you going?" she whispered, almost inaudibly. I was planning to go in the next room, where I wouldn't disturb her, and take care of things. Then I could just lie beside her, enjoying her company and her warmth and the sound of her breathing, and maybe sleep a little too.
"I've got to pee," I lied. I stood up. Her eyes opened, slightly. She squinted at me through the sunlight, briefly.
"What's on your mind?" she asked, letting her eyes fall shut again.
"Nothing, really, I'm just so tired, and I did have two beers."
"Can I watch?" Watch me pee? Well, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it was a new kind of intimacy. Of course, she was also calling my bluff.
"Okay, I'll come clean with you - lying her beside you has gotten my heart racing; and put such vivid thoughts into my mind that I will not be able to relax beside you without masturbating."
"Can I watch?" she asked again. She was, I knew, always looking for new kinds of sexual experience; I had never thought of voyeurism myself. Maybe she had been on to me all the time.
"If you want; it's not that interesting."
"I'm sure you can make it interesting for me. I've never seen a guy masturbate. I know you have some toys you can use to spice up your act."
I paused, and collected my thoughts. This could work out well.
"Okay, but there are some conditions. First, you have to stay fully clothed. Second, you have to undress me. And I mean completely. Third, you control the vibrator in my butt plug. And fourth, you are in control over how I do it. You have to tell me how to move my hands, and I won't come until you say I can." I realized I had given her far more power over me than I had intended.
She spoke very formally, as if I had just challenged her to a duel. "We accept your terms." Then she smiled.
